


The Allure of the Moon

by DoomedShips



Series: The Allure Series [1]
Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon)
Genre: Canonical Age Difference, Cassandra is Bad at Feelings (Disney: Tangled), Dubious Consent, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional Porn, F/M, Flashbacks, Ghostly Girl is Manipulative AF, Hurt/Comfort, I Hope I Tagged Well, Kidnapping, M/M, Moon Powers Cassandra (Disney: Tangled), Moon Powers Varian (Disney), Multi, Non to Dub to Consensual, Non-consensual Drug Use (canon), Pining, Poor Cassandra, Poor Varian (Disney), Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sad Varian (Disney), Sexual Fantasy, The feels are real, Truth Serum, Varian Loves Cassandra, Varian is adorable, mind the tags please
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:08:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 41,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28537854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoomedShips/pseuds/DoomedShips
Summary: Cassandra has kidnapped Varian. She's not quite sure why she took him...but she did.Ghostly Girl convinces her to make the most of it...to do whatever she must to gain an ally in this war.Varian is...confused. He doesn't know why she brought him here, and his heart is yearning for his Cass to come back to him....this isn't his Cass, though. And now, after being drugged with Truth Serum...Varian must face some uncomfortable truths. About himself...and about the woman he loves.As their time together progresses, Varian must deal with one seemingly impossible choice after the next…And Cassandra is confronted with feelings she never knew she had.Will he convince her to come home? Or will she persuade him to join the rebellion once again?Set during Cassandra's RevengeYou can follow me on Twitter! @DoomedShips
Relationships: Cassandra & Ghostly Girl (Disney: Tangled), Cassandra/Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider/Rapunzel, Cassandra/Varian (Disney: Tangled), Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider & Varian, Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider/Varian, Lance Strongbow & Varian, Rapunzel & Varian (Disney)
Series: The Allure Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2152605
Comments: 276
Kudos: 155





	1. The Journey

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! My 2021 resolution to myself - to actually post a fanfic that I've written. I'm nervous as heck...but here it goes! Most chapters of this story are already finished, or only need some mild tweaking :)
> 
> PLEASE MIND THE TAGS! One last warning - this is non-con/dub-con to begin with, up until partway through the third chapter (in my opinion). Moderate your own experience carefully, please. <3
> 
> Kudos and comments appreciated :) *Let me make you proud*

With one final heave, Cass finally succeeded in lugging his unconscious body to the top of the tower. Sure, her magical rocks could have helped some on the climb, but she didn’t want to scare him if he’d regained consciousness - who knew if he would faint again? Besides, her body could use the workout, anyway - after all, this whole kidnapping thing was a far stretch from the solo swordplay she’d been having the previous months. Muscles she’d nearly forgotten she had were throbbing now. Good.

Placing him down gently on the ground, she gave him a quick assessment, just in case he had been hurt by accident (it was a long trek) and required first aid (he didn’t). Sighing with relief, her eyes pulled up to his face - asleep like this, he was peaceful, unafraid of her. There was some small part of her that wished - just maybe - he’d stay that way. Or become that way, at least - if her plan worked.

He’d passed out from exhaustion about halfway to the tower. The begging on the way out, through the secret passageways Cass had known all her life, that had been fine - when he’d started to cry, though...she’d felt guilty. She knew she shouldn’t anymore - he was merely another barrier trying to stop her from fulfilling her destiny. _Her_ destiny. And yet, she’d felt more of a monster in that moment than when she had first betrayed Rapunzel.

That didn’t change the fact that she needed him, though. Sure, she might have had time to get the incantation out of him in the passages, but...well, she needed something to draw Rapunzel after, right? Yeah, that was it. That was why she’d taken him.

And so she had continued, dragging him along behind her as he’d cried - the struggling, at least, had stopped early on. He knew he was no match for her in strength. As they arrived at her horse, she hoisted him up, marvelling at how light he was. She laid him down across her mount’s back - she wasn’t sure if he could ride or not. Since he was fluctuating between silence and bouts of tears now, she hadn’t really wanted to ask.

She set a very quick pace, eager to get away as soon as possible. Wanting to give him space, she’d walked, leading the horse - she was very lucky that she was paying attention as his body began to slip. He cried out, but she was already there, holding him in her arms - her heart pulsed slightly quicker. Cringing internally, she recognized for a split second it wasn’t just from the adrenaline - _what the fuck was that?_ She pushed it down, down as quickly as possible - she didn’t even want to consider it.

“Do you need help staying on?” she asked sharply, looking down at him.

Loosening his clutch on her arms - but not letting go - he wouldn’t meet her eyes as he responded. “I need food. And water. And _rest_. I’m not like you, Cass, I’m not - cut out for this.”

“We can’t.”

“Please-”

“No.” She sighed in frustration, then considered him briefly. “Sit properly on the horse. I have an idea.”

She turned his body, lifting him from the waist this time - he pulled a leg high, threw it over the horse with practiced ease as he slid comfortably into place. _Ah, so he did know how to ride. Still...he was pretty exhausted. Better off not risking anything_. With a grunt, she jumped up behind him - his body tensed, moving forward to clutch the horse’s neck as he flinched away from her.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” she said roughly.

He scoffed. “More than you already have?”

Her face fell, just a tiny bit. “We can’t stop. You know that. You look like you can ride, but I don’t want you to get hurt if you - if anything happens. I’ll ride with you to make sure you don’t fall again.”

“No, that’s not necessa- _agh_ !” He yelped slightly as the horse began to trot. “Cass, I’m not a _child_ , I can do this _myself_ . I’ll be _fine_ -”

“Not without me. We need to move quicker. Varian, I’m sor-” _Fuck, she had almost apologized._ “I have food where we’re going, and water, but we can’t stop here or else I could be caught. Good for you, bad for me. We’re gonna need to go fast, now, but try to get some rest. I’ll make sure you stay on. You’ll need your strength for later.”

“For what?”

“Helping me figure out these rocks. You know that. Now, no more talking,” she ordered. He fell silent as she brought the horse to a gallop - very tense at first, his body relaxed after a few miles, his grip on the mane loosening considerably. His body swayed slightly to the left, which she took to mean he’d finally fallen asleep.

Keeping her arms on the reins either side of him, she was sure she’d be able to keep him upright enough to be safe, at least...then, all of a sudden, he stretched in his sleep and leaned back. She absolutely jolted from the contact as he touched her, her body tensing immediately - she looked down, seeing his sleeping face as his head fell on her shoulder. Cass’ heart panged lightly in her chest; when was the last time she’d seen someone who hadn’t looked either angry or scared at her presence? Smiling sadly, she reached a hand out to push a few stray locks of hair from his face - her fingers lingered on his distinctive stripe of blue. Her heart hammered a bit harder as she brushed against his cheek - when was the last time she’d had physical contact with another? Not in a fight, that is. Though, come to think of it, did this even count? Since he was unconscious? 

Shaking her head to pull herself out of those thoughts, she tore her eyes from his face, urging her horse all the faster. After some time had passed, she flinched again as he inhaled deeply and turned in his sleep - his right arm moved across, wrapping around her left shoulder. Another pang hit her, and she felt her eyes become cloudy - when had she last been hugged? Not that this even counted...she thought about pushing him off her, but… they continued on their path, Varian cradled between her arms.

As they’d arrived at the clearing, she’d tried to wake him - poking, whispering, a couple of small shakes - but it was to no avail. The stress of the day, combined with the physical exertion, had completely drained him. Cass disentangled herself from him, leaning him forward so she could jump down before pulling him gently from the horse. In her arms once again, he didn’t stir at all as she laid him on the ground. Beginning to pace, she started and threw him a suspicious look - better safe than sorry. She surveyed the ruins around them, spotting a solid-looking beam that remained of the fallen tower. Lifting him again ( _how was it so easy?)_ she leaned him against it, tying his arms behind his back so he wouldn’t be able to attempt an escape.

She doesn’t notice the blue form of her companion until she speaks up. “So, this is the alchemist!” she proclaims, flouncing over to take a closer look. Cassandra stands without realizing it, placing her hand on her sword. Noticing, Ghostly Girl looks at her smugly. “Protective, are we? Worry not, I was distracted in the castle and didn’t have time for a closer look...oh, _wow_.” Her phantom fingers reach up to his hair, hovering over the blue as she stares hungrily at him. “Now that’s interesting. So much power, though he’s unaware of it...and such a cute little thing, isn’t he?” Her fingers inch closer to him.

_Power? That he is unaware of? What does she mean…?_ Cass feels a sudden, deep concern reverberating in the pit of her stomach. “Don’t touch him - or - well, don’t do that.”

She cocks an eyebrow at Cass’ demanding tone. “As you wish. Speaking of touch…” Her hand lingers slightly over Varian before she turns and moves to Cassandra’s side. “This is the one who loves you, is it not?”

“Love? No, I didn’t say - it was just a crush he had on me. Pretty sure that’s not a thing anymore. Not since he went all Mad Scientist. And if that didn’t do it in, then this -'' she gestures down at her dark attire. “ - definitely would have. He’s one of the ‘good guys’ again,” she finishes off, voice full of derision at the last.

“Right...a _crush_. And you think it’s dissipated? I wouldn’t be so sure,” Ghostly Girl replies, a grin sliding into place. “But, as you say. Either way, I’m sure the physical attraction still lingers. He is young, after all - anything with a pulse at his age would do.”

“And why is that relevant?” Cass asks sarcastically.

“Now, now. No need to be _rude,_ Cassandra. I’m merely pointing out that, if the desire is still - active, as I suspect it is...it could be used to our advantage.”

Confused for a moment, Cass snarls at the suggestion in her voice. “Oh, please. I’m not going to... _bribe_ him with that.”

“And why not? Pardon my boldness, but it’s been quite - _ahem_ \- a long time for you, has it not? Not since that last tryst with the princess and her boyfriend.”

“It wasn’t a tryst. We were...together. The three of us.”

“Oh, please, Cassandra, I thought you had stopped lying to yourself. They were merely using you to spice up their love life.” The words hit like a jackhammer - Cassandra pushed back unbidden tears. Sure, her relationship with Rapunzel and Eugene wouldn’t be considered the norm in this day and age; but she’d believed they’d loved her. Rapunzel, at least…

“I’m sorry, but it’s the truth. You were nothing more than a plaything to the Princess and her handsome rogue. But with this one…” The blue ghost’s eyes looked hungrily toward Varian once again. “This might be just the thing you need to put that all in the past. A way to - move on. And a mind as brilliant as that...he’s already been opposed to Corona in the past. ‘Mad Scientist’, you said? I think it would be extraordinarily simple to… ‘turn him back’, if you will. Convince him to ally himself with you - by my count, that would be two birds with one stone.”

Cassandra crossed her arms, wishing she wasn’t considering her confidante’s implications. It was true, wasn’t it? He’d surely be difficult to persuade otherwise, the kid was far too stubborn for someone his age...but if she were to pursue him in _that_ way… if there was any way to get Varian on her side, it would be with exactly that. He’d always been attracted to her, not just physically for a while there, either - she’d always played it off as a schoolboy crush, but now, with no other ties, no Rapunzel or Eugene occupying her mind or body every minute of every day…

After a minute or so of deliberation, she asked timidly, “And how would I even find out?”

“Easily.” The Girl moved to him again, gesturing to the bag lying at his side. “He has the Truth Serum, does he not? By your own account, it is quite powerful. More than enough to uncover the facts.”

Biting her lip, Cassandra thought about it. Varian himself had drugged the whole kingdom with that invention, back when he was… And if it were true, if Varian was still interested, if they did...but she shouldn’t. The power of that serum was far too great, it would be cruel to use it against him just to find out. She _couldn’t_...

“They all consider you a villain, anyway. Why not?” the ghost goaded as if she were reading her mind.

Cassandra looked up at that, face bathed in anger. Unthinkingly, she stepped forward, grabbed the bag and began searching through it, finding the purple bottle easily - the kid had even labeled it. _That wasn’t smart of him_ , she smirked to herself. Standing over him, she leaned his head back - his mouth was open already, like he was waiting for it. She paused for a moment - was this really who she wanted to be?

Ghostly Girl’s prickling words filled her head again...with that, she had poured a drop into his mouth and waited for him to wake up. Once he had, she’d forced him to divulge the third incantation - she’d manipulated the rocks to assemble themselves into a tower, and Varian had passed out from sheer overwhelmedness. She’d collected her supplies from her horse before beginning their trek up. And up. _And up_.

And now, here they were. Cass ran her fingers along his cheek one more time before turning to find a blanket. Covering him, she went to the kitchen she had made so recently, fixing two plates of meat, cheese and bread, as well as a jug and two cups for water from her supplies. Staring thoughtfully at his portions, she wondered how potent this version of the serum was - he’d had plenty of time to fiddle with it, and she knew he must have. _Alchemist’s perfectionism._ Well, it likely wouldn’t hurt him to have more, just in case.

  
She brought everything back to the main hall, taking the purple bottle from his bag once again and added two drops into his water cup before filling it. About to put the bottle back into his bag, she looked down at it briefly; her hand clasped around it tighter as she turned. _Who knew if they’d need more later?_ Shaking her head to rid herself of the guilt that started pressing up, she placed his set beside him and went to sit on her throne. She deposited the water jug and Truth Serum beside it, out of his view. Now, all she had to do was wait...she leaned back, stretching herself out on her throne as she ate her meal. Try as she might to focus on other things, her eyes always wandered back to his sleeping form as she waited for him to wake up.


	2. Unwilling Divulgence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra puts her plan into action, and Varian is forced to...assist.
> 
> WARNING: full of smutty smut smuts.

When the sun began to set, Cassandra channeled her magic to cast light in the hall. As Varian finally stirred, she walked over quickly, standing nearby with her arms crossed as his eyes fluttered open.

Blinking blearily, he looked rather confused as to where he was. Eyes flitting, they found hers - a look of relief that she just barely caught, before she saw the memories rush back. His body tensed.

“Where are we?”

“Home,” she answered shortly.

He studied the walls, the ground, the furnishings - eyes as curious as always, Cass saw the realization dawn quickly in them.

“You - you made _all of this_? Out of the rocks, just now? _Amazing!_ ” As always, his scientifically-inclined brain is processing the new information its been fed, she thought, rather than the imminent danger he could be in. Despite the fact that he had just been kidnapped, his eyes burned with curiosity, darting around the room as he studied the architecture.

She flushed slightly - even after... _everything_ , he was still impressed with her creation. _Oh, no._ She could see the questions about to leave his lips as his eyes made their way to hers - _not in the mood right now, kid._ “Yes. You said you were hungry earlier - I brought you food.” She pointed to the unnoticed plate, happy for the distraction _(there may have been a sigh of relief that it worked)_. He grabbed the water quickly, drinking it all in one before ravenously shoving the food in his mouth. 

“I’m touched. You didn’t even check for poison,” she said, smirking.

He paused for a moment, just a moment of concern in his eyes, before continuing. “You said you need me. You wouldn’t poison me until you didn’t,” he said matter-of-factly between bites.

Her eyebrows knitted together. “I wouldn’t poison you, anyway!” she exclaimed, frustrated. The look he gave her then was so... _mistrustful_. It hurt. “I’m not - I’m just trying to embrace my destiny, Varian. I thought you, of all people, would understand.”

Finishing his food, he shrugged slightly before standing. “I don’t know you anymore, Cassandra.” Stretching, he closed his eyes for a moment before turning back to her. “And I don’t know why you brought me here. You could have just as easily made me tell you back in Corona.”

She smiled at that. “Not without prying eyes - it would have been annoying to try to get it out of you right in the middle of everyone. Besides, with you here - _She_ will definitely follow us.”

Varian paused for a moment. “That doesn’t mean Rapunzel will fight you, though. She’ll...she’ll figure out another way. She always does.”

Cass sneered. “She can’t avoid it this time. My house, my rules. Speaking of which...since you’re here already…”

Worry coloured his face now, though his voice stayed steady. “You can torture me all you want, _Cassandra_. I’ll never turn on Rapunzel.” He crossed his arms defiantly.

“Not planning on torture, kid. You think you’ll never turn on her...well, we’ll see about that.” Quick as a whip, Cass pulled rocks from the floor beneath him - her control was so great now that she was able to separate his wrists and pull them to either side, arms spread out as if he were chained in one of the dungeons. Shock, quickly followed by brazen determination, settled on his face. She admired him for that.

“It doesn’t matter how much you _hurt me_ , I won’t -”

“I’m not going to hurt you, Varian,” she said sincerely - though she was sure he wouldn’t hear that in her voice. “I told you that already. I just want to talk.”

“Oh, what, you think you can _convince_ me?”

“I hope so. Did you forget about the Truth Serum you took already?”

“Yes, I did - _argh,_ ” he replied, biting his lip as worry flooded his face again. “Wait, but how did it last that long? It shouldn’t - it’s been hours, that was the new recipe!” He grimaced at her as realization dawned on her face. “Your - your comment earlier. You...you _drugged_ me? _Again_?”

Quickly, she created a chair for herself directly across from him, just a few feet away. “Mmm. Very clever, as always - I knew you’d figure it out. Let’s talk.”

<~~~>

They sat in silence for a few minutes, watching each other. Fear etched across his face; Cass trying to keep the guilt she felt from hers. Unsure how to start this - _process_ \- she asked, “A new recipe, huh? How long will this one last?”

“It depends on how much you used,” he answered immediately, gritting his teeth when he finished.

“One drop when we were outside. Two in the water.” His eyes glazed over in anger - as he seethed, she waited for an answer. There wasn’t one. _Ah, so it has to be in question form now. Very smart - must be useful for questioning the dungeon’s prisoners. The Captain must be happy with this._ “How long will two drops last?” she rephrased.

“Two and a half hours.” The frustration in his voice was evident.

“I see.” She leaned back, studying him. Ignoring the uncomfortable expression on his face...those bright blue eyes, his full, rosy cheeks above a pointed chin, freckles splattered across his cheeks (would she find them hidden elsewhere?). The blue ghost was right. He wasn’t unattractive. A small fire flared in the pit of her stomach.

The apparition appeared by his shoulder. “Stop wasting time. Ask him,” Ghostly Girl said sternly.

“How?”

Varian replied, “Well, ever since I discovered how variable the length of active time was -”

“Not you. Sorry.” He flashed her a questioning look, though he was relieved at the respite.

“Start by asking if he still has feelings for you,” the ghost directed.

 _Too soon for that. Something else, first._ Gathering herself, Cassandra leans forward slightly, grasping her hands together. _The truth, now - or, at least, a part of it._ “Listen, Varian...you’ve already told me the third incantation. And I needed something to draw the Princess in…. But those aren’t the _only_ reasons I brought you here.” She pauses, letting it sink in - instead of relief, he looked more bewildered than ever. “I want - I think you’d be more valuable long term.”

“Long term?” He looked momentarily disconcerted before his eyes flashed with disgust. “Trying to _recruit me_ , Cass? Well, sorry to tell you, but a lot has changed since you left. Maybe you didn’t catch the news while you were out here, doing - whatever it is you’ve been doing. _I’m_ _not a villain_. Not anymore.”

She watched him coolly. Not the earnest answer she was expecting - he actually sounded _mad_ at her. “Oh, no, I’ve definitely heard. Switched back to ‘the good’...I’ve been told. Not that everyone believes it. But you certainly seem to. You think you’re back on the right side of this, despite being just like me...looked over, passed over, again, _and again and again_ -”

“That’s not true!” He shouted, straining against the rocks that held him in place. “Rapunzel knows my strengths, she asks me for help and she even lets me research at the castle! We figured out how to beat the red rocks _together_ , she -”

“Yeah, sure… some good old fashioned teamwork, even after what you _did_ to her. Honestly, Varian, do you think they will ever look at you the same after what you did? To them? _To me_?” His eyes start to fill with guilt now, mixing in with his defiance - she was on the right track.

“I...I don’t think they ever will,” he admitted slowly, struggling against every word that left his lips. His eyes linked with hers. “But all I can do is try to get - _to be_ \- better.” His voice cracks in earnestness as he forces his eyes to stay on her. “And Cass, I’m sorry - _I’m so sorry._..for...hurting you back then. You’re the only one I didn’t get to apologize to-” _And the one he most needed to forgive him..._

She scoffed, rolling her eyes exaggeratedly. “Apology accepted, I guess - given your current predicament, I’d say we’re even.” She studied his restrained body for a moment before continuing. “That line when you caught me in that robot’s arms…’I always knew I could sweep you off your feet’. How long did you plan that one for?”

“It w-wasn’t planned...not for those - c-circumstances, at least,” he blurted out, flushing all the deeper. “And it was an _automaton_.”

 _Ah. Who would’ve guessed his little_ _crush_ _would be so literal?_

“Right. An automaton. Anyway, back to my point...heroes and villains. People just don’t understand, that’s not how life works. I’m not a villain either, Varian. No more than you. I’m just trying to fulfill my destiny.”

“Is _this_ your destiny? Fighting with your friends, hurting them and taking - whatever the _hell_ you want?” he said angrily. Cass was almost impressed, until his face fell into sadness. “Cass, this isn’t _you._ I know it, and I think you know it, too, deep down. Rapunzel definitely knows it, and all she wants is to have you back -”

 _Why did he keep bringing_ _her_ _up?_ “This is exactly who I am, Varian - and it’s who you could be, too, if you’d just admit it to yourself,” she said sharply. “Now, _stop talking about_ _the Princess_. That’s not what this is about.”

“Isn’t it? Cass, she misses you so much, she -”

“We’re getting off topic,” Ghostly Girl singsongs. “Stop wasting _time_.”

“Do you still like me?” Cass blurted out, partly because she’s overwhelmed - but mostly to make him stop talking about Her. _Yes, Cassandra, it’s time - stop putting it off_.

“Y-yes? Of course I do, _we all do_ , we all want you back…” Varian responded sincerely. _You have no idea how much I’ve missed you..._

“Not like that. I mean...are you still - you know - _attracted_ to me?” Her breath catches in her throat as she forces her eyes to stay on him. She watches as he wrestles internally, grunting slightly as he struggles against the serum, before - 

“Yes,” he blurted out, flushing and biting his lip. _Wait, what? Why was she asking about..._ “Cass, don’t -”

“How much?” she pressed, genuinely curious.

“A lot.” He clammed up, having answered her question - his eyes stay on the ground in what she guesses is shame. _Okay. Good. Now she knows. But what does she do with that information?_

“Ask if he dreams about you,” the ghost suggested, a hungry grin on her face.

“Do you ever have - daydreams about me?” she asked. Dreams were unintentional for the most part, whereas daydreams...

“Yes.” His flush deepened slightly. “Cass, please don’t ask -”

“What happens in them?”

“Sometimes, they’re about you coming back to Corona, all of us being friends again. And sometimes -” he struggled again, trying to push down the answer from his lips, but the Truth Serum of his own making is too powerful. “ - they’re about us being... _intimate_...together.”

Her heart - if she didn’t know any better, it jumped? Soared? She’d been expecting it, of course, he was a young man after all, but to fantasize about _her_...why on Earth would anyone want to?

“ _Oooooh_ , I told you so!” her companion squealed excitedly. “Tell him to describe what happens, and do just that - it’ll get him _for sure_.”

“Leave us alone,” Cass said sharply, slightly frustrated - Varian looks up in confusion.

“What?” _He couldn’t very well go anywhere, given he was strapped in place right now..._

“Not you.”

“Who?”

“As you wish,” the ghost replied, disappointed. “You’ll need to tell me. _Every. Single. Detail._ How exciting!” Giving Cass a large wink, she giggled as she disappeared.

“No one. Nothing. Intimate?”

“Yes,” he replied, distracted from his question by the shame coursing through him. He hadn’t wanted to tell her about that, _not ever_ , and now…

“Varian.” He looked up again, pulled from his thoughts by the tone of her voice. Was it just his imagination, or was she…

Cass rose from her seat now, appearing almost cautious. “Have you - _been_ \- with anyone before?”

“Just once.” He’s fulfilled his forced response, but he continues before he can stop himself. “I-I kissed a girl. At one of my town’s festivals.” _Fuck, Varian, this isn’t a_ _conversation. _ _Don’t - explain._ **_This isn’t her._ ** _This isn’t the Cass you know._

A small flash of envy courses through her. _Where had that come from?_ Disconcerted for a moment, she rationalized with herself. That wasn’t - _jealousy_ \- no, it was just worry that her plan wouldn’t work. But, judging by his response...one kiss? Was that - _it_?

“What did she look like?” she asked before she can stop herself - _she’s curious, so why not?_

“Black hair, grey eyes...t-taller than me, really - _beautiful,_ ” he finished with gritted teeth. _Nononono..._

Recognizing the description, she can’t help it when a small dash of hope flares inside her. “What were you thinking about, when you kissed her?”

“You. _Argh_ ,” he groaned in frustration. Eyes snapping to hers, he pleaded, “Cass, this is _cruel_. Stop making me _talk about this_ -” His voice dropped mid-sentence as he registered what he was seeing. She was walking towards him, slowly. And the look on her face was... _what was that?_

She stood in front of him now, arms at her side as she leaned down slightly to look in his face. “What would you do if I kissed you right now?”

_He wanted to tell her to get away from him, that he’d flail, that he’d pull away as quickly as he could…_

“I… I’d kiss you back."

Her face got closer to his and, try as he might, he couldn’t draw his eyes away - as she leaned closer and closer, his brain was screaming at him, that this was wrong, this wasn’t okay, he was _tied up, for Christ’s sake, she was taking advantage of him!_

She froze just before their lips met - he could feel her breath tickling his skin.

“I don’t know if you want it,” she said, her body turning slightly away. A statement - he wasn’t forced to answer.

“I...I do,” he breathed. A small smile played across her lips as she turned back, leaned forward and pressed her lips to his.

Cass marvelled at the softness of his lips as she brushed against them for the first time. She’d never considered him in this way before, not explicitly at the very least; but being here now, she had no idea why. True, he was a bit clumsy in his movements, but his earnestness, paired with his basic instincts, was a great combination. Taking control, she cupped his face in her hands and maneuvered him slightly, raising his chin up as she prodded his mouth open with her tongue. Moving slowly (wondering if his first kiss had gotten this far) she worked her way inside, moving his face as she saw fit to get the best access. She sucked on his lip now, eliciting a moan before she guided his tongue into her mouth - again, clumsy, so she pushed it back with her own to demonstrate again. Catching on this time, he moved his tongue into her mouth unbidden, with much better results - worried about his breathing, she pulled back slowly.

“Was that better than your first kiss?”

“By far,” he panted.

The realization crashed into them both simultaneously - that he was still restrained, still under Truth Serum, that they were _still on opposing sides._ Varian looked down in embarrassment. Cassandra began to as well, and in doing so realized that wasn’t necessarily the only reason he’d looked down...she could see the slight tenting of his pants as well as he could.

Guilt ran through her yet again. He was so vulnerable like this, so defenseless, she shouldn’t take advantage of that…

“... _consider you a villain_ ,” Ghostly Girl’s voice echoed in her head. “ _Tell him to describe what happens…_ ”

Gritting her teeth in determination, she looked at him again. She needed to get him on her side. This was the only way. (Or so she told herself.)

<~~~>

“So - a kiss. Was that all? Are you a virgin?” She tried to be nonchalant, not that it’s really possible when the question is directed at someone who is forced to answer honestly.

“Y-yes. Not that - I don’t think that’s relevant,” he answered quickly, glaring at the floor. _Why did she need to know? And wasn’t it fucking - obvious? _

“And those...intimate daydreams. Do you - touch yourself when you think about them?” She felt a fire take light in the pit of her stomach as she asked, wondering exactly what she should imagine... _she’d find out soon enough, she supposed._

“Yes.” The betrayal in his voice was evident. She studied him - his eyes flickered up at her silence. Fear ran across his face as he began to guess what she would ask next. “ _Cass, don’t_ -”

“What do I do first?”

“Different things,” he answered vaguely, trying and failing to keep the panic from his voice. _Dear God, there were so many and he wouldn’t be able to _ _lie _ -

 _Ah, so there were multiple fantasies_. “Hmm. There must be one that’s ideal for your - current position,” she said suggestively, gesturing to his chained form. Allowing him a moment to think, she waited for his face to redden even further - he’d pinpointed exactly which one would work best, even if he hadn’t wanted to. “What do I do first in the one you’re thinking about right now?”

 _Fuck, fuck, no, don’t say it, Varian!_ “You strip your clothing off.” His voice cracked as he tried very hard to hold back his tears. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out this - torture he had somehow found himself in. _She’d said she_ **_wasn’t going to torture him…!_ **

She considered him briefly - stripping out of this armor could prove difficult, considering it didn’t exactly have zippers...she had formed the rock around her clothing, though. Hopefully that, paired with her greatly increased control (thanks to the third incantation) - she picked at a finger where her glove would be to see if it would lift away. As it did so, she smiled - _perfect._ “Fast or slow?”

 _No, no, no no no -_ “V-very - slowly.” _What the hell was she doing?! Toying with him? How could this be happening right now?! God, she wasn’t going to -_

Cass stepped back, removing the glove sections almost lazily. The distinctive sound of dropped clothing rang out in the silence as they fell to the floor, and she saw a visible tremble pass through him. “Aren’t you going to watch?”

“I’m trying not to,” he answered through gritted teeth.

“Why not?” she asked as she willed the front to open, removing one section of the rock to ease the process.

He answered over the ringing sound of that piece hitting the floor. “This isn’t right. You aren’t supposed to _know about this_ …”

She stays silent, continuing her movements. _Slowly, slowly._ “There’s no point in not watching. You can probably see it all in your head anyway...why not see the real thing?”

He threw his head back. “I don’t know.” _I honestly don’t know._ “Cass, w-why? Why are you _doing this?! _”

She considers ignoring his question as she fiddles with the material. As she finally manages to get the top to open, she responds. “To show you exactly what you want, of course. Maybe then, once your - _desires_ are filled, you’ll... _understand_ a bit more. How good it feels to _give in_ to them, to get what you want. Feel free to watch, Varian...this is all for you, after all.” She bares her chest and begins to pull her arms out one by one.

At every movement, Varian’s mind pictured what was happening on the other side of his eyelids. He’d imagined it _hundreds,_ if not _thousands of times_ , and the sound of clothing leaving her body...his dick twitched, even more interested now than it had been from the kiss. He hadn’t known exactly how this new, dark clothing of hers was assembled - _hadn’t Eugene said it was made out of the rocks?_ Given his exceptionally over-active imagination, he could picture it all crystal clear either way. Her breasts would be bare now, her top half nearly exposed as her second arm slid out, her skin glowing in the candlelight as her hands made their way to her hips...his eyelids fluttered, the curiosity striking him hard as his dick twitched again. Forcing them to stay closed, he bit the inside of his cheek. The pain helped him to focus elsewhere.

“You’re going to miss the second half if you don’t look,” she said teasingly. His eyes opened automatically at the sound of her voice, and there was no way he could pry them away now.

Her hands cupped her breasts, blocking them from view as his eyes opened. _Ah, I’ll have to move carefully now_ , Cass thought as her eyes met his. She could play this game easily - it used to be one of Eugene’s favourites. Holding his eyes with hers while he watched, entranced, she began to sway on the spot - she looked downwards, assuming his eyes would follow hers. Turning around, she hooked her fingers into the material and pulled it down, revealing her bottom half inch by inch. Bending as she reached her thighs, she showed off her ass - her favourite feature on her body. The forceful exhalation from Varian’s nose let her know that he appreciated it as well. _Slowly, slowly_...she removed the body suit from her legs, one side at a time. Standing straight, she wraps her arms around herself, stroking her skin, making sure to dig her fingers in now and again. Continuing until his breath quickened just enough, she started to turn.

Varian’s jaw dropped as her body whirled to face him. He didn’t want to look, he knew he _shouldn’t_ , but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from her - creamy, soft-looking skin, perky breasts over a toned stomach, a beautiful tuft of rich, black hair covering her -

 _Snap out of it! _ “Cassandra, this is wrong. Please…”

“Don’t you like the view?” She shot him a half-smile - judging by the much larger tent she saw in his pants, she knew the answer already.

“ **Yes** ,” he nearly yelled, panic building all the quicker. “Just not - _not like this_ -”

“Is my body what you imagined?”

“It’s - much better. I never knew for sure - what to picture,” he replied, throwing his head back in frustration. He’d been close in his estimations, but having her in front of him now - nothing could compare. _Nothing would ever compare_ \- she was far more - _beautiful, stunning,_ _perfect_ \- than his mind could have ever comprehended previously. Try as he might to make himself look away, his eyes never left her. She smiled her ( _mind-altering,_ _dazzling_ ) smile as she drew closer to him, running her fingers slowly over herself as he watched, thoroughly and disgustingly aroused. She stopped two steps away as he continued to drink it in.

“What do I do next?”

“K-kiss me,” he replied shortly, eyes closing in a pained expression.

She closed the distance between them quickly, eager to meet his lips again. For good measure, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling herself close enough to feel his erratic heartbeat. One hand entwined in his hair; he let out a choked gasp as she kissed him once again.

He didn’t want this, he didn’t, _he didn’t_ , but his lips began to move automatically against hers just like in his fantasies. His hands strained against the unmoving rocks, wanting so badly to wrap around her, to touch her milky skin and see if it was as soft as he’d always imagined...he could hardly believe she was here, like this, in front of him, kissing him, _wanting_ him…his dick pulsed, already hard enough to be painful. _Wouldn’t it be easier to just let it…_

He pulled back sharply. “Cass, _stop_. Please, this isn’t _right_ -” Her arms let go, and his body screamed in protest. His eyes opened to find her studying him, and he wasn’t sure what he saw in her gaze. Could it be...confusion?

 _What am I doing wrong here? I_ _thought this was what he wanted? Maybe I need more clarification._

“What do I do next?”

“S-strip me,” he answered, a look of self-loathing in his eyes.

“Starting with what?”

“The top half. Cass, _don’t_ -”

 _Why won’t you stop pretending this_ _i sn’t what you want? _ She moved forward, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as her fingers slipped beneath the band of his goggles - the very same ones from the first time she’d met him, if she wasn’t mistaken. “Do these stay on or come off?”

“O-off,” he replied shakily. “They come off in…”

“In this one?” she finished his sentence, smiling widely.

“Yes.” _Fuck, why had he added that on?!_

Winking at him, she pulled them from his head in one smooth motion, toying with the strap between her fingers.

“Be-be careful with those! Please, they’re -”

“Delicate. I know. I’ll be careful, with them...and with you.” 

_The look on his face was priceless._ He let out something halfway between a moan and a yelp. “Cass, _no,_ we _sh-sh-shouldn’t_ -”

“Mmm, I disagree. Of course we should. And if you really didn’t want this...well, I don’t think you would have pictured it so clearly.” He looks positively flabbergasted at that, uttering no response but a sharp huff of air as he closed his eyes once again. Smiling, she turned, setting the goggles down carefully, bending far more than she needed to - when she turned back, his eyes have flown open once again, and he is watching her. Nervously, but she can see the ravenous look lurking just below that. _Good_. “By the way, what am I doing while I strip you?”

He gritted his teeth. _How had she known to ask that?_ “K-kissing my body when each area is...revealed.” As she drew closer, he pleaded once again. “Cass, this shouldn’t be - happening like this, _please don’t_ -”

Her hands falter slightly before they reach up, running over his shoulders. Her eyes met his for a moment, and despite his words, the arousal in them...there was no way he could mask it. _This was_ _Rapunzel’s_ _fault, of course - only she would be able to teach Varian to deny himself to this extent._ Keeping the sneer from her face, she moves slowly, burrowing her mouth into his neck to take her first taste of his skin.

He gasped at the new sensation of her lips on his neck - his body vibrated as her hands ran over his torso, unbuttoning his vest painstakingly slowly. Her lips began to suck to the left of his Adams’ apple then, and damn, _it felt so much better than he could have possibly dreamed_. The vest fell, still held up by the rocks but off his body, and her hands moved to pull off his gloves. Her lips left his neck, and he found himself missing their contact ( _why?!_ ) until they wrapped around his trapped fingers and she began to suck. _Fuck._ That hadn’t been in his daydream, but the suggestiveness of her movements, the skill with her tongue - his erection rubbed painfully against his trousers, demanding contact with this beautiful, perfect woman…

Almost as if on cue, she pulled away and burrowed back into his neck, hands running over his still-covered torso. She moved up and began to suck on his earlobe before pulling away slightly. “Your shirt comes next,” she said breathily, sending a shiver down his spine. “Right?”

“Yes,” he replied automatically. _And paused._ “I mean, no! Pl-”

Too late. She’d already began to unbutton it - her hand ran over each and every patch of skin as it was exposed. Marvelling at how smooth it was, and mildly impressed with the slight muscles she could feel along his stomach, Cass smiled as she unpops the last button. One finger lingering along his belt - _no, it was too soon for that._ She had to finish the rest of him first...fiddling slightly with the collar, she pushes the shirt down slowly off his shoulders. 

She didn’t want to rub him too much too soon, but her own skin was desperate to feel his - being careful to avoid his erection, she indulged. Wrapping her arms around his partially exposed body, she rubbed her breasts along his torso as her mouth moved down, kissing and licking every bit she could find. Her hands massaged his shoulders and back as she moved, taking in his chest, his stomach, running up his sides - his breath became more and more labored as her lips drew closer to their destination.

 _Fuck, how did she know how to do this so perfectly?_ That was Cass, he supposed - she’d always been perfect. As her mouth drew closer to his nipple, his body pulsed in anticipation and, _Jesus Christ, it screamed_ when she finally encased it with her mouth. His deep breaths quickly transformed into fucking _panting_ , and he tried as best he could to keep the moans down, but they escaped far more frequently than not, and he couldn’t help it, _he couldn’t…_

As Cass began to pull away from the first nub, his body moved forward automatically, wanting the contact to continue. Smiling broadly, she works her tongue across his chest, licking circles around the other. On and on she went, fingers rubbing the one she’d already sucked, never quite getting close enough...she looked upwards to find him watching her, the war in his eyes between pleading her to stop and begging her to _just do it already_. Eventually, instead of words, he let out a small sigh of defeat before he moved his nipple into her mouth.

He knew she was testing him, and he _tried so hard to resist_ , but he just **couldn’t.** His body begged him...his ears burned, his heart beat a mile a minute, and his dick...fuck, _it hurt so badly._ It throbbed angrily as she sucked his nipple, demanding it be the focus, but _he couldn’t let it go that fa r!_ Her mouth pulled away ( _a_ _lready?!)_ and she moved to stand in front of him once again.

“What do I do next?”

“T-take off my b-b-belt...and a-apron,” He bites his lip, hard. “C-Cass, please, _please_ be careful with the belt, there’s -”

“Don’t worry, Varian. I know you store some things on here,” she said, sounding - almost tender. She cheated a little by removing the apron quickly before her focus went to the buckles. She unclasped it slowly, removing it gently from his waist. Ensuring it stayed facing upwards so as not to spill the lightly jingling items hanging from it, she brought it over to lay beside his goggles. _O_ _nly so much clothing left,_ she smiled to herself. As she returned, she kissed lightly along his torso, knees bending as she reached his stomach. 

_She’d - she’d sounded so gentle, reassuring. This was... so confusing...her lips felt so, so wonderful as they grazed over his skin, sending shivers in so many places he _ _didn’t even know he had_...she moved down, down, down, before coming to a rest on her knees. _Oh God, her face was_ _so close to it_... He dreaded the words she was going to speak before she uttered them.

“What next?”

“You take off my - t-trousers,” he replied, face flushing deeply.

There was - _something_ , there in his eyes, that tipped her off. “How?”

“W-with your t-teeth,” he choked, tears nearly rising to the surface. “Cass, _listen to me!_ I don’t want -”

“This is your fantasy, Varian. I’m pretty sure it’s exactly what you want. Do the boots stay on?”

" _Y_ _es_.”

She began working the top button with her teeth - when her chin accidentally grazed his penis, he absolutely _trembled_. Cass smiled as she maneuvered her chin to continue rubbing against him while she worked - he gasped loudly, screwing his eyes shut. Her teeth popped the button open eventually, and she moved down to his zipper - much easier than the button, it came down without a fight. Using her hands as well, now, she pulls the layer down to his ankles. Fighting her impatience to rip that last bit of fabric from him, she turned her face upwards.

“What next?”

“You r-rub me through my boxers while you p-pull them off.” _He wasn’t going to cry,_ **_he wasn’t_ ** _\- not from fear, and not from the desperate desire that flamed across every inch of his skin…_ As her hand wrapped around him over the fabric, the teasing strokes nearly made him come immediately - he’d never been touched by anyone but himself before. His gasps were nearing screams already, he was so _fucking weak_ …

Cass was pleasantly surprised. Judging by her grasp through the boxers, he was much bigger than she’d expected - she’d momentarily forgotten about his virginity, though, and her first strokes had been much better suited for Eug - um, a seasoned pro. She slowed down, loosening her grip - it would ruin the whole plan if he came too soon. Hardly stroking now, she lowers the back of the boxers first, gripping firmly along each cheek as she went - the poor kid nearly hyperventilated when she did. She worked her groping fingers forward, removing the fabric slowly - smiling wickedly, she leaned forward to lick just above his pubic hair. His body jolted, eyes flying open as he looked down. Once he was looking, she pulled the boxers down the rest of the way.

_So embarrassing. God, she was going to laugh at him. **No, he wasn't ready for someone else to see his…**_

She studied the throbbing member in front of her, closely but quickly. Seven inches, just above average, but _damn, the thickness_...she could feel him inside her already, and her body responded as such. She was so wet now, nearly ready to abandon what she knew he’d tell her next, but _no Cassandra, keep going, we’re almost there_...she looked back up at him, finding him watching her, looking completely ashamed.

“What’s wrong?” A loaded question, she knew, but it was a good time to check in, see if this was working as intended.

 _You don’t need to - tell her, Varian, don’t _ \- “I’m worried I’m - not - _big_ \- enough,” he replied after several moments of internal struggle. The tears he’d been fighting back sheened in his eyes.

She wasn’t expecting - that. “You haven’t seen others before, have you?” she asked gently.

“No...” It almost felt - normal, like it wasn’t a forced response. _But it was._ _It was_.

Not wanting to sound condescending, she decided against an encouraging tone. Rather, she willed her voice to sound matter-of-fact and honest (considering she believed every word she was about to speak, she hoped it came across as such).“You’re pretty...well-endowed, Varian. You’re bigger than a lot of the ones I’ve seen. Especially the thickness.”

Fucking hell, he wasn’t a _child_. He knew he wasn’t...“You don’t need to - _lie_ , Cassandra.”

“I’m not,” she answered simply. The look of surprise on his face was so - _genuine. Adorable._ She wanted to commend it by reaching out, stroking the erection in front of her, but she held herself back - she wanted to assure him by standing up, holding him, cradling his head against her chest, but she held back from that, too. _Back to business, Cassandra._ “What do I do next?”

 **_Fuck._ ** _No...why?! Not - not that, please -_ “You - t-tell me - I’m - b-bigger than Flynn Rider,” he choked out, a single tear falling down his cheek. _You’re such an idiot,_ _what the hell is_ **_wrong with you?!_ **

He certainly had some sort of - _complex_ \- with that man. She wondered briefly whether he was referring to the character from the books he adored, or the handsome rogue they both knew... _it was more fun for her if she went with the latter_. “That one’s easy, because it’s true. You’re bigger than Euge- Flynn Rider,” she said agreeably. She’d heard stranger fantasies...most of which came from Eugene, himself. She didn’t mind at all.

What she did mind, though, was when Varian burst into tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there we have it...
> 
> I, the author, am so sorry for hurting you like this, Varian.
> 
> It gets better - I promise.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed!


	3. Will or Won't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra recognizes her mistake. Varian is offered a difficult choice.

_So weak, so fucking weak,_ he‘d told himself he wasn’t going to cry, but it was all too much. His dream girl, the one he’d been so infatuated with since he’d first laid eyes on her - what man wouldn’t want this? He wasn’t a man, he supposed - how could he be, when he had the woman he was in love with _right in front of him,_ willing to do _absolutely anything he asked for,_ and _he didn’t want it?_ Well, no, he wanted it...his body did, hell, even his mind did, even though he knew it was wrong...he craved it, needed it so badly, but. _Not. Like. This._

Alarmed, Cass stood up quickly. She watched for a moment as the tears poured from him, his face red with embarrassment and body slumping downwards. _Fuck._ The ghost had been wrong. She knew it, deep down - but she wanted so badly for this to be right, she had gone along with it anyway. Approaching him now, she gave in to her previous urge and wrapped her arms around his back, taking care not to rub his penis again. She’d fully expected him to pull away, was actually shocked when he did the opposite. He pushed himself against her, leaning into the touch like he _needed_ it - she moved closer, and he burrowed into her neck, crying even more.

“ _Shhh,_ it’s okay, don’t worry,” she murmured comfortingly, one hand coming up to stroke his head. He wailed all the harder, so she continued her murmurs, letting him get it all out before she could find out what had gone wrong.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry -'' he didn’t even know why he was apologizing. She was the one who’d taken him, fucking _kidnapped_ him and _drugged_ him with his own Truth Serum, she was the one who’d _restrained_ him and - and - made him tell her exactly what _he’d_ fantasized about - a new bout of tears burst from him, and she squeezed her arms all the tighter, and _why the fuck was she **comforting** him?_ This would be so much - easier - if she’d just...get on with it, have - her _way_ with him, if she wasn’t trying so fucking hard to make sure this was what he, **_he_** wanted…

Now was not the time to use the Truth Serum against him, she decided. As his sobs quietened, she kept a hand on his side as she crouched down, rummaged through the pockets of his lowered trousers and pulled out a handkerchief. About to hand it to him, she was reminded of his restraints - instead, she stood up again, cupping his face with one hand as she dabbed away the tears, wiping his mouth and nose for good measure. She feels the familiar queasiness rolling in her stomach - talking about feelings always triggered it. Still...he needed it, and she’d push through. They weren’t really her feelings they needed to discuss, after all.

“There we go. Does - that seems better,” she said. Fuck, she’d need to avoid any questions as best as she could. Varian was sharp, too - he’d noticed her change her sentence, shot her an analytical glance as he stood a little straighter. “I didn’t realize - I thought you wanted this.”

“It’s not - _that._ I’ve...I've always wanted you, Cass I just...” he pulled against his restraints. “It feels really bad when I’m tied up like this, and I wasn’t - _r-ready_...” He began to cry again, quietly this time.

She hugged him as the tears fell, and he leaned into it so heavily - she was confused. How was he so upset with what they were about to do, but so readily embracing her comfort? Perplexed, she kept up her gentle murmurs. “ _Shhh._ It’s okay, it’s okay.”

_It wasn’t okay. What the fuck was wrong with him?_

She stroked his hair again. “Shhh. What would - I want to make this better for you. If you want to keep going.” He looked up at her, so young, so innocent...she wasn’t such a monster that she’d continue if he didn’t want it. She _wasn’t_ a monster. Was she?

Here it was. She was giving him an out, and Varian could take it - she would stop, right now, if he asked her to. When he looked up at her, he saw an uncharacteristic tenderness on her face; well, he’d been told in the past that it was uncharacteristic, anyway. Eugene was always mouthing off about Cassandra, which had only increased tenfold since she’d left...but, if Varian was honest with himself...he’d always seen a different side of her than others had. She’d always been - _softer,_ in a way, with him. More comforting...gentle...kind...it had always made him feel special. Not that he’d ever thought something like _this_ would ever happen...his body became hyper aware of her soft, bare skin against his, and his dick - tired of being ignored, it twitched once again, angry at him for even _considering_ ignoring it…

“Please, just - let me go,” he begged. “I don’t like - the rocks on me, they feel like you’re - _f-f-f-forcing me..._ ” His eyes filled with tears again, and he tried his hardest not to let them fall. That was what it really came down to, after all - if this had happened in any other way, he’d be over the moon. Truly, he couldn’t understand how this could be happening regardless, how _Cassandra, of all people,_ would ever give him the time of day...but with the restraints taking away his choice to engage, it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter what he wanted, or what he fantasized - it would all be overshadowed by the fact that she wouldn’t stop when he asked her to.

 **Oh.** She looked at him guiltily as she let go of him, pulling back several steps while considering her options quickly. The first, continuing as they had been, was a no-go, of course. She’d remove the rocks either way. However...her body was worked up now, wanting to be penetrated. And, judging by his continued hardness, he was begging for release in more ways than one…

“Of course. I shouldn’t have...anyway.” She flicks her finger swiftly, freeing his arms. The kid’s first move was to crouch down, pulling his bottom layers up to cover himself - she saw the heavy look of relief beneath the tears. She hadn’t meant to - force him. She thought that, since they were his own directions, it would be okay. _Good? Great, even._ Now that she was thinking with her head instead of her body, though - she could fully understand how wrong she had been about that. 

“Varian...I didn’t mean to f-force you. I’m...sorry,” she said ashamedly, eyes lingering on the floor before she made herself look into his. She couldn’t quite place what was going on in them; the queasiness roiled all the harder. Taking a deep breath, she continued. “There are two options I can see, unless you can think of something else. Option one - we stop right now. If that’s what you want, that’s exactly what we’ll do - no questions asked. We get dressed, and go forward with...I don’t know, something else. Option two is...continuing. You’d be unrestrained, and we can keep…” she bit her lip, glancing down at his still-very-obvious erection - it was impossible to hide, even with two layers covering it.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck. After all that? No, no, he couldn’t - this was so - blemished now. He couldn’t possibly allow this to continue, not after -_

“I’m going to have to ask you a question. If that’s okay. When you’re ready,” she states slowly, looking into his eyes. His answer would be no, of course - she was only going to ask to confirm that. Not without his consent, though. She stayed silent, waiting for him to respond.

 _Oh, God, he wasn’t - what should he do?!_ His mind was at war with his body, rationality battling physical desire as hard as it could - being beaten back as his imagination turned against him, picturing every single fantasy he’d ever had of her, _his Cass,_ in high definition… he nodded at her request. Shame coursed through him as he acknowledged his answer, before she even asked it.

“What do you want to do?”

“I want - I want to keep going,” he said unsteadily, face flushing. The Truth Serum had forced him to admit what he’d been trying so hard to deny - his years of yearning could not be deterred, not even in this case. _If that makes me pathetic, so be it - I’ll never get another shot like this, with her, again._

She could hardly believe her ears. He still - _wanted_ this? Even after seeing how _fucked up_ she was? “Okay,” she said as gently as possible - _God forbid he change his mind._ She smiled softly at him. “There’s one more thing.” She let go of him, reaching for his water cup. Bringing it back to her throne, she refilled it. Turning back to him now, he saw one hand around his cup and one around a clear bottle...filled with a very familiar liquid.

She began adding purple drops of Truth Serum into the cup, in full view so he would see how much she was adding. _One, two._ She looks up at him, studying his body. _Three, four._ His mouth drops open. _Five._ Sealing the bottle, she put it back before walking towards him slowly, giving him time to think.

“W-why?” he asked, voice cracking. _What could she possibly need that for?_

“My caveat. You need to drink this if we’re going to continue.” _If he took it himself, she’d know it was truly what he wanted - not something she’d forced on him._

She stood in front of him, naked and vulnerable - pushing away thoughts of how weak she must look right now, she handed him the cup. He took it cautiously, eyes flicking between it and her repeatedly.

“Why do you want me to - _do this?_ ” he asked again, wishing desperately that he didn’t sound so - _aggrieved._

“I want it to be perfect,” she replied soberly. Needed it to be, actually, if she wanted her plan to work - p _erforming his fantasies, play-by-play, so perfectly that she could convince him to stay...here, with her…_ It’s not like she could tell him about that, though. “It’ll be easier for me to know what you want if you take that, and -”

“There’s so much, though. Cass, that’s **_over six hours…_** ”

“I know.” She smiled at him, watching his face convert into shock as he realized the implications. Followed immediately by a _(slightly distraught)_ look of intrigue.

 _This was crazy, this was insane, how could she be asking him to **drug himself?**_ It wasn’t like she was knocking him unconscious, but it was a drug nonetheless, one that he wouldn't be able to counter, and she could ask him _absolutely anything_ in that time and he’d _have_ to answer…this couldn’t be worth it. Couldn’t be worth...his dream girl...the only _deep_ feelings he’d ever felt for another person... _his Cass..._

Standing in front of him, she watched him deliberate as her body throbbed in anticipation. Giving him a few moments, she saw his internal struggle written clearly across his face. She understood the severity of her request - and he wasn’t stupid. He knew as well as she did how potentially damaging this choice could be - but it was his choice, this time. As the seconds ticked by in silence, he appeared no closer to an answer than he had been at the start. _Maybe he needed...just a little push._ He jolted slightly as she moved forward, shaken from his thoughts as she closed the distance between them. Slowly, cautiously, she wrapped her arms around him, pulling their bodies flush together as he tried and failed to convince himself to pull away from her touch - leaning into it, instead. “Varian...”

 _Her whisper may as well have been a shout - saying his name like that - he’d never thought he’d hear it, not in a million years._ The longing, the desperation, the craving for him, _him_ of all people. “Cassandra,” he breathed back, hearing the very same yearning in his own voice. _All he could feel was her touch, all he could breathe was her scent, all he could see was her glorious, flawless form, her unclad shoulders so vivid against his darker skin as she buried her face in his neck, her breath raising goosebumps on his flesh…_

At some point, his grip on the cup had tightened. Breathing deeply, he closed his eyes for a moment in a poor attempt to clear his thoughts. Unable to escape her - _then again, had he ever escaped her? Had he not cried for her, night after night, for months, since the day he’d discovered she’d left? Had he not dreamt of her, both awake and asleep, since the moment that he’d first laid eyes on her? Had he not written and rewritten the words he would use to confess the truth, determined to perfect them before he’d ever utter them aloud? _

_**Reason be damned.** For her, he would do anything._ Swiftly, he moved the cup to his lips, downing it as she began to suck on his neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pining/doting Varian is one of my favourite things to write! You can definitely expect more in later chapters ;)


	4. Concession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra proceeds with the first step of her plan...this time, Varian is a willing participant.

He threw himself into it far more quickly than Cass had thought he would - she had expected much more of a warm-up time. His hands ran over her back so surely, the perfect amount of pressure to make her skin burn with desire. As he explored her body (rather shyly, truth be told), she murmured softly to him, gently encouraging his movements. As impatient as she felt, her first priority right now was to allow him as many indulgences as he desired - unrestrained, this was what he had truly wanted, and she was determined to give that to him.

She felt just as soft as he’d imagined. Her skin was so smooth where her armour covered, muscles tight and hard when she flexed. He marvelled at how she, _his Cass,_ could be such a deadly force while being this soft inside. Plucking his courage, his hands made their way to grip her ass, and _God,_ her moan when he did so nearly made him moan himself, _it was so perfect…_

He wasn’t brave enough to approach the pelvis, not yet, but that was okay. As his hands wandered to the front, she responded loudly to him, wanting to encourage more contact - her moans when he began fondling her breasts, on the other hand, were completely instinctive. His face broke into absolute ecstasy, and if this was his reaction to heavy petting, _dear God,_ was he in for a long night. She wanted her own release so badly, wanted to shove him against the wall and have him _in her already,_ but she held back. Instead, she began kissing down his body again, giving some slight attention to his nipples before she moved down to her knees.

She looked up at him again, and _fuck,_ she was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen - the fire in her eyes nearly scorched him. But still, the fear at the back of his mind made him back away a few steps until his back hit the wall. Not relenting, she followed, crawling towards him _on her fucking knees...so scary, what if he was sweaty or tasted awful or... _Suddenly, she was mimicking her exact actions from earlier, groping him through the recently donned boxers. His dick throbbed _much_ harder than before, which he didn’t even know was _possible._ His knees gave slightly, causing him to lean all the further into her grasp as he choked out a yelp.

She looked up at him, noting the fear that remained in his eyes. She could - understand, she supposed. This was far from the typical way one would expect to lose their chastity. No matter - it would be hers. Varian’s virginity belonged to her. _Belonged to her?_ Where had that thought come from? How long ago had she decided that? It felt as if it had been months, if not years...every interaction leading to this point. And yet she had been blissfully unaware of it until this exact moment.

 _Not the time to look at that now. Back to business, Cassandra._ She diverted from the path he’d described before, giving in to her earlier desire, yanking the material out of the way quickly. Afraid that he’d cry again, she placed a hand around his bare cock, squeezing gently, hoping to distract him…

_Jesus Christ, it felt so good, oh God, **don’t come yet** , Varian, hold it back, **please** \- _

"Do you want me to keep going?" she asked. _B_ _etter safe than sorry._

 _"_ **Y-yes, _please_...f-f-fuck."**

_Now, that's the kind of begging I'm used to. _ “What do I do next?”

“S-s-suck me.”

“I need you to describe it. In detail. Every person is different. How?” She smiled up at him, knowing he’d have to tell her, but hoping he’d give her more than the bare minimal answers now that he had taken the Serum himself.

He closed his eyes to focus his thoughts. “You take me in your mouth, pretending to focus on the head, swirling your tongue around it twice before you shove your head forward, taking...taking it all. You bite down slightly when it reaches your throat, just once, and you pull all the way back to the very tip...every time, until I c-come. Then…” _Shit._ He stops, looking down at her, not wanting to tell her that last bit, _please don’t ask…_

“Then what?”

“You h-hold it in your mouth, stand up and m-make me swallow it,” he said, flushing shamefully. “We don’t - we don’t have to do that part, it’s -”

She smiles up at him. “Sounds pretty hot to me… I’ll do it if you want me to.” The confused embarrassment on his face is _fucking precious_ as he looks away. After a few moments, she grabs at his hips, massaging them as he trembles. Waiting for his eyes to join hers, she cocks an eyebrow for his answer - he nods mutely, unable to form the words, but that was good enough for her. _Show time._ She bites her lip alluringly. “You’re bigger than Flynn Rider.”

She gets to work immediately as he gasps at her comment, keeping her eyes locked with his as she begins doing exactly as he described. As her tongue flicked his slit, she smiled at the way his eyes rolled back in his head before her focus shifted downwards. He was lucky she’d done this a lot before - asking someone to deepthroat off the bat wouldn’t necessarily be realistic for someone else, but she was...practiced. Knowing he wouldn’t last long, she moved quickly.

 _She - she fucking said it._ It was all he could manage to not fall over. Her mouth was so warm, so deep, this was _so much more than he’d imagined!_ His dick hit the back of her throat and she fucking - **_hummed_** or something, and the vibrations just - **_fuck, he wasn’t going to last..._** His hands entwined in her hair, he’d bypassed the moans for screams as soon as she had taken him in. “I’m s-sorry! I’m -” 

He couldn’t even get out the warning before he was exploding in her mouth, but she was expecting it. _It only took, what, five bobs of her head?_ She smiled around his cock - the first time was always quick. The plus side was, he’d be going **_many_** more times tonight...this was far from the end. As she sucked him through his first orgasm, watching the beautiful shape of his mouth screaming her name, she was happy to taste the sweetness she found mixed in with the salt - she’d been expecting his semen to be much more bitter. It made it - actually quite pleasant, to gather his come in her mouth, making sure not to spill a drop (a difficult task, given how much there was). Once she was sure he was done, she rose quickly, a hand cupping around his face.

He opened his mouth immediately at her touch, hardly able to believe she was doing this. He nearly choked at the consistency of his semen as she poured it in - he’d tasted himself before, out of curiosity, but this was different. The amount was - _insane, how had he produced that much?_ Her tongue slipped into his mouth when she’d pushed the last of it in and began swirling the fluid around - _holy fuck, that was hot._ Even though he’d just blown his load (and a sizable one at that), his dick perked up again hopefully. As she pulled back from the kiss, he swallowed it down, coughing slightly at the texture falling down his throat. She continued to pull her face away and he followed automatically, _wanting so badly to just kiss her again…_

She relented, arms wrapping around his body as their lips met again. Unafraid of his reaction now, given that she’d just given him his first blowjob _(which must have been amazing, she thought smugly)_ , she encased his dick with her hand, fondling it back to an erection, pleasantly thrilled at _just how easy it was._ He moaned into her mouth as she did so. Pulling away, he panted for air.

“Follow me,” she ordered confidently, pulling on his dick slightly to get him moving. He flinched a little at her grip, more from surprise than pain, before stepping forward. When she let go of it, he stopped hastily. _He’d nearly forgotten_ \- he bent quickly to pick up his dropped clothes. When exactly the bottoms had fallen to the floor, he wasn’t sure - which confused him, considering he would have had to kick his boots off.

Cass’ voice sounded sharp. “Leave them.”

He looked up, confused. “What if -”

 _ **“Leave them,”**_ she said firmly, holding out a hand expectantly. Nodding in compliance, he grabbed her hand without a second thought. _Good - that’s a good sign._ She made her way forward once again with Varian in tow. She squeezed his hand reassuringly as she led him through the room, turning up an unknown staircase. Throwing a glance back at him, she saw no worry or doubt on his face, which brought a genuine grin to hers. He caught the look and smiled broadly back at her, eyes filled with euphoria.

Despite not knowing where they were going… or rather, not caring, he followed her eagerly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOT DAMN, Confident Cass is FIRE and is cocky for good reason.
> 
> There is a super awesome thread in comments of this chapter about a Nun/Demon arc! Feel free to read (in fact I urge you to do so!) but I will not be approving more comments on this post as I’d like to keep the focus on the story. ❤️


	5. You're Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra teaches Varian more about indulgence, and chases her own in the process.
> 
> Varian's entire world is shifting internally with the new experiences; the Goddess before him is far more perfect than he could have ever dreamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The smuttiest chapter I've got planned so far!
> 
> @NotInterestingPerson, your idea filled in a blank I had just perfectly ;)
> 
> Kudos and comments appreciated, as always! Y'all are amazing.

She’d made him come three more times before he begged her to stop.

“Please… I can’t, _I can’t_ do it again. Please, it’s - t-t-too much, it _hurts…_ ” he pleaded, grabbing her hands to halt her from gripping his cock. She’d given him breaks in between, of course, filled with cuddling and praise - they’d just finished a rather long session of it, and she was eager to get him going again.

“ _Shhh._ Come on, Varian,” she said comfortingly, one hand moving to cup his face. His eyes closed as he leaned against it - his face was quite hot, she realized. She’d tried to keep him hydrated, but the kitchen was too far to be convenient - she’d have to rethink the layout of this place. She could bring a jug of water in here, she supposed… if she remembered. “One more, and we can go get you more water again. Come on.”

He groaned out quietly, shaking his head - she looked down, inspecting his penis to see if there was a burn mark from the friction. None that she could see - not from this distance, anyway. Biting her lip, she looked into his face - they didn’t have much time. A mere three hours left, and that was assuming Rapunzel didn’t show up before the Serum wore off… _he could handle it._ Decided, she kissed him gently before saying, “One more. Okay?”

“Okay, okay, _one more,_ ” he agreed (a little reluctantly, under Truth Serum) - despite the hurt, he let go of her hand, allowing it to continue its path. Instead, she linked her fingers around his, holding it as she began to move her body downwards. She wanted a better look, and in case it was there… she didn’t want to damage him, so she’d suck him into an erection again. She was sure he'd respond to her touch regardless, but the moisture should help alleviate the pain, letting him enjoy this round just as much as the previous ones.

As she came to a rest between his legs, she looked closely - no burn. _Not yet, anyway… she’d have to be careful._ Looking up at him, her face lined up perfectly, she waited for his eyes to meet hers. “I want you to watch.” His eyes are glazed over slightly, tired, and she wanted him to be alert. He nodded his consent. “Wonderful. You’re doing _so well,_ Varian. One more thing - can you tell me about which ones we’ve done so far?”

The praise brought a smile to his lips. “Yes, of course. There was… the one where you stripped me in the throne room...” He didn’t go into detail, which was fair considering the - rough start they’d had. Cass would allow that. “Then, you brought me here -” he gestured around what would be the bedroom, eventually. Unfortunately, there was no mattress - if Cass had had even an inkling things were going to go this way, she would have been sure to store one close by for when she’d made the tower. _Ah, well._ She’d made up the bed as best as she could with the mats and blankets from her camp supplies while he was unconscious earlier - not ideal, but softer than laying directly on the rocks that made up the luxurious base.

“Keep going,” she said, head moving down while he watched as she’d requested. “Lots of details. Don’t forget.” She felt a deep tingle in the pit of her stomach; _it turned her on immensely, hearing him describe his experience so far._

“Okay, okay - you brought me here, and you asked me for one with you on t-top,” he stuttered as her mouth wrapped around him gently. “And I told you that almost all of them are th-that way, so you asked which one I wanted to try first.” She massaged his head with her tongue, moving at a leisurely pace - she didn’t mind taking her time for this.

“I thought about which one you’d like best, and d-decided it would probably be the one where you ride me until I c-come twice.” He was starting to harden now - she knew the focus on recent memories would help with that. She began to add a bob of her head now and then as her tongue continued massaging. “You laughed, said it sounded great, and made me tell you - _exactly_ how fast to go. You said my dick was p-perfect for it while you rode me, and you looked s-so fucking beautiful. I couldn’t take my eyes off you for even a second.” He looked mildly embarrassed at that, which faded when Cass gave him a particularly deep bob of her head in appreciation - he shuddered as he gasped lightly.

“You started moaning even louder than I was when you found the right angle, and I could hardly handle it - I c-came not too long after, and you stared down at me, smiling while you continued moving. I started getting overwhelmed from how - amazing it felt, and then it started to hurt. I almost started crying. You slowed down, leaned forward and kissed me a bunch of times, whispering after each kiss that I could do it... you said that the whole time, until I was fully h-hard again. You told me I wasn’t -” he gasped again as she plunged down quickly, finally coaxing him into a full erection. “ - wasn’t allowed to come again, not until you did. You found your s-spot, really quickly this time, and you _f-fuck,_ you pumped so hard then, you looked so _beautiful_ when your focus was just on y-yourself - I didn’t know how to h-help you _get_ there, so I tried thrusting and y-you fucking _screamed_ from how good it felt. I nearly came right then, but I managed to hold off until y-you finished yours.”

Satisfied with how stiff he’d gotten, Cass gave him one last lick along his slit as her mouth unwrapped itself - his body jerked upwards slightly as she pulled away, following her, wanting her to continue. Instead, she pulled herself up, wrapped herself around him and began stroking his body everywhere she could reach. She pulled his arm around, making him turn his body to hers as she threw a leg up, his erection nestled between her thighs as she kissed him. He responded eagerly, hands stroking along her upper body as he moaned into her mouth - she pulled back, moving to his ear. “Keep going. What happened next?” she whispered into it before tilting her head, licking along his Adam’s apple.

“You took me to get water and some food, said it was to keep my s-stamina up,” he replied. His eyes closed as he tried to focus on the recollection instead of her. She smiled into his neck as she began to suck - _good luck with that._ “Umm, _aah_ \- when we finished eating, you s-spotted our clothes and m-my goggles, remembered - _agh!_ \- what I told you earlier. You asked what happened in that - that one, that fantasy, and I t-told you it was - _fuck_ -” her hands had moved to his nipples, tweaking them softly while her lips stayed on his neck. “ - one where you e-e-experiment on me, and I was too nervous to try - **AGH!** ”

She’d started squeezing her thighs together, applying just the right amount of pressure to his cock to _drive him wild._ Unable to control himself even a second longer, he abandoned his recap, choosing instead to focus on kissing every surface of her that he could find. Pausing for just a moment (much braver than he had been previously), she moaned as his lips found her nipple - he sucked experimentally, and she reacted loudly to encourage him. She pulled his hand to stimulate the other, pinching his own a little harder to show him what she wanted. Unused to it, he bit down slightly by accident, causing a yelp to escape her. His head pulled away immediately, concern written across his face. “I hurt you! I’m sorry -”

“It’s fine. I liked it,” she said gently, guiding his mouth back to her nipple. “You can bite more if you want.” He didn’t, though he did continue to suck her gently. _Ah, well - some things can only be learned with experience._ They continued for several minutes, Cassandra feeling her desire building in the pit of her stomach - the primary focus of things so far had been him, of course, but would it be so bad if she…

It was still _good._ She’d come twice with him which, honestly, was at least once more than she expected - that first one had felt _amazing_. Still, with that role play she’d been engaging with… being a good little sex machine, giving him exactly what he wanted… She’d treated him very well so far. _Four times well so far._ She deserved a treat, too, didn’t she?

_**Of course she did.** _

Her hand wrapped around his and she began pulling it downward.

The worry didn’t register until his hand rested on her pubic hair. Unlatching himself quickly, he looked up. “I-I-I haven’t done - that before, I don’t think -”

“Mm. But I do think. It’s time.”

“But I don’t - know _how…_ ” he bit his lip, nervous.

“You’ll never learn if you don’t try. Come on, Varian,” she said gently, stroking softly along the back of his hand. “You want to make me feel good, right?”

“Y-yes, _of course_ I do -”

“Good. I can show you how.”

He fell silent, staring intently at her neck. _God, she was amazing. She’d been doing so much for him… what if he wasn’t able to - get her there, like she deserved? This was all so new still..._

“It’s not going to bite, you know,” she joked softly, pulling him from his thoughts.

“I know. I just… I don’t want to get it wrong,” he admitted, self-doubt coursing through his veins as he looked into her face.

Despite the worry in them, his eyes stayed on hers, which was a lot of progress from where they’d begun. _He was starting to trust her, and that was exactly what she wanted._ “You’re a quick learner, so I’m pretty sure you won’t. Can I teach you?”

“Y-yes, I can… _try…_ ”

“Shhh. You’ll be fine. Don’t worry. We’ll start easily, okay?”

“Okay.”

She paused for a moment, considering how best to approach this. Used to being on top, and much preferring it that way, she wondered if she could just skip to - _no._ He was still new to this, so she’d have to try teaching the good old-fashioned way.

“Here -”

She cupped his hand, guiding the entire thing along her. “Look down. It’ll be easier if you can see what you’re doing. Okay?”

“O-okay.” He looked down nervously, watching as his hand encased her - she guided different fingers along the outside slowly, letting him map it out.

“How does it feel?”

“S-soft. Warm. T-tender.” He still looked nervous, but she could see a spark of curiosity behind his eyes - she smiled gently.

“Good. Now…” she extracted his pointer finger, guiding it slowly along her lips - his hand twitched, but his face had that investigative look she recognized from his work table. _Should’ve known he’d treat it like an alchemy experiment._ Giving him a minute to get used to the new feeling, she dragged the finger slowly, letting him feel every inch of her before she spoke again. “This area at the top, that’s where we’re focussing on right now,” she explained. “Can you feel that little divot?”

“Yes. What is it called?” he asked before he could stop himself. _It didn’t matter, dummy, terminology wasn’t exactly relevant here -_

 _Of course he wanted the technical terms. She should have known._ She answered, slowly and carefully. “It’s called the clitoris, and it’s a - pretty big deal. It feels really good when it’s stimulated. I can even orgasm from just that. Actually, technically speaking, it’s much easier for me to orgasm from that - the G-spot, that’s the one inside - It feels very different, really good in its own way, but because it’s inside, it can be harder to find.”

His eyes rounded slightly, bringing a fond smile to her face. There was something so - _invigorating_ about how innocent he was. She was happy she’d be able to teach him properly - after all, most men she’d encountered hadn’t even known about this key piece of female anatomy. Varian, at least, wouldn’t become someone who only cared about his own release with no regard for others.

“There are two separate functional pieces on your body that provide different types of sexual satisfaction. The G-spot, found inside, can be difficult to stimulate, given its placement, whereas the clitoris is easily accessible due to its external location… shit, sorry.” _Fuck, he’s rambling. Verbal processing was so much easier for him, but why the hell did he need to do it now?! He must sound like a moron, parroting information back like that -_

“Exactly,” she said gently, bringing a hand to stroke his blushing cheek. As much as she wanted to get going, it was much more important for him to understand; _he’d be much more comfortable that way, and better equipped to give her what she wanted._ “My body is different from yours, so it takes some getting used to. Don’t worry about it.”

“Oh… okay.” _She wasn’t - annoyed? God, she really was amazing, wasn’t she…_ “Umm… So how do I st-stimulate it?”

“Well, here -” she guided his finger downwards. “- this is where the lubricant comes out. You want to make sure you dip down for that enough so it doesn’t hurt. And then you kind of just -” she pulled it back and began rubbing his finger along her. She felt a slight thrill of pleasure run through her at the contact. 

She pulled her focus back to his face - the nervousness was slowly being replaced with concentration. He glanced up at her, looking for confirmation. She smiled softly at him. “Are you ready?”

“Y-yes.” His focus went back to his hand as he began to move it experimentally. He rubbed slowly up and down, and her body began to relax. Still on her side, she squeezed her legs together slightly; the new tightness moved his finger just so, eliciting a moan. _The thrilled look on his face was priceless._

“Go faster. Don’t forget to lubricate, “ she directed, which he followed immediately. Over time, his movements became more sure and steady, and her body responded - she’d begun to moan unintentionally loudly now. Just as she was about to suggest it, he looked up and asked, “Does it - feel better with a-another? Finger?”

She smiled widely at him. “Yes. Are you comfortable with that?”

“Yes.” He looked excited at the prospect. Looking back down, he added another, and with the added width, she really began to feel it. _This was so much better when she wasn’t just touching herself_ \- her legs began to tremble slightly.

“V-Varian - oh my God, you feel great - you’re doing it just right,” she moaned encouragingly. His eyes moved back to hers, face flushing with pride. Her fingers curled into his hair, pulling him in to kiss her as she began pumping against his hand, speaking against his lips. “Keep going - faster - _faster_ -” 

He did the best he could, but his fingers were getting stiff and sore. _Already?!_ Panicking slightly, he tried to swap them, but it was no use, they were fucking clenching from the pressure - _oh God, he knew he wouldn’t be able to get her off, she was going to be so disappointed in him..._

 _She needed more, needed it so badly, but his fingers were slowing down… No, nope. **Not happening.**_ Unthinkingly, chasing the desire that had built up so strongly, she shoved against him, laying him on his back.

_What - what was she -_

Pushing his hand away, she threw a leg over him, crawling up to sit across his chest.

“Can we try something new?” she asked quickly. _No time, no time for a long chat, it was **fading **-_

“Y-yeah, I think so? I’m… I’m sorry I couldn’t -”

“Shhh. It’s fine. Fingering is great foreplay,” she said, kindly but quickly. “I want you to use your tongue.”

 _Fuck, she was beautiful. Anything you want._ “O-okay, but how -”

“I’m going to sit on you,” she said, grinning excitedly. “I’m gonna ride your face - you focus your tongue on the clit as much as you can, and I’ll do the rest.”

“O-okay. But what if -”

“Tap my leg if you need a break, but I’m pretty - uh, good at this, so you probably won’t. I’m going to be grinding against you too, if that’s okay.”

 _Fucking hell. She was gonna **use him** \- use his mouth to pleasure herself. She was so **fucking hot.**_ His dick twitched, hard. “Okay. Just tap to get out?”

“Yes. Ready?”

“I’m ready.”

 _ **THANK GOD.**_ Not wanting to wait another second, she climbed up the rest of his body, turning when she reached his head to sit facing backwards. A split second of doubt crossed her mind, wondering if it was too much… until she saw the look on his face, resting between her knees. _Pure, 100% **arousal.** Just what she wanted._ “Take a deep breath,” she warned, lowering herself as he did so.

She started grinding as soon as his nose touched, in hot pursuit of that fading pleasure. His tongue is out, licking slowly, testing the waters - she moves back slightly, helping him find her clit. “Right there, honey. Perfect spot - lick harder.” He does so, and she grinds all the harder, right against his tongue - after a few moments, she stretches out her range, utilizing his nose and chin as she ruts against him. “Keep going - oh God, _that’s perfect._ Right there.”

 _Jesus Christ, she tasted amazing. He’d always wondered what she tasted like…_ She was grinding against him, using every inch that she needed, _he’d had no idea how **desperately he’d wanted her to do this** until it was happening…_ She was right, too - she was great at this. She pulled away just enough for him to take a breath at exactly the right moment whenever he needed it, using his chin to keep the stimulation going… _all he could smell was her, **the purest form of her,** fucking Hell, she was perfect…_

 _ **Oh, God,** he was a quick learner._ She was doing most of the work, but that was certainly helpful - she’d built back whatever blissful exhilaration had faded already. “Flick your tongue,” she directed him and _**fuck** , that was beautiful, that felt amazing!_ She moaned loudly, which only encouraged him to flick all the faster. “Keep going, honey - switch it up between flicking and licking.”

_Whatever you want. Anything. **Anything!**_

She grinded all the harder, her orgasm building steadily. “Perfect, _**perfect…**_ I’m gonna come soon. You want me to - come on you? Wanna - _drink me up?_ ”

“Yes, yes! I need you -” _Fucking hell, she was going to explode on his face, he was going to taste that **sw**_ _ **eet nectar from inside her** -_

 _ **Oh fuck,** his muffled begging was **so beautiful**_ \- she was more than happy to oblige. Chasing, chasing, chasing - _almost there, almost there as his tongue **firmed up** at just the right moment_ \- her nails dig down into his stomach as she reaches her peak - “I’m coming, **oh God, Varian, I’m coming…!** ”

The orgasm arrives with a vengeance, smothering his face in her juices despite his best efforts to get them in his mouth. She’s still grinding up against him, so he keeps his tongue working, pushing his head up to use his lips, sucking at her clit -

_ **Where the fuck did he learn that?!** _

Her screams tell him it’s working so he keeps going, flicking his tongue against her as he sucks it. As her grinding slows, so does he, but _he doesn’t want to **waste** the remainders of those **delectable juices**_ \- he licks her entirely, lapping them up before she pulls herself off of him.

 _Wow. That was - exactly what she needed._ He gives the tiniest little groan as she pulls away from his still-moving tongue, and she can’t help but smile… _he’d certainly enjoyed that just as much as she had._ Satisfied, she sighs contentedly as she shimmies down to lie next to him. His cheeks are still shimmering in her juices, and she should probably help clean those up…

 _She’s so amazing._ The taste of her lingered on his tongue, and he smiled widely as she looked at him - _she looked so happy…_ she leaned towards him, and he readies himself for a kiss. It doesn’t come - instead, she laps at his face, licking off the remainders of her orgasm. Shock, quickly followed by the thought of _her_ ** _tasting herself_** _on his skin..._

He moans deeply as she licks him clean, and she wonders what he’s thinking… not enough to ask, though. Instead, she works her way to his lips, pushing her tongue inside to taste the combining flavours of the two of them… _it tasted just as amazing as she thought it would._ She indulges herself there for quite a while, taking as much as she wants, knowing he’s happy to provide it. Pulling away, eventually, she smiles widely at him.

“Thanks for that. It was really good for me.”

“O-of course. Anything… anything you want from me, I’ll - I’m happy you asked.” His eyes darkened… _Of course, you wouldn’t need to ask if I were able to -_

She sees the disappointment on his face, and knows exactly what he’s thinking about. “Hey, now. You know I like being on top, right?”

“Y-yeah, but -”

“That’s exactly how I liked it, then. Don’t worry about the other thing - it’s a good way to get me going, but what we just did? That feels _way better_ for me.”

“Yeah, but if I was - more _experienced,_ you wouldn’t have had to -”

“But I like doing that. You’re going to get better at it - knowing you, it’ll happen pretty quickly, too. Even if you were some fingering professional - I’d still want to ride that adorable face.” She cupped his cheek at the last, stroking it gently.

He flushed deeply against her hand, peeking into her eyes. “R-really?”

“Definitely. Come here.” He wriggles closer, and she drapes herself over him, peppering him with her lips. She feels his **oh-so-hard** erection prod against her - but it could wait a bit longer. _He was craving affirmation, and providing him that was her first priority._ Lips focused on his face and neck, she spoke between kisses. “You were wonderful at that. Exactly what I wanted. You listened when I asked for something, and that clever tongue of yours just made me orgasm. All over you. I think that counts as a success. Don’t you?”

“Y-yeah. When you put it like that…”

_She was so beautiful, so kind and encouraging in this. He was so inexperienced, but she was so gentle while she was teaching him - she never laughed at his questions, just explained softly, so he could understand… he’d never known how incomplete his fantasies were until she’d fulfilled them. How badly he wanted her satisfaction in all of this, **far more than his own…**_

Cassandra watched as the storm cleared away from his face. _Good._ She was happy he wasn’t berating himself anymore - it was his first time. Varian had always put such high expectations on himself… she was more realistic. He’d actually surpassed those expectations already, if she were being honest - _with more experience, he’d certainly become a force to be reckoned with in the bedroom._

Those beautiful blue eyes met hers again, and she’s happy to see not a speck of disappointment in them. Instead, they’re looking near-worshipful as he stared at her intently. The adoration there is so clear - her breath caught in her throat and… _her heart, it hadn’t quite fluttered like that since..._

_**Fuck.** _

<~~~>

“I’m happy you agree,” she said quickly, breaking her gaze away by looking down at his unrelieved erection. _Stick to the plan, Cassandra. This isn’t the time to be..._ “Now - where were we? Right after we found the goggles, right?”

“Y-yes?” he replied, looking mildly disconcerted. _Did he do something wrong? That moment seemed so - nice, romantic even, why was she…_

She pushed him over, a little roughly, as she climbed to sit on his lap. “Time to take care of you,” she said, smiling down at him as her hand wrapped around his cock. She gripped a bit harder than she’d intended - he let out a sharp, slightly pained, gasp. _Whoops._

Still grimacing from her rough touch on his already-sore cock, he looked at her inquisitively. _Something was definitely up._ “C-Cass, we don’t have to rush -”

“We’re not. I just want to see how many times I can make you come tonight,” she said seductively. _He hadn’t caught her look of self-frustration before she’d jumped on top of him, had he?_ “Now, keep telling me - what happened after we found the goggles?”

“Umm, you asked what happened in that fantasy, and I told you it was one where you experimented on me,” he said slowly. _Was it just him, or did she seem to be - avoiding something? Was it something he said?_ “Cass, are you - okay?”

“Yep. I’m great. This is great,” she said hurriedly, leaning over him and kissing him deeply to distract him. It worked, of course - his hands flew to her shoulders, pulling her down, deeper into the embrace. His lips were much surer now, his movements more confident - he’d warmed up to her, to this, and that was wonderful. And she was - enjoying him, honestly. _Was that such a bad thing? Sure, she hadn’t - given much thought to him in this way before. But now, with everything they’d done already… butterflies can happen with just sex, right? They didn’t necessarily mean she was developing… feelings for him - _

Her fingers stroked along his chest, nails digging in gently as she massaged - he let out a surprised hum against her mouth before kissing her all the more. “Then what happened?” she asked as she pulled away, dragging herself back to sit just above his erection. 

“I - I said I was nervous about it, I didn’t think I wanted to d-do that one tonight. Your face - it lit up, you looked so excited, and you s-said you wanted to know. I t-tried to stop you from asking… I was _really embarrassed._ You said we didn’t need to do it tonight, but you wanted to know what it was. I c-couldn’t - you looked so curious, it was so adorable, I couldn’t say no to that. I nodded, and you asked me what happened sp-specifically.”

 _That stutter is just - so cute._ She loved hearing him talk about this...it was almost enough to push away the worry that had begun to seep into her body. _Almost._ “Keep going,” she directed, trying to distract both him and herself as one hand slipped to reach the erection that stood between her legs. Squeezing his head gently, her hand wandered down his length slowly as she began to pump.

“ _Aaah_ \- I t-told you that you take the goggles off me and push me on the b-bed. You put them on an-and start - touching me in different places, and write down my r-reactions.” He started panting slightly, eyes wandering down as he watched her jack him off. 

“And what do I do while I’m writing?” she asked, echoing the question she’d asked the first time he’d told her about the fantasy.

“ _Mmm_ \- you s-say them out loud as you’re writing them.” His eyes squinted as he tried to remember what happened next. “Y-you said it didn’t sound too bad, and I s-said I hadn't t-told you the part that worried me…”

“And what was that?” she asked, smiling down at him as her hand pulled away.

“That you w-wouldn’t let me come un-until you got enough - data - from a lot of d-different positions,” he admitted, flushing at his past confession.

“Ah, yes. You were really worried about me going - _inside_ you, weren’t you?” she asked as she began to grind along his now-throbbing dick. She’d been a little surprised Varian had even given a thought to anal sex in his daydreams; knowing he had was enough to drive her mad with desire. She’d had to turn around when he’d divulged it so he wouldn’t see it written across her face… _rein it in, Cass. Focus._

“Y-yeah, that was the one I was - scared about,” he gasped out. His eyes flew open, watching her breasts jump above him as she moved. “You looked at the goggles, then me, like you were thinking - then you asked if we didn’t do that particular one right now, would I want to try the rest of them? **_F-f-fuck, Cass._** ” He gritted his teeth together as she picked up the pace.

“And you said yes,” she said, slightly smug.

“Yes. You said we should - take everything back to the room with us, so we finished the water and gathered it all. You put the goggles on me before we left, then shoved me towards the bed as soon as we got in, I dropped everything _everywhere…_ ”

“Subject appears enticed. Must provide additional stimulation to compile required evidence,” she quoted her previous self. She was actually rather proud of that one - alchemy wasn’t her thing, per say, but she had certainly heard Varian speak the lingo enough to piece something together.

He looked all the more aroused as she spoke. “Y-you said that right when you s-snatched the goggles off me, then laid me down and tried - fuck - _so many different things,_ to see how I’d react. You were so - _fucking perfect at it_ , Cass. I lo - I couldn’t wrap my head around it.”

“What were your favourites?” she asked, slowing down considerably as she moved upright.

“All of them,” he answered unconsciously before flushing deeply. “Um, I really liked the n-nipple one, where you just… kept on sucking on them, rubbing and pinching - and I b-begged you to stop...” _He’d held off as long as he could; the wicked grin on her face when he’d finally begged had shot straight to his dick. She backed off to take the notes, looked directly at him as she pondered aloud. Wondering… if it would make her proud, would he want to keep going? There was no way he could leave it at that, and she knew it. **Evil.**_

She chuckled lightly. He’d give her practically anything she wanted if it would make her proud… _and she didn’t even feel bad about using that against him. Those **fucking whimpers** when she’d kept going, him trying so hard to stop himself from **writhing...**_ “You had tears in your eyes before I stopped… I was so impressed with how long you lasted,” she recalled, smiling down at him. _Pleasurable ones, this time._

“Y-yeah...it felt like forever...” _He wished he would have her for that long..._

“Mmmm - probably about fifteen more minutes after you asked. You did such a great job holding out for me…” His eyes shone with happiness. “What else?”

“I l-liked it when you t-turned around while you were on top of me,” he said, sounding a little shy.

“Oh, that was a good one,” she agreed. “Subject goes absolutely wild when he can watch himself enter me.” _Not her best jargon, but with how aroused she was at the time, could you really blame her? She’d nearly gotten off that time - if she hadn’t needed to give him a break, she probably would have._ She grabbed his dick now, bringing it with practiced ease to her entrance. He bit his lip, letting out a sigh of relief as he slid into her - **_such a perfect fit._**

“A-and the one where you laid down b-beside me,” he said, bliss filling his face as she began to move. “You - _aah_ \- tucked yourself between my arms and g-guided me between your legs. Said you wanted - to see how I responded when I needed to d-do the work to s-stimulate myself.”

She smiled fondly at him, recalling it vividly - _he’d surprised her that time._ He’d been quite jerky to begin with, due to his inexperience… But, being Varian and all, he quickly got a rhythm going, movements smoothing out as he’d adjusted angles experimentally, finding what worked best for himself… _and her, of course._

“Mmm. I had to stop you from coming that time, didn’t I?”

He chuckled lightly, which was quickly overcome by a loud moan as she sunk him in, all the way to the hilt.

“ _ **F-f-fuck,**_ yes, you _- **agh** -_ I a-almost got there, and you r-reached down, pinching and s-squeezing my dick...” His voice had started loudly, but ended in a near-whimper as her hand gripped at his balls. 

“Subject can’t be trusted to stop his own release. Must be observed closely,” she said teasingly, rubbing them between her fingers. His eyes nearly rolled back in his head as she did so. “ I had to stop you twice more after that… and you were making that exact face. Maybe I should be writing this one down, too…”

 _“N-n-no, Cass - p-please, please don’t stop,”_ he begged, hands moving to cup her hips.

“Why, Varian, how would this be fulfilling one of your fantasies?” she asked, feigning sternness.

“You - you _are_ my fantasy,” he answered immediately. He inhaled in shock as soon as he finished saying it, looking at her with worry in his eyes. _**FUCK, you idiot.** You’re going to scare her off, she’s not - looking for **love** from you, dumbass. Not from - you..._

She met his gaze evenly as she continued pumping, staying silent as she stared. _What - what did that mean? Sex was sex - she’d been targeting individual scenarios. Fulfilling them to get him on her side... but what does he mean that - I’m his fantasy?_

 _She didn’t stop, and she didn’t laugh - she was just looking at him thoughtfully, maybe a little perplexed. I didn’t fuck it all up yet. It looks like - she needs me to explain more?_ Appearing almost cautious, he continued, voice quiet around his moans. “Cass, I - you’re all I’ve ever dreamt about, all I’ve ever wanted. I can’t - _argh_ \- believe I’m here with you. **AGH -** ”

He cried out as she tightened her grip on his balls and started moving at (near) her quickest speed… all she could do was distract him so he wouldn’t see the confusion written across her face. _He sounded so - infatuated with her. That couldn’t mean… could it? He certainly hadn’t said anything, not today nor any other time. He - he couldn’t be. She wasn’t really considering he was… but what if she was wrong? That would change… everything. Her plan - **her plan.** She thought it was just sex. If it was more than that… if she were manipulating his heart -fuck, fuck, **fuck.**_

He had just about reached his breaking point. She pushed against his balls and his eyes really did roll back in his head this time as he screamed. _She needed to know. So much for distracting the both of them. She… she couldn’t just ask him outright, though._ (She definitely could… but she was more than a little worried at what the answer would be.)

As he ejaculated, she leaned forward slightly, voice dropping to a whisper. ”You’re mine, aren’t you?”

“I’ve always been yours,” he professed staunchly, his mind too immersed in his orgasm to even try to word it differently. _To hell with it._ Eventually, his focus zeroed in on her face as her body began to slow - his heart cried out as hard as he just had at the small, sad smile on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *le gasp* was that - a hint of PLOT you just read?!
> 
> There will be more of that in the coming chapters...a bit more smut, of course, but this was the heaviest chapter for that.


	6. Declaration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra, try as she might to distract herself, must begin to identify the mess of feelings inside her; in order to do so, she must hear from Varian about his own.
> 
> After a heavy, heart-warming moment in which Cassandra shows her true, caring nature yet again, Varian must decide whether he will finally divulge the true depth of his feelings; knowing full well that she does not reciprocate them.

_Oh God - what did I just do?_ He became more and more distraught as the seconds passed by in silence.

Try as she might, she can’t push the concern from her face. She couldn’t believe she’d just - it felt like she’d played him. Which, sure, she had been trying to do, to some extent - but not like this. _Not if he were..._

_Fuck, Varian. You ruined it. You knew you would and you did it anyway, she can’t even look at you right now..._

Her eyes wandered down to his, seeing an unbridled panic there. _Fuck. Not his fault - get it together, Cass._ She raised herself up only enough to pull him from inside her before falling down next to him, encasing him with her arms and kissing him, slowly and deeply. His body relaxed ever so slightly, and she threw herself into it all the more, despite her brain screaming at her to stop.

_You need to talk about it. Cass, this might just make things worse. **Stop it.**_

Try as she might to reason with herself, her body’s natural instinct to distract and avoid could not be curbed. She needed time to think.

 _If he were in love with her - was that such a bad thing? She didn’t return those feelings - she was far too badly burned by Rapunzel and Eugene - but could she return them? Someday?_ She thought back to the tiny signals her body had given her over the course of their time together this evening. That sense of - ownership she’d had earlier, feeling as if his virginity _belonged to her..._

 _Hell, why not admit it… there had always been something there._ Some tiny, unacknowledged sprout, for a lot longer than just tonight. She felt - _something_ , something she’d never been able to place when it came to him… now, after what they’d done, she wondered if… _had it always been romantic?_ Regardless, no matter how miniscule that tiny something had once been, it had flared tonight into something she could no longer just - ignore. _The only question now - how deep did his own feelings run? Would it even be acceptable for her to..._

Pulling herself away from his lips, she smiled softly at the look of wonderment on his face. _At least her distraction had worked._ “It’s time for that water now. As promised.” She began pushing herself up - he groaned and, much to her surprise, grabbed her elbow and pushed it, causing her to fall forward.

 _How could anyone be thirsty after that?_ “Nah, who needs water?” he asked before kissing her again. His hands glided over her stomach, wrapping around her back and pulling her closer. 

She laughed lightly against his mouth, a hand coming up to cup his face - she used it to hold him in place as she pulled away. “You do. So do I. We’ve got plenty of time, Varian - don’t worry.”

<~~~>

They picked their way through the scattered articles of clothing safely - as they arrived at the bottom of the stairs, Cass was surprised when his arms wrapped around her from behind. His chin rested on her shoulder as they walked towards the kitchen - she felt a brief moment of happiness before a surge of guilt coursed through her. _This was… so nice. I just hope I’m not..._

She pulled away when they arrived at the water jug, filling both cups and handing one to him. He downs it, fills another and sips immediately.

“Who needs water, huh?” she said, cocking an eyebrow.

“Me. And you. You were right,” he admitted, smiling from beneath the cup. _Could you really blame me for just wanting to stay in your arms, Cassandra?_ Finishing the refill, he waited for her to drain her own before throwing his arms around her again. “Are we done yet?”

“Are you hungry?”

“No. Unless you are - I could eat, but… I’d much rather do this.” He nuzzled into her neck and started kissing it softly. He’s being - _absolutely adorable_ , but Cass can feel worry building in her throat. _Ignore it. Ignore it..._

“I’m fine,” she murmured into his hair, kissing the top of his head. He raised himself up and she pecked his lips. “Back to bed?”

 _I thought you’d never ask._ “Yes, please.” Grabbing her hand, he lets her lead him back the way they’d come.

<~~~>

Under two hours left, she thought wistfully. Their bodies were fully entwined on the bed - she could scarcely tell whose limbs were whose. The exhaustion had hit them both hard when they’d returned - that many times in one night was no small endeavor, given that he’d started out the evening a virgin, and it had been - quite a while, since she’d last done the deed with someone else.

He looked like he needed sleep - hell, Cass needed it herself - but she wasn’t quite ready to give him up just yet. She nuzzled against him, running soft kisses along his collarbone as his arms squeezed her closer. _Besides, she had to pursue her end goal before they slept. Otherwise, what was the point of this?_

Her mind tracked through the happenings of the evening, analyzing whether everything had gone smoothly. _Well, after the - first incident, anyway._ Her lips pulled into a frown - _how badly she wished she’d never…_ Varian, catching the look, squeezed his arms around her, smiling gently.

“Hey. What are you thinking about?” he asked, one hand wandering from her waist to stroke her hair. _How badly he wished to change the world so he’d never see that frown again._

“Tonight. How everything… went, I guess.”

“Pretty phenomenally, in my books. If you’re asking,” he said adoringly, nuzzling into her neck. _I’ll never understand the circumstances that somehow led me into your arms._

Her stomach flip-flopped with nausea, and she pushed it down. _Get through it, Cass - you’ve put it off as long as you can._ “They… they didn’t, though. The start was…” she bit her lip. Apparently it was her turn to flush in embarrassment. “I’m sorry about that, Varian. I didn’t -”

“Hey.” His fingers threaded in her hair, forcing her to meet his eyes. “I know. It - wasn’t ideal, I’ll admit, but… I’m just happy we got to where we are now, okay? I - forgive you. And I think it’s safe to say we’ve moved past that. Right?” He pulled her in for a kiss, and even though she still felt awful - she conceded.

_His lips were so - gentle, kind. She didn’t really think she deserved that right now… but she’d certainly indulge._

Eventually, she reluctantly pulled away. “O-okay.” _If he could get past it, she’d have to try her hardest to do so as well._ “Mmm - you did look pretty stunning afterwards. You’re absolutely gorgeous when you’re coming for me, you know.” She smiled against his hand, watching him squirm in self-consciousness. 

_If only she knew how often that thought had crossed his mind about her._ “You’re one to talk,” he replied shortly, a blush rising unbidden to his cheeks. _To have this compliment coming from someone as magnificent as her...directed to someone as - unpracticed - as he was… she deserved so much more than he was able to give..._ He bit inside his cheek as he studied her.

“Do you have a question?” she asked, noting the contemplative look on his face.

“Y-yes,” he answered hesitantly, still under the effects of Truth Serum. He broke eye contact, looking over her shoulder. _He didn’t really want to ask it; he was afraid of what her answer would be. Still..._ “I was j-just thinking…I-I know I haven’t done this before, but was I - good enough? Did you - get enough? From me?” His heart pounded as he waited for her answer.

She smiled brightly before realizing he was avoiding looking at her. _Takes one to know one._ Sighing contentedly, she wriggled all the closer against his body. “Mmm. You were much better than I was expecting, Varian. You’ve got a - knack for reading me, I think. You were good.”

He hung on every word she said, trying to mentally prepare for the rebuke _he just knew was coming_ \- when there wasn’t one, a surprised relief flooded his face. “R-really? Well… as long as you’re happy.”

Her breath caught slightly - _happy? With him? Was she happy with him? That was the real question, wasn’t it…_ luckily, she managed to realize that was not what he’d intended to ask before the silence grew too long.

“Very satisfied,” she said gently, trying not to let the worry enter her voice. It didn’t quite work - he’s looking at her imploringly now. _Shit._ She wracked her brain, searching for something, anything she can bring up that isn’t to do with the swirling of emotions she’s trying to sort…

 _The experiment fantasy. The thing he’d said he wasn’t ready for yet._ “There is… one other thing.”

 _Ah. Something else he could do to satisfy her, he hoped._ “What? What is it?” he asked intently. _Anything, anything he could do to make this as - amazing for her as it had been him for him._

“Just...something I’ve been curious about.” Her hands worked up to his shoulders, rubbing them gently. “I don’t know if…”

 _I’ll do **anything** for you, Cassandra._ “Tell me. Please,” he said earnestly, looking deep into her eyes.

 _His eyelashes were so long...she wondered how it had taken her this long to notice. Whew. Okay. Get back on track._ “Mmm. Remember that - thing you said you weren’t ready to try?” she asked. Marking her movements carefully, she bit her lip prettily, glancing down his body before pulling her gaze back to his face.

“The - oh.” _Shit. How could he forget?_ “Yes, I remember.” His body tensed unconsciously. _I don’t know if I… fuck._ He fell silent, looking at her as he continued his internal debate.

“I was hoping - we could maybe do that,” she said imploringly, moving her body closer. She throws a leg over his hip and tilts her face towards his. _As good a distraction as any, and if he agreed… all the better._

 _Fuck. Okay, Varian, look at it logically...it’s just one little thing. She - she wants to do it to you, **WITH YOU I MEAN,** and she’d be so happy if you said yes… come on, it’s not like this is some huge deal or anything, right?!_  
  
The struggle in his eyes was real… _and the more she thought about it, the stronger her desire became._ “It’ll feel - really good for you, Varian. You remember, uh, how to make me feel good, right?”

“Of course.” _How could he forget? His Cass - so strong, so bold, using him so thoroughly to get exactly what she needed..._

“You have something like that, too,” she explained, her hand running down his back. “It’s called the prostate. It’s like - your version of my G-spot. Once I find it, you’ll get to feel something - completely different than what you have so far.” Continuing to stroke him reassuringly, she paused for a moment - i _t wasn’t really a good sign that he was being silent right now, given his typical reaction was to repeat her explanations._ Moving extremely slowly, she continued to massage along his back.

_He’d - already read about this before, had come across it in one of his books - that was where the fantasy had stemmed from. But he wasn’t - **no, he had to be.** She had done so much for him, it was the least he could do \- but he was **so scared…**_

The tension isn’t releasing from his body whatsoever, no matter how hard he tried to make it. _Damn it._ “Cass -”

The discomfort in his voice told her what direction he was leaning, and she wasn’t quite expecting the disappointment seeping into her veins. _So much for this just being a distraction._ Wanting it more and more by the second, she raised a hand to cup his face, pressing her lips against his to stop his sentence.

She speaks against those soft lips between each kiss. “I want you to be mine. I want your firsts. All of them.”

 _She’s not quite sure where it came from, but it didn’t matter - it was there._ Someone had taken that precious first kiss, that one that should have been hers - and she didn’t want anyone to take this away, too.

 _Wow - what was - really? He never would have thought she would - care, that much? She - there was something there in her eyes, and if he didn’t know any better, he would have said it was - jealousy? Possessiveness? **Over him?!**_ His heart stuttered, crying out with joy… _come on, Varian, can’t you just do this tiny thing for her? This is - her feeling like this, it’s - so much more than you could have hoped for..._

He looked - well, there was a lot there. Worry and fear lingered, but he had some sort of - determination set on his face, like he was trying to prepare himself. Which was fair - It was a big ask, she knew that. He’d done so much with her already. On top of the physical exhaustion, this was - pushing his boundaries. She’d coaxed it from him gently; she’d said they didn’t have to do it. _And yet, here she was, trying her hardest to convince him. As much as she’d told herself otherwise, told him otherwise… This was actually kind of… important, to her._ Her hand wandered down slowly; eyes glued to his face to ensure he was comfortable, she ran it lightly over his ass. He flinched slightly, eyes locking with hers… appearing to brace himself, he nodded at her to continue.

She was moving extremely cautiously, her massaging and groping hands both gentle and firm, somehow, at the same time. _That felt - nice, actually._ His body gradually relaxed as she kept going - he hadn’t realized how tense he’d been. _This wasn’t - awful. Come on, Varian… just…relax…_

 _That’s it, beautiful._ His eyes are half closed, breath slowing as she worked him gently. She kept it up for quite a while, her second hand snaking beneath his hip so she could rub both cheeks at once. His body gradually lost most of its tension, and she wondered… _he hadn’t agreed yet, but maybe just a little test…_ one finger worked its way closer to the crack.

 _ **Fuck.**_ His body jerked involuntarily as she touched it. _Fuck, what if it was dirty from everything they’d been doing, what if he was bad at it, what if **he didn’t like it and she was** **disappointed** -_

His eyes flew open, as she knew they would - she made sure her face was perfectly aligned with his when it happened. “Shhh. It’s okay. It’s okay.” He looks absolutely terrified - but beneath that, she can see the relief he felt when he looked at her. _Her heart could very well jump out of her chest from the trust she can see in them._ “I’m not going to do anything if you ask me to stop. I want to try to - go down a little further. Is that okay?”

“No, I don’t want to - argh.” **Fucking Truth Serum.** His hand clapped his forehead as he looked desperately at her. “Cass, no, I d-didn’t mean that. I-i-it’s fine, I know - how much you w-want to. It’s fine, **I’m sorry,** I can -”

 _Damn it. As much as she wanted to believe those additional ramblings…_ his initial reaction was the one that counted, and neither of them could excuse that. Shifting immediately into comfort mode, she pulled her hands away from the area; one wrapped around his waist while the other moved to his chest. “No, no. It’s okay, Varian. It was a lot to ask. You said you weren’t ready earlier, and I shouldn’t have pushed it.”

 _Fuck, no! He couldn’t disappoint her, he couldn’t let her feel -_ “I-I can be ready, though! Cass, just give me - give me a minute, please -” His voice is cracking from earnestness, and _he sounds like a fucking child..._

Her eyes met his again, this time full of concern. Sure, she was a little disappointed… she didn’t know when they’d get another chance to do this, or even _if_ they would. But he… _he was trying so hard to please her, to make her happy, even knowing he wasn’t ready for it…_

“Hey. Focus,” she commanded, seeing the frazzled look in his eye. He heaved a breath through his nose and complied, giving her his full(ish) attention through his fluster. She reached for his hand, gripping it gently as she spoke. “I’m not - I’m not here to try and push you into something you don’t want to do, Varian. It’s okay that you aren’t ready for that, and the last thing I want is for you to be pushing yourself to do something you’re not comfortable with. Not for me.”

His eyes are coloured with sorrow now, and her heart cried out for him.

“I c-can, though. I just - fuck, I know you _want this,_ I’m such a -”

“ **HEY.** Don’t even think about finishing that sentence,” she said warningly. He froze, looking at her with shock. “You’re not ready. That’s it. That doesn’t make you an - anything, actually. You’re the exact same Varian you were before - and once you are ready, you’ll know.”

She pulled his hand up, kissing it gently, over and over… his eyes were tearing up slightly, and she pulled herself all the closer, moving her lips to pepper his face instead.

 _She was so - kind, so experienced, so gentle and understanding…_ his eyes fell downwards, still full of unshed tears as he murmured against her lips. “I’m sorry…I-I wish I were r-ready for you...”

“You have nothing to be sorry about. It’s okay,” she murmured back, her heart pounding in her chest. _He was so - pure, trying so hard to please her, so selfless…_ She shouldn’t ask. She knows she shouldn’t. He would take it completely seriously - she knew he would. _Which is why she wanted…_ “Can I ask… for something, though?”

“Of course. What is it?” _Anything, any single thing she requested - if it were within his power, it would be hers._

 _Don’t be afraid. He can always say no._ “I want you to… save it for me.” She flushed lightly, forcing herself to hold his gaze. “I want to be the first one you do that with.” _It was so unfair of her to ask…_ “I want you to promise me.”

 _It’s yours. It is a part of me, and I belong to you._ He didn’t skip a beat. Didn’t even consider it for a moment. A deep sincerity coloured his voice as he touched his forehead to hers, looking straight into her eyes. **“It’s yours. I promise.”**

<~~~>

As their lips met again, Cass can’t help but recognize how - different, it feels, somehow. _That promise - even with the slow trickle of confusing feelings she’d started to identify… that promise felt like an anchor between them._ Before, she had been making the most of every second, unsure what the future held, working within a limited time frame… and now...

 _This was more._ He couldn’t comprehend how this development occurred - how she would ask him so sincerely for a future, _how she could want that…_ with him. _Cassandra; I will be yours for as long as you will allow it. And you will have my heart long past that._

 _Those feelings - well, so much for distracting herself. It was time… time to figure out his side of things, at least. She had to be sure._ His lips felt so lovely against hers; how badly she wished they could stay in this moment instead. But she couldn’t - she had to figure out what this was, if this were anything; had to find out what exactly was in his heart. _And the only way she can do that..._

She breaks the kiss. “Varian?”

“Mmm. Yeah?”

She pulled back slightly, looking into his soulful eyes. _Such a bright blue - so vibrant._ Taking a deep breath - trying to prepare herself for whatever the outcome would be - she braced herself before the question left her lips. “How do you - feel about me?”

A moment of silence as his brain tried to comprehend her question - swiftly followed by what can only be described as panic. His arms stiffened completely as they pulled away from her, and the second she had to look in his eyes showed complete turmoil. He’s fighting hard against the Serum, trying desperately to push whatever it was from his lips… her heart plummeted. _This can’t be anything good._

_No, no no no - it wasn’t supposed to be like this. He couldn’t fucking tell her now… not after the promise. How the hell could he confess his love after that, without looking like a complete moron? Like a **needy child?!** No, this wasn’t - right, he’d scare her off, she’d want nothing to do with him after that. Cass didn’t need some - lovesick puppy trailing after her. **He couldn’t tell her!** He was under the fucking Serum and how the fuck was he going to dodge this, **oh God...**_

_Okay, okay. The truth, Varian. It doesn’t have to be… everything. Hopefully. Just enough that it’ll let you stop talking. Detailed, but not - too many._ “I feel - like I’ve never been happier than when I’m with you,” he responded slowly. The pained look on his face showed he was still wrestling with the compound. “I really - wish you’d never left... a-and I want you to come back - home - with me.” _Please let that be enough._ He fell silent with no small amount of relief on his face.

 _Okay… things I already know._ “That’s not - exactly what I meant -”

 _Damn it. What more do you want? Unless - had she guessed? **Fuck.**_ “Okay, okay, I hear you - but Cass, please, I don’t - I really don’t want to talk about this…” _Not now. Please!_

 _A little frustrating - she needed to know. Why wouldn’t he tell her? But… fine._ She sees the desperate plea in his eyes, and of course she would respect that… no matter how frustrated she felt. She willed her tone to become soothing. “Varian -”

_He couldn’t - he couldn’t tell her, he shouldn’t have taken that **damn Serum,** he had to **get out of here,** wait for it to leave his body - _

He swiftly disentangled himself from her, jumping up from the bed. “Cass, don’t - I - fuck, I gotta go -”

 _ **What?** No, that - that couldn’t be right._ “Hey, hey! It’s okay, I’m not -”

It’s no use. He’s already up, moving frantically towards the door. “I’m not - I can’t - just… I need to -”

She leapt from the bed to follow him. Horror dawned on her face as she saw the tiny shards of rock that had flared in front of the door. **Fuck.** _She must have begun to raise them instinctively._ She lowered them immediately, and _Thank God he didn’t see. After the way tonight had started… I mean… after that, was she really surprised it would end like this?_

“Varian…” Her voice is practically a whisper, so soft he barely caught it. His hand is curled around the doorframe he was about to throw himself through, but something - something about it made him pause. _It was almost like she wasn’t even - talking to him, she sounded so..._ Panic fading to a semi-manageable rate, he convinced himself to look at her. She’s - not even looking at him. Her eyes were boring holes in the ground, and she’s clutching herself so tightly, and _**were those...**_

 _Where the hell had these come from?!_ She shoved the two tear tracks angrily off her cheeks as she willed the unshed ones away - back to wherever they belonged. _This wasn’t - her. She wasn’t - weepy. What did it even matter, anyway? He didn’t want to be here, fine. It’s not like she’d had any - real hope that he would stay. What the hell was she thinking, deluding herself into believing he had **f** **e elings** for her, might even be **in love** with her, acting so high and mighty about whether her own feelings were strong enough… **fuck.** He’d probably already disappeared, already fucking left her on her own, **just like…**_

She barely registered his bare legs in her field of vision before his arms are surrounding her, caging her own against her chest. Those idiotic tears pushed once again against her eyes, but she refused to let them fall; instead, she leaned as hard as she could against him, body curling so she could burrow against him, hiding her eyes. “I’m - I’m sorry,” she said into his neck before she could stop herself - _why the fuck does my voice sound so raw?_ “I didn’t mean to - fuck. I know I - I jump to conclusions all the time, I’ve always been like that, it’s a lot - a lot to handle…”

 _What - what was she talking about?_ He feels disconcerted for a moment - but it didn't really matter. Instead of questioning her about it, he simply asked, “Is - is that why you think I wanted to leave?” He tried to pull his head back to look in her eyes, but she refused to meet his gaze - she nodded mutely against his skin. _No, no - he couldn’t bear having her think that._ “That’s not - not it at all, Cass. I just - I didn’t want to talk about - I just wanted to let the Serum run its course, so I didn’t...”

 _The… the Serum. She’d made him take it, and who the fuck was she to ask him to do that?_ “The Serum. You never - I shouldn’t have ever asked you to take that. I’m such a...” _**Fuck.**_ She paused for a moment, breathing deeply through her nose - _his scent was so comforting, so calming, so..._ “Fuck, Varian. I don’t know what I’m doing. I really - fucked this all up before we even started, I shouldn’t have kept -”

“No. No, Cass, listen -”

He tried to tilt her face up to look at him, but _she fucking can’t._ She pulled back from the touch, continuing until she was out of his arms. _He was so good, so wholesome and true, she never should have…_ “This was a mistake. We never should have...”

**His heart shattered.**

“I should have left you alone. You’re just - you don’t deserve this, Varian. I’m only going to hurt you, and -”

 _This can’t be happening. No, please, **no.**_ His voice reflects the brokenness inside. “Cass… _Cassandra,_ don’t say that, please stop -”

“ **No**. This isn’t something you get to stop.” She looked at him angrily - _the despair on his face. Put there by yours truly._ “What could we even fucking have? What dysfunctional insanity could be ours? We both come home from a long, hard day of work for me to, what, spike your damn drink and make you tell me what you did all day?”

“We could - find love - share that together - s-someday.” She looked up, shocked - seeing his pained expression, she realizes too late that _she’d asked a fucking question and he’d been forced to answer it._

“ **FUCK.** See what - that’s exactly what I mean -”

“Cass, come on -”

“I didn’t even _mean to_ and I’m forcing you to tell -”

“CASS. I took that Serum myself. I knew the risks -”

“Yeah, I bet you’re regretting that lapse of judgement now. Thinking you can fucking **trust me** -”

“ _Stop it_ -”

“I’ve never done a _fucking thing to deserve your trust,_ I **always** put myself before you. Ever since that **fucking science festival** when I -”

_That was the fucking moment when he knew -_

“ - I took advantage of you then, you helped me all fucking day and I left you _high and dry_ -”

 _No, that’s not how it happened._ He interjected immediately. “You didn’t! Don’t you remember?! You -”

“ **Of course I remember!** I turned my back on you to follow my own fucking ambition, it’s **my fault** you lost -”

**“NO!”**

There is nothing he can do but throw himself at her. He wrapped her tightly in his arms; she struggled against him weakly, _she didn't want to hurt him again…_ suddenly, his lips are on hers. She wanted to pull away so badly, _she didn’t want to ruin him any more than she already had…_

 ** _How the hell could she not see?_ **The very day she viewed as such a detriment… the very day he’d _well and truly fallen for her_ , the day he replayed in his mind more than any other...

_Why did he even fucking want to be kissing a monster like her? You should be running, Varian - **away from me.** I’m only going to hurt you, betray you like I always have -_

_Why couldn’t he just be a man and **fucking tell her?** Why did he run from it? Why was he making her regret the night that had changed his life? Why wasn’t he telling her what was **i **n** his heart?**_

His lips were so warm, so steady, so sure - _She couldn’t. He was so pure, so fucking breakable - _

_She was all he’d ever wanted, and she was slipping away._ Her lips were set, she would pull away any second and _he couldn’t bear the thought of being without her, not now…_

He pulled their lips apart first, replacing the touch by pressing their foreheads together. Just when he thought he’d be scared shitless, an unanticipated calm coursed through his body - _it was now or never, and he refused to even consider a life without her in it._ “Cass, look at me.”

She struggled in his arms again, trying to pull away. “No. This isn’t - you deserve someone kind, and thoughtful, and _good,_ Varian. Not -”

“Cass.” The force in his voice, so different from how soft and pliant he’d always been, pulled her eyes to his. “I love -”

 **“Don’t.”** Don’t say it. _I’m not worth it, kid._

 **“I love you.”** She stopped struggling, standing very still instead. “I always have. I didn’t want to - tell you earlier. I always pictured it differently. Some huge, grand gesture, the perfect script at the perfect moment. It doesn’t matter, though - all you need is the truth, so here it is. I love you. I’ve been in love with you for - far longer than I want to admit. I thought it was love at first sight, but then I really fell - _into_ it at the science competition.”

 _ **How?!** How, after she had thrown him aside like trash -_ “Varian…”

“You remember that day much differently than I do, Cass. You remember the - things I don’t find at all important enough to remember. And you’re forgetting the best parts. We spent the morning together, doing just - the most mediocre things, trying to get the castle ready for visitors. And yet, I enjoyed every minute, every second. I was _so happy_ for you when you got offered the guard detail. So lucky to - to be there, to celebrate such a huge accomplishment, and I wanted so badly to help you achieve it in any way I could -”

 _And I took advantage of that._ “Yeah, and I let you. Just before I ditched you completely -”

“Completely?” His eyes shone with an intensity she’d never thought she’d see in them. “ _You chose me_ , Cass. When it came down to saving that - prominent, pompous ‘expert’, which meant safeguarding all the effort you put in - keeping your dream alive - between that, or saving me… you picked me.”

 _I thought I told you not to read into that._ But… she did, didn’t she… 

“That was the moment. The moment I realized I’d - I’d never love another soul as much as I loved you.” _I never, ever could. Not even if I wanted to._

 _It was true, then. Ghostly Girl was right, and she was a fool not to see it._ He’d been in love with her this whole time, or thought he was at least… _such strong declarations from someone who had no - real idea about the extent of what he was saying._ Regardless, he’d been pining for her this whole time, and what was she doing? _She was off with them._ Hiding her relationship with Rapunzel and Eugene from everyone... _Dear God, it would break his heart if he -_

“I never thought I’d ever get the chance to be with you. It was - so hard, watching you with her.” Her eyes rounded in surprise; he smiled sadly. “Yeah, I know you and Rapunzel were together. And… Eugene?” She nodded mutely - his eyebrows quirked together, processing. “Huh. All right. Anyways. You were so - happy with her. I mean, them. I knew I never stood a chance, not compared to… that’s why tonight - I couldn’t say no to being with you. Wouldn’t. Not in a million years. Even if it’s - complicated… that doesn’t change how I feel about you, and I’ll take _every scrap_ you’re willing to throw me.”

“Varian… I didn’t -”

“You couldn’t have known, Cass. I didn’t tell you.”

“If I - paid more attention. God, I’m such a _jerk_ -”

“No, you’re not. I had the information, Cass. All of it - well, not the Eugene piece, but that doesn’t change the rest - I knew the facts, before we did this.” He loses his momentum as he looks into her eyes, seeing not the happiness he’d always fantasized about, but a heavy worry, bordering on distress. The blow strikes hard in his chest - but it wasn’t exactly unexpected. _He… he’d always known it, as much as he wished for the alternative._ Taking a deep breath, he continued, willing the pain out of his voice. “I’m not - not asking you to return my feelings. I… I know that’s not how it works. I don’t even know where your relationship with - them is at these days -”

“ _Nowhere._ We’re not… together, not anymore…”

“Well, I’m happy I didn’t make you cheat, then,” he said jokingly before he can stop himself. _Not the time, idiot!_ “Sorry. Anyway, my point is… I’m not expecting anything from you. You’ve given me - all I could have hoped for tonight. It was the best night of my life.”

Her heart pounded all the harder in her chest. _**How on Earth had she missed this?**_ She gave herself a shake internally as he continued; she hung on every word.

“And - as I said before - **I’m yours.** If this is all you wanted, just a one night thing, that’s completely fine - but if you think it could be… more? O-or even want to - to try and see if it is, I… want that, too.” _More than anything I’ve ever wanted before._

_It was - so much. Why the hell didn’t she realize this before? Why hadn’t she asked, before they… well, it was too late now. She needed time to think about - all that. Right now, only one thing was clear - he was looking for an answer. One that she couldn’t provide. Not yet. _

“Varian…”

Her tone was very serious, and he doesn’t even want to consider the fact that there is more than a hint of pity in it. “Hey. I know, I know It’s a lot to think about. You don’t need to answer right now. But, just… let’s just take a break. To… think it through?” he finished weakly.

“Yeah… that’s probably a good idea,” Cass agreed distractedly. 

They stand together awkwardly for a few moments - he feels her tense in his arms, and knows she wants to pull away. _He didn’t want that. Not at all._ “Do you mind if we just - lay down together? For a while?” he asked rushedly, before she had a chance to act on it.

She studied him for a few moments, deliberating. _This was - huge. She felt awful for using his body like that, now that she knew how he felt. But it wasn’t like she had felt -_ her heart skipped in her chest _- nothing, with him. There was something there, something he had noticed long before she had… and, if given the chance, would it grow? If he stayed - if she had time to heal the hurt caused by them…_

Pulling herself away from her thoughts, she saw the hope in his eyes beginning to dissipate. _The damage she may have caused was already done. What would a little cuddling do?_

“Of course we can.”

 ** _That smile on his face, she was sure, could shed light from within the black rocks._** Unable to resist, she leaned forwards and kissed him. He’s surprised by the first, but his lips are ready and willing as she leans in for another, _and another and another..._ Not caring now, she slid her tongue into his mouth and kissed him deeply, exploring every familiar surface inside. Eventually, he breaks the kiss with a gasp. Returning his dazzling smile, she turned in his arms, grasping them so he wouldn’t let go. Stroking the soft hair on them thoughtfully, she leads him back to the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my babies! The distraction! The comfort mode! CASS CRIED TWO TEARS?! WHAT IS THIS BLASPHEMY?!
> 
> Sorry if her thought process is unclear - it's sort of meant to be, what with all the internal conflict.
> 
> But also - Varian is ADORABLE.


	7. Convictions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra has run out of distractions and time; she must finally make her request.
> 
> Varian must look inside himself, and does not necessarily like what he finds.

They’d spent over an hour in each other’s arms with no small sense of urgency. Quiet whispers of conversation had filled the silence between their kisses to begin with - eventually, they laid in silence instead, staring at each other intently between rounds. Their eyes had begun to grow heavy, eventually - at the moment, Varian is very nearly asleep, though Cass’ mind refuses to allow her that luxury despite her exhaustion. She can’t stop thinking about how to proceed.

 _Would she still ask him to stay?_ Even if she couldn’t give him what he wanted - no, what he _deserved_ \- right now? She had no idea what the future held, but as for this moment - she couldn’t open her heart to him. _Not yet._

On the other hand, hadn’t he offered just that? Being - together with no… declarations on her end. No obligations or promises. He’d said he was willing to try, even though he’d guessed (correctly) that she didn’t feel the depth that he did. _Would it be horrible of her to take him up on that?_

And there was still… _that._ The war with Rapunzel, in which she was in desperate need of allies. He wasn’t just any ally, either. This was _Varian _\- not some small-time crook, or someone who was rotting away in the dungeons of Corona. He had been a great adversary of Corona’s - arguably one of the biggest threats the Kingdom had faced in this day and age. His insane amount of intelligence (especially from someone so young) combined with his reckless abandon and desperation to see his plans through…

Plus, there was the fact that he knew, firsthand, the betrayal of Rapunzel. He understood Cassandra’s struggle in a way no one else ever would - he’d experienced Rapunzel’s flimsy excuses, her acts of ‘love’ that were just that **\- acts.** And while he may have ‘redeemed’ himself in society’s eyes, (or was working towards it, at least). The seeds of knowledge, of what blasphemy Corona and Rapunzel consisted of, had already been planted. _He was far too smart for his own good, and there was no way he’d be able to ignore them forever._

Ghostly Girl’s voice echoed in her head once again. _“So much power, though he’s unaware of it… that could be used to our advantage.”_

Her companion’s assessment couldn’t be taken lightly, either. If she could sense power within him - well, Cass could use all the power she could get. 

And there was always that… one other thing that she had to admit. _It would be truly wonderful to spend her evenings wrapped around him._ Scary, of course, mind boggling, yes, but to pursue whatever this was… there was an indignant part of her just below the surface that wanted nothing more. _If the sex was already this good… why, she could only imagine what would come after he gained more experience._ These past months had been particularly difficult in that regard; not only physically, either. _Having someone to talk with in the wee hours of the morning… God, she missed that, too._

 _She was doing this, wasn’t she?_ The queasiness hits her much harder than it had before - she despised talking about this sort of thing. But… she did have to admit. It was much easier with him than it had ever been with anyone else… including Rapunzel and Eugene. Taking a few deep breaths to settle the bile that had nearly risen in her throat, she wriggled closer to him as it settled.

“Varian?”

“Mmmm,” he hummed, opening a single bleary eye to look at her. “Cassie - come sleep now.”

_He’d used the nickname he’d given her so long ago…_

He pulled her towards him, throwing an arm over her shoulder as he nuzzled into her chest; he breathed a deep sigh of contentment as his eye closed again.

“I - can’t yet. Varian, I need to talk to you,” she said gently, leaning to kiss him softly.

His lips responded to her automatically, though his eyes refused to open. “Mmm - can’t it wait?”

_She wished so badly that she could, that she didn’t need… the extra assurance to trust him…_

“No. W-we don’t have… time.”

“For what? ...oh.” His eyes opened as he recognized the implications of her statement - the Truth Serum would be running out soon. _Too smart for his own good._

“I-I’m sorry, but I need to - ask you some things.” Her eyes fell down in shame, the far-too-familiar guilt bubbling inside… _but what else could she do?_

“I - hmm,” he said, contemplating her. “Well… go ahead, I guess. Like I said earlier, I knew what I was doing when I decided to take the Serum. If it’s what you need - then go ahead.” _He wished so badly that she would just trust him… but she didn’t, not yet, and nothing he could say would change that. Someday… he hoped there would be a someday..._

“It’s - heavy,” she admitted, peeking into his eyes.

 _Of course it is. It’s the only reason you need me right now… I just hope you know that I need you, too._ “I thought it would be. Can you just - can I ask for something in return?” His hand pulled up to cup her face.

“What is it?” she asked, a finger stroking his chest absentmindedly.

He’s unsure if it’s the exhaustion or the fact that she finally knew the depth of the feelings he had for her, but he doesn’t even feel nervous. Not about the request, the impending talk, the Truth Serum - none of it. _Curious, now that he was waking up more, mildly concerned about what the content could be that needed to be addressed right at this moment… but not nervous._

“Sleep with me… when it’s over. The conversation, I mean - I want to fall asleep with you tonight. I don’t know what we’re going to be talking about, or what you need to ask, but - that’s what I want.”

She bit her lip nervously - _surely, he wouldn’t feel that way if this went poorly._ “If you still want that when we’re done - then yes.”

“I will. D-do you promise?” _He’d promised her something earlier, after all. He only hoped she’d return the favour._

“If you still want it then - yes. I promise.” _I hope you will._

He sighed contentedly. “Okay. What is it?”

“I want…” _Whoa, Cass. Build it up a bit, first._ “Did you mean what you said earlier, about loving me?”

“Every word. I’ve loved you for a very long time.” _And I will love you forever more._

“Even if I - can’t? Yet?” _Although he knew it… she can’t help but feel a little remorseful at the fact. Maybe, someday… but not yet._

“Yes. I want you to love me, of course - but I want it to be on your terms. Not an obligation you need to fulfill.” _You’ll never love me as much as I love you - and I can live with that._

_Okay. Good. She needed that reassurance, before…_

“And how do you feel about - my fight with Rapunzel?” Her voice stumbled over the name, worry catching in her throat - _this is exactly where everything could go horribly, horrendously wrong._

 _Oh. That - makes sense, actually._ “I - wish you weren’t fighting, but I - understand why you are.” He’s pausing slightly, trying to open himself up. _Let the Serum do its work - she needs your honesty._ “I - you know I understand more than anyone else could. I’ve been wronged by her before, too, but - I don’t think this is the best route you could be taking to dealing with that anger.”

She tensed slightly in his arms, but stayed put. _That’s fair - well, a matter of opinion, anyway._ “I’m - really, I’m just trying to fulfill my destiny here, Varian. I know I was made for greatness, and just because the Moon Stone is powerful doesn’t mean it automatically belongs to her.”

“I know. I don’t have much of an opinion on that - who is in the right or wrong here. All I know is, I miss you. She misses you. Everyone misses you. We want you back.” _I need you back._

 _How many times had she considered returning? But..._ “I can’t go back. She’ll only let me if I give it up.”

 _He wished it weren’t true, but knowing the Princess..._ “How do you know that?”

“You weren’t - _there_ , Varian. She was so angry I took it - and all she did was demand that I handed it over. She wouldn’t even _listen_ -”

“She was angry. She thought...” he trailed off, unsure if he should continue. _It had nothing to do with him… he’d been a bit preoccupied paying for his own sins when this all went down._

“What did she think?” Cass asked bluntly, needing to hear his thoughts on it (though she didn’t at all want to).

 _That it belonged to her._ “That it was her destiny, and you were stealing it from her. Just like you’re thinking now.”

She scoffed. “Of course she does. She probably can’t _fathom_ why _anyone else_ should get a chance to wield power…”

“Cass… you wield power all the time. The Moon Stone doesn’t give you that.” _The power you have over me - I’d be loath to admit how much._

A little flabbergasted at his response, she took a moment to collect her thoughts. _Get back on track, Cass. Where… where was I?_ “Well… I can’t just go back, Varian. It’s not that simple. But…”

“But what?”

“You could - stay. Here. With - with me.” It’s his turn to tense in her arms. “I-I know you’re trying to - move past what happened with your dad, but… you’ve seen how wrong the priorities are in the Kingdom. How people like us are used and discarded, and all the power always goes to - _them._ Don’t you think it’s wrong?”

 _ **Had she just said he could**_ \- he can feel his thoughts tug away from that first sentence, _the important one,_ and focus on the question. _He’d enhanced that Serum far too perfectly, and he never thought he’d regret it until now._

“Y-yes. It is wrong, the citizens of the Kingdom are the backbone of it. They should be celebrated and - and equal to those in power. But, Cass, that isn’t something that just changes overnight -”

“I know. It’s not something you have to just live with and accept, either.” There is a hint of accusation in her voice. _He’d tried to change it, once… well before she had. But, even knowing what he knew, he went back..._

 ** _That wasn’t fair._** Trying not to get defensive, he responded carefully. “I’m not - just _accepting_ it. I’m trying to create change -”

 _I know you can see it._ “I tried that for years, Varian. **It doesn’t work.** It took me so long to accept that. You need to be outside of it, pushing in to make the change you want to see -”

 _That wasn’t - it couldn’t be true. Could it?_ “No… that’s not where true change comes from. It -”

 _Unwilling to admit it? Fine - new tactic._ “Don’t you find it even a little bit irritating that, after Rapunzel betrayed you… it was _you_ who got turned into ‘The Villain’?” she asked boldly, raising herself onto an arm. 

_He’s trying so hard not to fight against the forced honesty, but all his brain can think is how dangerous this conversation could be…_ “I - **argh.** Yes, I do find it annoying. I was just trying to free my dad, and things got so - messed up -”

 _Finally, a deeper reaction._ “And she came out of it all sunshine and daisies. Do you think that’s fair?”

 _God, this was a lot, he shouldn’t..._ “N-no - I - don’t. It’s - **argh** \- it’s not fair. Cass, can we have a break from -”

 _Just when she was getting to the point? Of course._ Frustration coloured her voice as she asked, “Do you want a break because you’re tired, or because you don’t want to admit it to yourself?”

 _It’s just - too much, I need to…_ “A bit of the latter, I suppose, but mostly because I just - need to think. Please? Cassie, please.”

 _Had he used the nickname intentionally to throw her off? Because if so, it worked._ “Oh. O-okay. We can have a break.” She sat up, unsure of what to do to give him space. “I’ll just...”

His hand grasped her wrist just before she moved to stand. _There is not a second that wouldn’t be wasted if it were away from you._ “Come here. I need a break from the questions - not from you.”

Giving her no time to respond, he pulled gently on her wrist; he was pleasantly surprised when she followed without a fight. Guiding her towards him, he used one arm to cushion her head as he pulled her face to his chest.

She was more than a little surprised that he still wanted her here while he processed. _Still, if it would make him more likely to… and besides that, she couldn’t help but think that - this was nice. She feels so warm, so - protected, nuzzled against him like this. It was a very different role than she had taken throughout the rest of their evening, one that she was actually almost unfamiliar with as a whole… there was no possible way she’d ever let **Eugene** do this to her. Hell, it was unlikely with Rapunzel as well. But, somehow, it being Varian holding her like this, it felt… comfortable._ Staying quiet while he thought, she stroked his side gently as she waited.

He smiled softly at what must be an exceedingly rare vision of the Cassandra he had in his arms. _He wasn’t at all sure that she’d allow him to cradle her; she was always the dominant force, in everything they’d done so far, including cuddling. It had just - felt right to try. She could have pulled away, and he would have been fine with that… **but she hadn’t.** This was another of those rare instances when her guard dropped around him, and he couldn’t help but feel special that it had._

Shaking his head as he shimmied all the closer, he forced himself to look away from her so he could focus.

_She. Was asking him to stay. She wanted him here, with her. The woman of his dreams, the one he’d adored for all of these years, wanted him with her, just as he’d always longed for. Well, perhaps not quite in the way he’d pictured - it was becoming increasingly clear that his depth of feelings were nowhere near reciprocated. But the fact that she wanted him at all… that in itself was a dream come true._

**_And yet._ **

_She was not merely asking him to stay for - this. To be together. For a relationship, whatever that looked like. She was searching for more than that - she was seeking his allegiance in the war to come. She hadn’t said it in so many words - but she hadn’t needed to. She knew his past, his previous alignments, his - tendencies. She knew exactly what she’d be getting if he did stay - he was fully aware of the extent of what she was asking._

_While she had not fully divulged the reasoning behind her actions, he could understand them, for the most part. While she wanted to fulfill herself, prove her power and strength… she’d also seen that which many people had not. **The Kingdom’s flaws.** Their treatment of the citizens, the monarchy’s utter indifference and disdain for those they were meant to protect… like him. And, as much as he wished the Queen-to-be was different… well, she hadn’t exactly proved that to him, had she? Not - consistently, at least._

_Though some of her logic may be flawed, or rooted in self-regard, that did not change the core of her beliefs, what she was trying to achieve. Cassandra was - **making sense,** and the fact that he could see that, scared him. He understood why she wanted what she did - Corona was, in truth, **very broken**. He’d experienced that firsthand. Their priorities were skewed, had always leaned toward protecting those at the top… she was right about that. And he - he knew that far-too-familiar temptation that she felt. To stir anarchy, to force the change the kingdom so desperately needed, **to be the reason…**_

> The distant echo of a memory rings in his brain. His talk with Queen Arianna; after he’d snatched her from the castle, brought her to his father’s body, encased in amber. She’d asked what he would do after he freed him...
> 
> _“After? Oh, well, I’m afraid Corona will pay for turning their backs on me. And that’s when you should start worrying, Your Majesty.”*_

_Fuck. She was making too much sense… the tomb he’d created in his mind, locking away those long laid-to-rest plans, began to rattle; the skeletal ideas and formulas scratched at the door, demanding to be freed. All of the things he hadn’t accomplished then… _ **how easy they would be to accomplish at her side…**

<~~~>

**No, Varian.**

_This is not who you are. It is not the way to make your father proud - it’s not the road to success. As much as you want the same things she does… the way she is pursuing the change is the fault in her system. To harm, to demand, to take… that was the exact same as those in charge. Two wrongs will never make a right._

_Now I just have to convince her of that._

“Okay, I’m ready,” he said gently, kissing the top of her head. “But - stay with me this time? Please?”

 _Why did he - even want that?_ “Okay.” She leaned away from his chest - he adjusted his arm, still cradling her head as she pulled it up on level with his. “What were you thinking about?”

“You. Me. Corona. How it all - fits together. I know you want to create change, I just don’t agree with how you want to do that.”

 _Huh. She should’ve expected nothing less, she supposed._ “So how do you think I should do it?” she asked curiously.

He’s happy she’d asked specifically about herself… _he might have divulged one of those recently stirred plans by accident if she hadn’t._ “Confront it head on. Don’t run away from the problem -”

 **“I’m not running away,”** she said angrily, her head jerking upwards at the accusation. _Why were people always saying that?!_

 _Woah. He hadn’t meant it like - shit._ “Okay, okay. I’m sorry, poor choice of words.” He raised a hand to her face, stroking it gently. “You and Rapunzel need to hash this out, Cass. You’re -” _Lovers? Friends?_ “ - connected, and the only way either of you will be able to deal with this is if you talk.”

_Again? He still didn’t get the fucking point? What was the point when Rapunzel never listened to a word she said? She was certainly paying attention now that her power had grown, though._

“I’m not going to do that. Varian - I know you want me to come back, **but I can’t.** ” His face fell, and Cass’ heart twinged at the sadness in his eyes. “That doesn’t mean - we can’t be together. You could stay here. You could stay, and we could - figure out what this is. We could change… _a lot._ We could change everything. If we did it together.”

_They would surely change it all, there was no doubt in his mind… and that was precisely why he couldn’t stay._

“Cass…” The longing in his voice was evident, surely, but so was the forfeiture.

 _No… don’t, don’t sound like that… please…_ “Do you - want to?”

“I-I want to, more than anything. Cass, I want to be with you, _in any way that I can,_ whether you want me - romantically or platonically. I want to spend every waking minute I have with you. Hell, every sleeping minute as well. I want to see your face every time I wake up, hear you laugh at my stupid jokes and see you smile self-consciously _every single time_ I compliment you...”

 _Couldn’t they just leave it at that?_ “But… you won’t.”

Her ears rang in the silence that followed, and she felt the _for-some-fucking-reason familiar_ burn of tears pushing against her throat. She pulled his hand softly from her cheek, rose up and sat at the edge of the bed, facing away from him.

“Why?” she asked, fighting to push the emotion from her voice.

 _He couldn’t believe he’d hurt her like this. How could he?! And, strong as she was, she was trying so hard not to let him see…_ He stretched a hand towards her back, wanting to comfort her, to pull her back to him, but thought better of it. _It would be what he would’ve wanted if their roles were reversed, but he somehow doubted it was what she needed right now._ Letting his arm fall, he responded.

“I’ve already tried to deal with everything by taking it into my own hands. All it caused was pain and suffering and I-I hurt the ones I love. My friends, my village… you. _Dear God,_ I wish I never hurt you.” Tears pricked at his eyes, and he spoke with far more emotion in his voice than she had - _he wasn’t trying to push it away._ “I even hurt myself in the process. I became - something I’m not. Something... I hope I’m not. Something I never want to be. I was a monster.” 

_Her breath catches at the word._

Unphased, he continued. “I wanted to make others hurt like I hurt - and it worked, to some extent. But it didn’t make me feel any better… it just made me feel worse. No matter how much I got… it was **never enough.** I - don’t want that for you.”

 _Try as she might to listen, to respect his choice… she can’t help but try to change his mind._ “You were alone, Varian. You wouldn’t be this time -”

**I was alone every second of my life until I had you.**

“It doesn’t matter if I was alone or not, Cass.” He sighed deeply. _How could he explain this in a way that made sense?_ “What matters is… well, who I _want_ to be. I want to be the son my father deserves. The - the man that you can love, someday. I want to - solve problems. Fix things. Discover new things with alchemy, things that will benefit people, and share them with the world. I want… I want to be helpful, and honest, and **useful** -”

“You can do all of that here… you can be all of those things, here...” _With me..._

“I can’t. I don’t think you’re wrong, Cass, I just… I don’t think taking what you want, when you want, regardless of who gets hurt is the way to -”

 _He was fucking leaving her. He was leaving, just like they did._ “Oh, I’m sure you would know,” she snapped. “You’re so _young,_ Varian, you have no idea how the world -”

 _She’s lashing out. She’s angry. She doesn’t mean it like that._ As hard as he tried to rationalize, he can feel the sting of her words whip across his heart.

 **“Don’t.”** His voice is filled with such suffering, she looks back over her shoulder - his eyes are filled with tears that are threatening to tumble. “I’m not - _just some kid,_ Cassandra. How could you even say that after…” He’s turning in on himself, pulling his body further away as he curls.

 _What the hell? He didn’t fucking deserve that, Cass._ “I… didn’t mean it like that, Varian -” she moved quickly, laying her body next to him - he flinched away from her touch. “Scratch that. I wasn’t thinking. That wasn’t okay for me to say. I’m sorry.”

_I know you didn’t. But that **doesn’t make it hurt less.**_

The tears began to fall, and she had no idea how to stop them. They’re just - there, running silently down his cheeks. They sat in the stillness for a few minutes before she tried to reach out to him again - this time, he allowed her to grasp his hand.

 _One last try._ “Varian… I want you to stay. I want us to do this. I don’t know all the answers, but - I want us to move forward together. I need you here, to help me figure it all out.” _She’d tried so hard not to beg… but that is exactly what she is doing right now. Please. Please. Stay with me. Please._

 _I never wanted to hurt you. **I never thought it would come to this.**_ His eyes finally meet hers through his tears. “You said you can’t come back to Corona, and I couldn’t comprehend why. I understand now, Cassie… as much as I want to, I can’t stay here. I’m sorry.”

 _She didn’t think she was so invested in this that it would hurt so badly - but it did._ She watched his face for a few moments, memorizing every freckle, every tear that beaded on each impossibly long eyelash, _every speckle in those **impossibly blue** eyes…_

“Okay.”

She got up hastily, now avoiding his gaze as she tried to will herself not to bolt from the room as fast as she wanted to. I _t had all been for nothing. She’d be alone again and - maybe that was what she was meant for._

“Cass,” he choked out - she’s already halfway across the room.

_She wanted so badly to get out of here, to leave him in peace, to come to terms with the fact that she’d never be enough, not even for someone who **believed they were in love with her…**_

_This wasn’t how this was supposed to go._ “Cass, please. You - promised…”

 _What?_ Her body froze in place, mere steps away from where he’d stopped earlier.

“Y-you promised you wouldn’t - leave me alone tonight. No matter how the conversation went - **you p-promised** you’d stay.” His voice is broken, imploring, stricken - _he still wanted that?_ She braved a glance towards him - his hand is reaching out to her, his face in absolute despair. His eyes are pleading with her silently, and even though she still wants to run…

“I… I did. You - you still want me here?”

 _The answer to that question will **never be no.** Not as long as I live and breathe._ “It’s - more than that. I - I need you here. Please.”

_She doesn’t understand. But still… _

She turned back, making her way cautiously towards the bed. She climbed into those open arms, so protective and safe as they surrounded her. One hand slid beneath his neck, the other stretching down his back - _those petite shoulders that held so much more pressure on them than she’d ever realized. The weight of the world - not just his own, but every person he’d ever hurt._ Sighing deeply, she dimmed the magicked torches in the room.

 _Thank God she came back. I would not have been able to live with myself if she hadn't. It may be pushing my luck, but…_ he tilted his head upwards, planting his lips gently on hers.

 _He’d disappear forever in the morning - all she had left was tonight._ She pushed back against him, unable to keep the desperation from her kiss. Her hands wandered his body _(was it the last time they’d do so freely?)_ as she slipped her tongue between his **impossibly soft** lips…

_This was all he could ever want in the world. He’d never dreamt he could ever let it go - and honestly, he was unsure that he could. The resolve he’d felt so strongly earlier… The foundation was shaky at best. Was he in any way strong enough to walk away from the best thing that had ever happened to him? Somehow… he doubted it… _

She only pulled away when she felt a small, hopeful twitch coming from between his legs.

“It’s time to sleep,” she said softly, lips moving to peck gently at his perfectly round cheeks, his forehead and nose. He nodded silently, but continued looking at her, shuffling slightly to push himself all the closer; _so close, their bodies might as well be fused._

He stared at her for what felt like forever, memorizing every detail of her perfect - _beyond perfect_ \- face. His eyes are growing heavy, each blink growing longer and longer - _perhaps he should let them stay closed, just for a little while…_

His breathing deepens; exhaustion has finally taken him. She felt her own eyes growing heavy and, try as she might to fight it, to watch over him as he sleeps, _to keep him safe like she’d failed to do earlier_ \- it comes for her as well. Shifting slightly, she clutches him to her breast, her chin finding its resting place atop that perfectly fluffy head of hair. She needed to close her eyes for - just a moment, but finds she is unable to open them once they’ve shut. She smiled softly as sleep finally took her.

_She had promised, after all._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *quote from Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure, Secret of the Sun Drop Part II
> 
> Ooooh the feels 😭
> 
> WE'VE HAD ENOUGH!
> 
> More smut next chapter. 😊
> 
> You can follow me on Twitter! @DoomedShips


	8. Paradox

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra must deal with her failure, made all the worse by her new found feelings.
> 
> Varian needs to prove his love, once and for all.

The sun hit her face through the tower’s window, rousing her from sleep. Cass looked outside - _Jesus Christ, mid-morning already?_ She hadn’t slept in like this for - well, never. Not from what she could remember, anyways. She’d always risen with the sun, ever since she was a young child, bouncing and excited to go to work with her da- _the man who raised her._ She felt a body stirring slightly in her arms, glanced down and was overrun with memories of the previous night.

Varian. The - force she’d used against him. The acceptance of her offer, the phenomenal acts that followed _(all that - in one night \- from a virgin?!)_. The slow realization of her own feelings, the love he’d finally admitted to her… It was a bumpy ride on both ends, but they’d smoothed it over, so much so that she’d finally plucked her courage, asked him to stay, and…

_**He’d said no.** _

Her arms pulled tighter as she looked down sorrowfully at his sleeping face. _So young, so pure. More than a little obsessed with her, and yet… even that wasn’t enough. There was nothing left for her to try; he’d given his answer. She’d failed. Yet again._

His stirring grew all the more, and Cass wiped the disappointment from her face. His eyes open slowly, blinking blearily up at her with a mild look of confusion; as she watches the memories flood him as well, his face nearly splits in half with a smile.

“Good morning.”

“Morning. If you can call it that,” she responded, nodding her head toward the window.

“Mmm… it’s late. I haven’t -” he yawned, covering his mouth. “- slept that well in ages.”

_She’d never slept so deeply as she had in his arms - but that wasn’t something she could tell him. Not after…_

“I always wondered what it would be like waking up next to you,” he said slowly, almost to himself. His smile came back, and _God, that thing could melt steel if he directed it there._ “Nothing could ever compare.”

_He was only making this more difficult._

“Mmm.” She stroked his hair, wanting - just a few seconds longer. 

_Was she always this quiet in the morning?_ “Sorry, I must be rambling again. I just -” he sighed contentedly. “I can’t believe how lucky I am to be here. With you.”

 _Then why won’t you stay?_ “Mmm. I’m happy you’re here, Varian...”

His ears perked up at her tone and he fixed her with one of his classic analytical glances. _Shit. He was sharp in the morning too, huh?_

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah… I’m fine.” _She doesn’t want to talk about this. Not even a little._

 _You don’t sound fine._ His mouth opened to ask her what’s wrong, but closed again quickly as a tiny smile spread across his lips. _He had a better idea._

He pushed his face against her, planting tender kisses along her collar bone. _Couldn’t he see he was only making this harder?_ And yet, she allowed it. She allowed his lips to wander over her neck and cheeks, making their way to hers - _she’s surprised she didn’t scream out at the unfairness of it all when they finally met._ It’s almost - _intoxicating,_ in a way. She moved against him, slipping her tongue inside as his hands moved to grasp on her shoulders. 

_She shouldn’t._ She knows he’s leaving. The Princess would surely be here soon with some scheme to… ** _’rescue’_** him. She might even be outside this very moment, searching for a way to enter the tower.

 _But his body is responding so strongly to her._ She can feel his cock against her thigh, floating at half-mast already; her hands wander over him, running feather-light over his skin, and she can feel those tiny hitches in his breath so clearly against her lips. Opening her eyes, she finds him staring at her intensely, a desperate adoration clear in his expression as he pulled himself even closer…

 _This felt so different from last night._ The Truth Serum had faded from his system, taking with it any trace of - constraint, obligation. Her eyes were full of misery and rejection; _all he wanted in the world was to free her from that. To show her how wonderful and exhilarating each moment in her arms felt, to prove to her the intensity of his affection. For her to finally see the extent of his desire for her, to see herself as the **near-perfect being** he saw her as…_

What was the point of this? _He’d already turned her down - there was no purpose in seducing him further. She’d tried everything, given everything she had, and it still wasn’t enough… as much as she wanted to indulge herself, to feel him inside her one last time…_

She pulled back gently, speaking cautiously, worried she would upset him. “Varian…”

He interrupted her before she could get another word out. “ **Don’t.** Please.” His hand cupped her face, stroking her cheek while she refused to look at him. “I need you, Cassie. Please, can we - let’s ignore it. Just a little while longer?”

“I can’t just _ignore_ it, Varian.” She pulled her eyes back to him, and his heart broke from the sadness in them. “You’ve already said no, and I can’t -”

“I said no to staying here, Cass… **not to you.** I’ve never - _never_ wanted anyone more in my life, and I never will.”

 _Those strong declarations again - he was so young._ She smiled sadly to herself. “You’ll feel for… other people, Varian. Someday, maybe even soon. And it’ll be with someone who -”

_ So frustrating. Stop treating me like a kid. _

“ **I won’t.** Not the same way. I might fall in love, years down the line. Hell, I might get married and settle down someday, with someone else.” _God, he hoped not. It had to be her - his Cassie._ “It doesn’t matter. Whoever that person is… they’ll be nothing compared to you.”

 _Then why are you leaving?_ “You’ll feel differently then. Trust me -”

“Never. Cassie - I need you. Please.”

He moved up for a kiss, and _who is she to turn him down? So young and naive, so blissfully unaware of how the world works…_ her skin flared under his fingertips, and she finally gave in. She returned his kiss with vigor, her hand moving deftly down his body to fondle the erection prodding against her thigh. She gasped against his mouth with surprise as his own fingers beat her to the punch, running surely along her outer lips before sliding gently between them. Overcoming her shock, she smiled against his lips before her hand continued its path.

He pulled away from her mouth sharply. “ **No.** N-not me, not yet,” he breathed out quickly. Without waiting for a response, he returned, kissing her all the more.

Surprised again, she stopped, moving instead to rub along his torso as he worked her. His movements are not yet perfected, but they’d already grown better than last night - his mouth moved to devour her chest, and she can feel her desire warming all the more as she looked down at that beautiful tongue circling the soft underside of her breasts… 

_**I love you so much.**_ He’d thought it would be much more difficult to split his attention between the different areas, but with such a heavy need in his heart to pleasure her, _to prove himself,_ it is very nearly easy. Instead of the speed she’d demanded of him last night, he worked his fingers slowly to begin with, keeping a steady pressure as her body released its lubricant - he relishes in the increased heart rate he can feel pulsing against his face as his mouth continues working just beneath her breasts. He gradually, _gradually_ picks up speed - when she begins to grind against him, he slows to an excruciating snail’s pace - 

_She needed more. Now._ “Varian -”

He fights against being complacent with everything he has. “Cass - let me try. I w-want to learn how to - do it properly,” he pushed out; he forced himself to look up into her eyes. “Can I try? Please?”

_Fucking hell. All she wanted was to shove against him, maybe take that face for another ride… but there was so much longing in his eyes, such a hunger to learn her body, to know how to please her on his own…_

Her heart stuttered in her chest. “Okay.”

_He nearly cries out in gratitude._

Smiling widely, his mouth moves to her nipples, sucking them slowly and gently, switching between the two as his fingers start to move again. He paces them up slowly - soon, he has no need to move downward for the lubricant. Helped along by the fact, he starts experimenting with different speeds, _rejoicing internally at every single noise he manages to draw out from her._

 _This was… **so different** … she’d never felt anything like - this, before… God, she wanted him inside her already._ She shoves down her impatience as his fingers quicken again; _only they don’t stay that way, no matter how desperately she wants them to._ He’s started to switch things - paces, placements, the amount of pressure - _over and over again,_ pulling gasps from her that mingle with the moans, slowly but surely working her into **an absolute frenzy.** _She couldn’t stop the pleasured sounds he’s drawing out of her, not even if she’d wanted to._

He’s managed to push it even further; _she’s **practically dripping** from how wet she is._ He smiles proudly to himself as he looks up at her. Her eyes are closed, her mouth open as she pants for air, the most beautiful moans he’d ever heard pushing themselves steadily from her throat… _She is the absolute vision of perfection. I will never love another; I will never be able to find someone as wondrous as you._ His erection twinges painfully, _so desperate to be inside the blazing heat his fingers are surrounded with; to push himself into the **ever-familiar tenderness** of the beautifully perfect woman in front of him, **but he can’t - not yet -**_

 ** _I can’t. I can’t…_** Unable to form words, she moves her leg, throwing it over his hip - the movement has created a new angle for Varian, and he utilizes it so quickly that she must bite back a scream. **_So - fucking good, so much, she needs him inside -_**

 _There is much more space to work with like this; he is so happy she’d switched her position!_ Unafraid of his previous failure, now that he had so much room to move, he finally works up to the faster pace he knew she loved, staying with it this time. He rests his chin against her breast, nuzzling against her as he watches her face screw up in pleasure. _He wants her so desperately, it must be coming off him in waves. He needs her, he loves her, loves her more than anything he’d ever loved - **he needs to make her feel it.**_ Suddenly, her leg is curling, drawing him closer - his hips try to pull back against it, not wanting to indulge himself with her glorious body quite yet, _wanting to get her there before giving any thought to himself…_

**She can’t fucking wait any longer.**

“Get inside me. NOW,” she orders; _hoping desperately that he’d listen._ Pausing for a split second, she decides to allow the urgency she feels to colour her voice as she continued, “V-Varian - I need to feel you -”

Try as he might to fight it, his urge to comply wins out this time. _His queen has commanded it, and he has no choice but to follow._ He pulls his fingers away quickly, stroking himself with her juices as he finally lines up his painfully swollen dick with her entrance. Her leg curled suddenly, pushing him into her earlier than he expected, and _it’s all he can manage to not scream from how **perfect she felt **around him…_

Grabbing at his hair, she pulls his face to hers as they find their rhythm. She kisses him slowly to begin with, pacing her lips with the movements of their bodies - as he begins to thrust all the harder, she opens her eyes to see him, once again, watching her intently around his moans. Suddenly, she feels completely overcome by a desperate need - **_for reassurance._** _To confirm those thoughts she can see flashing in his eyes; to know that last night wasn’t just all in her head…_

“Tell me again - how you feel about me,” she directed, speaking against his lips.

 _For you, My Lady? **Anything.**_ He indulges her immediately, giving voice to every thought that had been going through his head repeatedly since they’d begun. _Since - that fateful day at the Science Festival, truth be told._

He speaks each and every word slowly and deliberately, wanting her to hear them clearly, _hoping fiercely that she will feel the impact of them._ “I-I love you, Cassandra. You are the most beautiful, exhilarating person on this planet. I want you to know that, as I know it. I’ll never find anyone like you. **You’re perfect.** The most perfect being to ever exist. I’ve n-never seen someone so amazing, n-never f-felt something so - _nygh_ -”

_He needs to stop - **he can’t come before her.** He’d gotten so caught up in telling her, he’d almost…_

She tightens her internal muscles around him, and he positively _shrieks_ from the pleasure. He stops moving, and she pauses for a quick moment - _but she can’t stop now._ She begins to move against him, setting an unrelenting pace, _desperate for her own release, hoping and praying he’ll be able to last, to make her orgasm before she pushed him over the edge -_

 _ **Don’t come, Varian!** Please, please, not yet -_ his hand shoves down hard, working its way quickly to try to find her clit. _As easy as it was before, it’s so difficult now, without any space to move. He’s filling her up already and she won’t stop pumping him so delectably fast -_

Seeing what he’s going for _(and quite impressed at the attempt)_ , she slows down and grabs his prodding fingers. He stops, allowing her to guide his hand and set him up before she begins grinding again.

Grateful for the assistance, he gets to work immediately. He can feel her trembling against him as he rubs her clit firmly - _he is trying so hard to keep up with her_. Within moments, he adds a second finger -

**_Fuck, yes, that was it, that was the perfect spot - _ **

_Even her **fucking screams are perfect.** I love her so much, I can’t - **I can’t…**_

She pulls his hair again, harder than intended though neither of them cared in the throes of their combined desire. His eyes flew to hers, completely drunk with pleasure.

**“Varian - come with me, come _now_ -”**

Their screams seem to harmonize as they release together. 

_He could only hope it was enough._

<~~~>

_That was… intense._ As Varian moved to pull himself from her, Cass grabbed his arm to stop him. Unable to form words through her panting, she pulled him against her, wrapping her arms tightly around his shoulders. _Not yet._

 _She. Was. **Glorious.**_ Tears pricked against his eyes as he looked at her, committing every single detail of this perfect moment to memory. _The soft draw of her lips; the detailed lines of her throat as her breath slowly comes back to her; the beautiful, slowly fading red that coloured her pale, porcelain cheeks, the sharply blue eyes that differed so deeply from the grey he still pictured in his mind…_

 _He certainly was beautiful, wasn’t he? Not the ‘classically handsome’ look, by any means - no, he was beautiful in a completely unique sense. His body was petite, all crisp lines and sharp angles that still somehow managed to be comfortable. Those freckles truly did spatter everywhere across his skin, though they were much more prominent on his cheeks - and those teeth added far more character to those pretty lips than she had ever realized. The subtle contrast of that blue in his hair… I wonder where he got it from._ About to open her mouth to ask him… the reality of the situation crashes into her suddenly.

 _As wonderful as that was… their time together was well past its expiration, now. She can’t afford to ignore that any longer._ Smiling sadly, she pulled her hips back, releasing him from inside her. _It truly was wonderful… she’d never felt anything quite like it. The most similar experience she’d had was during the rare moments of intimacy when it was just her and Rapunzel - even then, it wasn’t quite the same…_

Varian watched as that beautiful smile he adored so much slowly faded from her lips. His heart rate, which had only just become steady, picks back up as his eyebrows knit together in concern.

_She was unsure why, given the fact that her depth of feelings for him were nowhere near to the other two. Perhaps it was the fact that he truly believed every word he’d spoken - there was no doubt in her mind about it. But, if that were true… if he truly loved her, as he proclaimed, why wouldn’t he stay? If he wanted her so badly… this was the opportunity to have her to himself. He was either lying to himself, deluded or - she just wasn’t enough. She didn’t know which option was worse._

He can see her slipping away before his eyes. _Back into that horrendous self-doubt and disappointment from before. He’d tried so hard to show her… **what else could he do?**_

“Cassie,” he murmured gently, pulling her closer. “That was - incredible. You’re so -”

“Just - don’t, Varian.” As much as she tried to soften her voice, she knew it came out harsh. _She can’t deal with any more of this… her heart is heavy enough as it is._

“But… Cass, I -”

 _Please stop making this so ridiculously difficult._ “I know - you think, that you think that -”

 _What?!_ “No. **I know it.** You’re absolutely phenomenal. I’ve never -”

The plaguing thought escaped her lips before she could push it away. “If I’m so amazing, **why are you leaving?** ” _Shit._

_What? Had he not - no. He had explained it. Hadn’t he?_

His body stiffened, worry colouring his voice as he responded. “That - that has nothing to do with **you** -”

“How could it not, Varian?” She pulled away from him, up and out of his arms, sitting on the edge of the bed so he couldn't see the look on her face. “I’ve told you what I want - and you’ve refused. Seems like a pretty direct connection to me.” _Just like her. It’s time to stop deluding yourself, Cass._

_No. **Nonono.** He couldn’t bear her thinking he didn’t -_

His hand reached up to stroke along her back, trying to comfort her… _she didn’t need it._ She shrugged it off, stood up and stepped out of reach.

“Look, what we did was - fun. I had a great time, and I know you did too. But let’s just - move forward now, okay?” _She can’t look at him, can’t see the hurt on his face or her resolve will crumble._ She moved forward, searching for her clothes among the pieces scattered everywhere across the floor.

 _Fun? **FUN?!**_ He bit back tears, so thankful she wasn’t looking to see how distraught he must appear. _This had been - **life-changing** for him, and she was treating it like it was just… oh God._ The realization crashed into him with the force of an explosion. 

Unnerved by his silence, she risked a glance back at him - the troubled look on his face is quickly escalating to distress. She knows it shouldn’t bother her… _but it does._

_Just because this had been a dream come true for me, doesn’t mean it had been **for her.** She was - **fuck, Varian!** She was in love with someone else, two of them actually, she was very clear about not feeling the same towards you, **you don’t get to…**_

"Varian?"

Her voice snapped him out of his thoughts. His eyes met hers hastily, and as hard as he tried, he failed to mask the pain in them.

“Hey. Yeah, yeah, no worries, we can just - _ahem_ \- move along, no big deal.” His voice was so falsely positive, _he hated himself for it._

He jumped from the bed, thinking too late that she was up there already, looking for her own clothes, and _just fucking excellent, now he was invading her space_ \- standing awkwardly, he crossed his arms as his eyes wandered everywhere but her. She can practically see the thoughts whizzing by beneath them, and she wondered…

“Are you okay?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, I’m fine.” He shrugged exaggeratedly. _Something was definitely up._ Cass rounded on him completely, taking a few steps closer.

“What is it?”

“I told you, _it’s nothing_ -”

“Varian.”

He sighed forlornly before he tried to think of the words. He flinched hard as her hand encircled his forearm - _she’d been so silent moving towards him._

“Hey. Look at me.” Try as he might to fight it, his eyes meet hers. “Tell me.”

 _He might as well be under Truth Serum - and that might as well have been a question._ “I just - this wasn’t just some _thing_ for me, Cass. I know it was for you, but… it just hurt to hear you - say it. Like that. I guess.”

_Wait, what had she said? Something about the direct connection, and the - fun. Fun. Oh fuck, his first time and she went with - **fun?!**_

“Oh, God. Varian, I’m sorry -”

“No, no. It’s fine. I shouldn’t have - expected anything, I guess -” he laughed hollowly.

_Her guilt smothered any other feeling she might be having about this… everything._

“Hey. No.” She grabbed his face between her hands, giving him no choice but to look at her again. “I was being stupid, Varian, I wasn’t thinking - that wasn’t fair of me to -” He tried to interrupt her, but she will not allow it. “I shouldn’t have said that. And please don’t think this was - meaningless to me. It wasn’t.”

His eyes dropped down to try to hide his tears - _not that it did any good with her face this close to him._ “Cass, you don’t have to - I know you don’t feel the same way as me…”

Waiting for the bile to hit the back of her throat, she is surprised when it doesn’t come. _That queasiness she’d always felt… somehow, it did not apply itself here. Not anymore. Not with… him. Not that it mattered, anyway._ Sighing, she allowed herself to speak. _Plenty of time to look at the bittersweetness of this situation later._

“That doesn’t mean I don’t feel anything, Varian.” His eyes drew up in disbelief. “I’m not - I’m not there, yet. That isn’t even about you. It’s… everyone. I can’t do that yet. I can’t open myself up for those feelings right now. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t feel - anything, with you.”

He stayed silent, considering her imploring face. _He shouldn’t ask, it shouldn’t matter…_

“What - what did you feel, then?”

She smiled sadly at him. “It’s not going to change anything, so it doesn’t -”

“It matters to me.” _It really does._

She studied him closely. _Those tears glistening in his eyes - if it would stop them from falling, stop her from hurting him any more than she already had… **it was worth it.**_

 _How I feel with you, Varian? Safe. Comfortable. Warm. Secure. Like everything would be okay. For the purpose of this conversation, though, I’ll just stick with…_

“Happy.”

His heart leapt in his chest. _**There was something here.** It wasn’t just him; she was - she felt something. For him. Not the love he’d so desperately wished for, but anything was better than nothing!_ The fluttering in his chest quickly changed from joy to heartbreak as he realized it, just before she spoke it aloud… 

“And now you’re leaving.” Her fingers gripped him all the tighter for a few seconds - quickly, she pulled him toward her before she could stop herself, planting a kiss on his forehead. She spun away just as quickly, pushing the sadness _down, down, away…_

_He’d thought that heartbreak would make him cry; he cried so easily, after all. But - somehow - it didn’t. The pain was - too much to be conveyed by tears. They would provide him no release._

_He wants to fix this. He wants to go back to their perfect moment; and more than anything, he wants, so badly, to **stay**. To be with her forever; to wipe the sadness from her heart, to ensure she’d never feel it again. And yet - he was the cause of it, now. **This was his fault.** Try as he might to find the words to comfort her, to relieve her, **to take away the hurt** \- the words are never good enough. There is **nothing** he can do, **nothing** he can say… _

All that is left to him is to stare at the floor, in silence, as his heart is overrun with despair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS. WAS. HARD. TO. WRITE!
> 
> So bittersweet :'( I love these two SO MUCH.
> 
> This is the last of the smuttys for this work, FYI - just in case anyone is only here for that! (Which, honestly, no judgement if that's the case)


	9. Forsaken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra tries to fight against her regular coping mechanisms.
> 
> Varian uses his scientific skills to make deductions.

Dressing in silence was both a blessing and a curse. Sure, she wouldn’t have to deal with explaining the tumultuous mess going through her head right now - but it did force her to think of it all the more. She tried to reason with herself, tell herself this wasn’t a rejection, it was just - one of those things. _What kind of excuse is that, anyway? What exactly was ‘one of those things’?_

He tried so hard not to watch her. It felt - dirty, somehow. Invasive. Despite the fact that they’d just been entwined around each other’s bodies, for God knows how many hours… it all felt different now. _He wanted so badly to reach out, to touch her, to hold her_ \- but her silence, paired with the deliberate, quick actions of redressing, spoke volumes. _If there was anything, anything he could do to make this right…_

As Cass finished putting on her bottom layer of clothing, she unthinkingly waved her fingers, directing the armour forged of rock to fuse around her body once again. She heard a quiet gasp from Varian and began to turn, knowing he must be intrigued by it, full of a million questions - she caught herself. _What did it even matter now?_ Huffing through her nose, she headed to the door.

“I’ll be in the kitchen. Come down when you’re ready. We should eat.” She sounded unintentionally mechanical, the very same voice that happened every other time she began to shut down, any time she had to pull herself out of an uncomfortable situation. _She can just imagine his face at the tone…_

“Oh… okay, see you in a bit.” He gritted his teeth as she walked away, fully aware of how aggrieved he sounded. He dressed slowly; when he finished buttoning his vest, he sat on the edge of the bed. Tears pricked at his eyes as he reached for the goggles, placed carefully on the bedside table last night after… _Fucking hell._ Sorrow pierced into him - _he didn’t want to leave. **Not without her.**_

_Maybe I should stop fucking wallowing and figure out how to convince her to come with me._

Even though it feels nearly hopeless - _there is no possible way that he can give up now._ Squeezing his eyes shut, he threw a hand over them, plunging himself into darkness, trying to take a moment to think. As an alchemist, he’d fixed so many problems with his work by analysis and experimentation - _if he focused hard enough, he could solve this._

_Okay, Varian, think. What is the situation, objectively? What is it exactly you’re trying to fix?_

_He was in love with Cass. Cass wasn’t - in love with him, but she was willing to try and see what this could be… if he stayed. Which he couldn’t do. She was going down the wrong path. **The villain’s path.** He’d done that already, and it had failed spectacularly - but no matter how he tried to explain, she refused to acknowledge it. Hell, refused her acts could even be considered villainous. Perhaps… if he could just help her to see that? To see that what she was doing was wrong?_

_**No, no.** That would be seen as an attack no matter which way he presented it, and she was very vulnerable right now. Think, Varian, THINK… What other options are there?_

_He’d tried telling her how he felt. He’d tried showing her. He’d taken the damn Truth Serum voluntarily when she’d asked, given her his - **virginity,** for Christ’s sake. How was that not enough? Sure, she may think this was - casual, but for him? That wasn’t the case whatsoever. While he’d not been ‘saving himself’ by any means, he’d… well, that wasn’t quite true, was it? A part of him had always had Cassandra in the back of his mind… had always wanted his first time to be with her, and her alone. So much so, his romantic interaction with others had been minimal at best; even after she had left. Despite all that, the fact that they’d slept together hadn’t - changed anything. **Not for her, at least.** Though, to be fair, she didn’t exactly know any of this… _

_Ugh. That wasn’t helping anything; it wasn’t relevant. No use dwelling on it. Back to it. What else had he already tried?_

_He’d told her about how much he’d regretted his past; how much it had hurt him in the end. He’d told her how he thought she should proceed. Confronting past mistakes was a specialty of his, after all - he could help with that, if she’d accepted it. But - she hadn’t. She didn’t see the point of it; she felt as if the world was against her, and as much as he hoped… he didn’t really think she was wrong about it. There was a lot he didn’t necessarily think she was wrong about… that didn’t matter right now, though._

_He’d explained the most important reason why he wanted her back in Corona. How much everyone missed her. How much **he missed her**. How, if she could talk it out with Rapunzel, all would be forgiven - again, he had personal experience with that. He knew it was true. And so, he’d practically begged her to come back with him. She’d turned him down flat, said she couldn’t, not with how - **but wait.**_

His eyes flew open.

 _What if… I’m not a good enough reason for her to come back?_ His heart twisted bitterly in his chest; _but it was a possibility, wasn’t it? A probability, actually. What if… the way to get her back had nothing to do with him at all? What if the key to this puzzle didn’t lay with him? What if it didn’t even lay with her? What if it lay with… **with…**_

<~~~>

Cassandra bit her lip anxiously, staring towards the staircase. _He was taking an awfully long time up there, she wondered what… **stop it, Cass.** It’s not your place to wonder._ Giving her head a shake, she continued eating her food, eyes staring at the second, untouched plate in front of her. _He probably just needed some space to - accept it, I guess. Hell, she was grateful for it as well. At least there wasn’t the constant, nagging guilt lingering in the back of her mind when she wasn’t face to face with him._

**_Scratch that. It was still there._ **

Sighing frustratedly, she glared at the staircase now, willing him to appear. Unsuccessfully, of course; _well, she wasn’t going to go looking for him._ Finished with her food, she grabbed her water with unnecessary force and wandered to the throne room. She walked quickly towards the window, breath catching in her throat as she looked down for any sign of… _them_. Scanning meticulously, she saw no trace. The tightness in her chest loosened slightly - _nothing yet. Soon… but not yet._

Hearing Varian’s footsteps coming down the hall, she turns quickly, making her way back. They enter the room at the same time, and she can’t help but notice he appears breathless. _Strange… it wasn’t that long of a walk._

“Hey!” he greeted, a little too enthusiastically - she cocked an eyebrow.

“Hey… took you awhile, huh?”

“Oh… y-yeah, I was just thinking. Sorry.”

 _Fair enough. A lot had happened in the past twenty-four hours._ “It’s fine. Food’s on the table,” she replied, head jerking to the plate. He took it immediately, scarfing it down - she can hardly believe that, yet again, he hadn’t checked to make sure it was safe. _Not that she had, but it would be so easy to dose him again…_

He coughed slightly, pulling her out of her thoughts. He was looking near inquisitive at her between bites, and she had no idea why. _Oh._ She sighed internally, wishing she hadn’t - reacted so strongly in the bedroom earlier. _Maybe she can - try to make up for it now._

“Curious about the armour?” she asked, holding her arms out to give him a better view of it.

“Wh-what?”

“You look like you’re wondering about something. I assumed it was this.”

“Oh.” His eyes rounded slightly - _he’d been thinking about how best to open the discussion of his newest hypothesis with her._ He was intrigued by the armour as well, though - if things hadn’t been so tense before, he would have asked her immediately about it. “Yeah. It’s pretty magnificent. Do… do you mind if I…?” 

A half-smile played across her lips - _why not? They had time to kill, after all - there wasn’t even a glimpse of yellow hair when she’d checked._ “Sure. Inspect away, Professor.”

He flushed deeply at the title. “N-not - even close. I’m j-just an alchemist,” he stuttered out, causing a light laugh _(that rang out like Heaven’s bells)_ from her lips.

“It was just a joke, Varian. Now, hurry up, my arms are getting tired.” (They weren’t.)

He clapped his hands together, wiping the crumbs away as he approached. He gulped as he got nearer, staying a step back as he studied it.

“Wonderful… when did you first discover you could manipulate them like this?”

“When I first got the Moon Stone. It, um… well, I’m not quite sure how it worked,” she confessed. “I was - it was overwhelming me, the new power. And I guess I just - kind of had a thought about how useful the rocks would be as armour, and it - happened,” she finished weakly. _She had no idea how it worked - it just did._

“And what did you think, exactly? Just a broad, ‘I wish this was armour’, or…?” He walked around her now, fighting back the urge to touch it.

“Umm - yeah, I guess so. It was - kind of a while ago, but… I think it kind of just knew - what I wanted? I guess?”

“I see. So, while you don’t need detailed knowledge of what you’re forming, the Stone can perceive your thoughts; it forms a connection with the person who wields it, some sort of attunement, and acts on that person’s whims, regardless of - **fantastic** ,” he muttered, breathless once again. His fingers twitched outwards before he pulled his hand back quickly.

“Do you want to touch it?” she asked bluntly, causing another flush to rise to his face.

“Mmm - no, no, it’s okay, I don’t have -”

“I didn’t ask if you had to, I asked if you wanted to,” she replied, holding back a smile - _he was trying to fight it, but his curiosity far outweighed his attempts at courtesy. Besides, she didn’t mind at all - they knew each other’s bodies thoroughly at this point, and there was no need to pretend otherwise._

“Um - well - y-yes, if that’s - okay? But like, I don’t want to be - invasive, or -”

“Oh, please. We’ve seen each other completely naked… pretty sure I’ve got nothing left to hide.” _She didn’t think it was possible for him to grow redder, but it was - he was always surprising her._

His fingers shook as he reached out. He forced himself to look in her eyes, fear gripping his heart - _only to find her trying not to laugh._ “W-what? What are you smiling at?!”

“Nothing, nothing,” she said, shaking her head, unable to keep the humour from her voice. His lips pull into a tiny pout, and she can’t resist the smile that stretched across her lips. “You’re just so - you’re trying too hard. You don’t have to be - awkward around me, Varian.” _As endearing as it was._

“ **I’m not being** -” _ugh. He totally was._ “I just - don’t want to intrude. Or - overstep.”

“You’re not. Just - do what you want. Ask if you want something. Okay?” She considered him for a moment. “We’re still friends, right?”

“Y-yeah. Of course,” he said solemnly. Pausing for a moment, he reached a hand towards her. “So, I can…?”

“Yes. Touch it. Study away,” she replied, slightly exasperated.

With that, he did so, running his fingers gently over the mineral and muttering to himself. Cass was bored to tears within minutes, but tried her best to answer each question that sprung from his lips. She zones in and out of the conversation; though the very feel of his voice in her ears was… _comforting, in a way. Even if she wasn’t particularly invested in the words._

“OH! Dummy - I forgot to ask when we started. Can you feel when something touches the armour?” Varian asked sharply, pulling her back in.

“Hm? Oh - um... “

“Like - here, if I -” he poked her side. “Do the rocks - I mean, do they react at all with contact?”

“Um - yes, in a way. It’s not - I can’t feel it, like on my skin or… I don’t know how to explain it.”

His face shone with intrigue. “Can I keep trying, to see if you can describe it to me?”

“Yeah, sure,” she responded - _though he’d already started running his hand over it._ She smiled softly at his assumption.

“”So, here, if I -” he placed a hand on her stomach. “What do you feel?”

“Um - a hand?”

“Close your eyes!” he yelled - she cocked an eyebrow amusedly at him, causing a flush. “Sorry - um, c-can you close your eyes? You might be able to describe it better if you can’t see what I’m doing.”

“All right…” _Don’t know how that logic makes sense, but sure?_ She closed her eyes.

Varian peered at her closely before placing a finger on her arm. “Anything?”

“Um… yeah. I can - well, I don’t feel it, but I can sense that your finger is on my right upper arm. And I could feel it just before you placed it -”

“ **Really?!** Before it even landed?! What does it feel like?”

“Like… ummm... “

While she is distracted, he removes his finger, moving his other hand to cup around her waist.

“You’re about to touch my waist,” she said, completely missing the ecstatic look on his face. “It’s like - a vibration, I think? Well, not quite that - more of a… hmmm.”

He dropped his body down quietly, moving a hand forward slowly. About half an inch before he made contact - 

“Going for my knee, now. It’s like - you know when someone walks close by you, and you feel the air from their movement? It’s kind of like that, I guess. Sorry - I’m kind of useless at this,” she said with a small laugh as she opened her eyes.

“Oh, quite the opposite!” he said earnestly. “You’ve perfectly described completely new information!! The rocks that have forged into the armor are so in sync with you, that they’ve actually allowed you to develop some sort of - sixth sense, in a way. In terms of your defense, the benefits of this are **astronomical!** Being able to sense contact before something even touches you would allow for -”

She can’t quite process the rest of what he’s saying; she is far too distracted as she looks down at him, _on his knees in front of her, his hand wandering slightly up her thigh and such an eager look on his face…_

**_No. Fucking - just no, Cassandra!_ **

“Mmm. My legs are getting kind of tired, can we take a break?” she asked, lying through her teeth.

“Yes, yes, of course! Thanks for letting me - you know. This is just so fascinating, the extent of your control over such a difficult medium is phenomenal. Especially considering the attunement piece, because that requires a very specific thought process on your end. Though, given how intuitive your fighting style is, I suppose it doesn't necessarily mean that - ” he stopped his rant, realizing he’s blabbering. He smiled up at her; it faded slightly as he saw her face full of… _what was that?_

“No worries,” she replied shortly. She offered a hand to him unconsciously, only realizing her mistake after he took it. Pulling him up, they stood face to face now, much closer than before. _Those blue eyes of his are - breathtaking._ Her heart panged strongly in her chest.

 _She hadn’t let go of his hand… which must have something to do with that look she’d had._ “Cass,” he murmured softly. “I -”

“Mmm-hmm,” she hummed distractedly, quickly letting go as she puts some small amount of distance between their bodies. _Why was her body responding so strongly to him? Had it missed the fucking memo that this wasn’t happening?_ Her eyes studied his face again, hoping he hadn’t realized where her mind had just gone - he looked flustered. An anxious hand runs over his scalp, and _the desire for it to be her own hand feeling how surprisingly soft his hair was, flared strongly…_

“Can I - ask you something?” he requested nervously.

“Of course. What’s up?” She’s trying so hard to be nonchalant, though it wouldn’t be easy to miss the higher pitch of her voice.

“Did you - when you - it’s kind of personal.”

“More personal than having sex with me?” she blurted out teasingly… _and regretted it **immediately**. What the fuck, Cass?!_

“Umm… no? Maybe? D-depends how you look at it,” he answered earnestly, cheeks red.

“I’m guessing not. Go ahead.”

 _Right. Directly to the point, then._ “You - you said before, that you were in a relationship with - with Rapunzel… and Eugene, right?”

 _That… was unexpected._ “Yes,” she answered shortly, face darkening. _Why are you bringing that up?_

“So… when you and R-Rapunzel fought, after you got the Moon Stone… w-w-what happened with him?” _If this were it - he had no idea how he’d missed this before -_

“Eugene?” she barked out. “Nothing at all. He was there when I got it, but as soon as I… “ she trailed off. Her mind flashed back, no matter how much she hated herself for it.

_The three of them had gone into the room together; Rapunzel had embraced them both before walking towards the Moon Stone. Eugene had turned to Cass as she’d gone, reaching out a hand to her - an irregular moment, but Cass had taken it, given there was no one else around. She hated PDA, even though the group they’d travelled with knew about their relationship._

_He’d pulled her into his arms and kissed her deeply. She’d certainly enjoyed those kisses - and she knew he did as well. They’d never had to - hold back with each other. Never concerned about toeing any lines - it all came down to instinct, between the two of them._

_When he’d pulled back, Eugene had looked down at her as he held her, flashing her that stupidly-handsome, ridiculously-beautiful smile of his - there was such a heavy amount of pride in his eyes. And - in that moment, she recognized… that none of it was directed at her. It was all for - Rapunzel. For her - fulfilling her destiny. A destiny that could have… **should have …** belonged to Cass._

_His mouth had opened to speak, but she had pulled out of his arms before a word was uttered._

“As soon as you took it?” Varian asked, interrupting her thoughts. He’d tried to stay quiet, given the contemplative look on her face; but decided to interrupt as soon as that look turned into anger.

“Hm? Yeah… yeah. As soon as I took it, he -” _his look of rage when she’d accidentally knocked the Princess back much harder than she’d intended to, showed clearly in her mind’s eye._ “Well, let’s just say he didn’t take it well.”

“And did - did he try to stop you? F-from running away, like - Rapunzel did?”

Cass sneered. “In a manner of speaking. He… reached out for a second. Just a second -'' _And she had knocked that hand away as she’d ran past it; like she should have done in the moments before. Though, really, she’d knocked - Eugene himself away, truth be told… she’d had no control over the rocks whatsoever at that point._ “He stayed behind when Raps followed me, if that’s what you’re asking.”

 _Just as I suspected, they haven’t… have they?_ His heart raced in worry from the anger in her eyes - _but he had to keep going._ “So… you haven’t - haven’t talked to him much since? Like, I know you did at the p-party, but you two haven’t -”

“What, discussed it?” she asked, voice completely coloured in sarcasm. “There’s nothing to talk about. He’s always been there for her. Not me. I was never a factor in their relationship.” _Was he expecting anything more from him? Because she certainly shouldn’t have._

 _That last sentence… it sounded more like a quote than her own words. Like she was - repeating something._ His eyebrows quirked together as he studied her. “But, if you were all together, then wasn’t -”

“No,” she said forcefully. “It wasn’t. It was always Rapunzel and Eugene. I was just too stupid to see it.” She paused, watching him closely - _the kid somehow managed to look scared and curious at the same time._ Taking a deep breath, she tried to even out her voice before continuing - _this wasn’t his fault, after all._ “Look, Varian, I know it sounds a little - complicated. It’s not, really, when you break it down. He chose her. He always chose her. He never even tried to - **listen** to my side, because why would he bother when his precious Sunshine wanted something?”

“But h-how do you - know that? If you never talked about -”

“Why do you think every little thing can be solved by talking?” she snapped. “What, we just - sit around in a circle, everybody gets a turn to say how they feel? Here’s a little lesson for you, Varian - it doesn’t matter _how_ people _feel._ All that matters is who has the power. _Their_ words, _their_ feelings, _their_ actions - they mean more than everyone else’s.”

He looked stricken. “Cass, come on - you know Eugene at least as well as I do. Underneath all that bravado, he really does care -”

 **“Not about me,”** she said through gritted teeth. “And I’m _really_ done with this conversation.”

She spun on her heel, stomping away - _**and the kid has the audacity to follow her.**_

 _This was it, he can feel it. He just needed to get her to **hear him.**_ “This whole time, I thought your anger was directed at Rapunzel… I was wrong though. It’s not just her - Eugene _really_ hurt you, and you don’t even know why.” Her steps sped up as she tried to escape his words. “If you just - **if you two,** at least, were able to talk about that, if you could get some closure -”

 **“I don’t need closure!** I don’t fucking need **anything** from either of them! I don’t need anything from **anyone.** All I needed was that incantation, and I have it now.” _Fuck. She hadn’t meant to say that part out loud._ His footsteps froze as a pained gasp escaped his mouth - she can feel the familiar guilt bubbling inside, but she chooses to ignore it. “Now **I** have the power. And you know what? That’s all it’ll take for them to finally see me as - as…”

“An equal?” His words managed to punch her in the gut. “You never needed the **damn Moon Stone** for that, Cassandra. You’ve always been -”

“Just because you think I’m this - amazing, reverent being, doesn’t mean others view me as anything even -”

“So… is that it? Is that - what you want?” His voice has fallen quiet, and she stopped dead in her tracks. “You want - to be seen as, what, **better?** More desirable?”

“No. **Of course not.** I just… I just want…” She huffed, trying to find the words. “I want people to recognize my strengths.”

“And how do you know if they do? You won’t even try -”

“All I need is the looks on their faces when I _prove them wrong._ ” He fell silent; she dared not turn around to see the disappointment on his face. “And I’m going to get that today. They must be on their way right now - within the next few hours, I’ll make them pay.”

_He bites back tears; a clear picture of his father encased in amber; the loneliness he’d felt when no one would **just fucking help him ; **how badly he wanted to make them pay for it…_

His voice was heavy when he responded. “It won’t make you feel any better. **Trust me.** I know.” _Better than anyone._

“We’ll see about that.” Just as suddenly as it had appeared, the anger dissipated from her body. _He was trying so hard to convince her, just as she’d tried to convince him last night. Neither of them was at fault, here… but neither of them would succeed. They truly stood on opposite sides of this… all she could do was accept that and move on. She could, at the very least, keep him out of harm’s way - she owed him that much._

Her shoulders slumped, and she sighed heavily. “Look… I know none of this is your fault, and I don’t want to hurt you. So when Rapunzel comes for you, don’t try anything foolish.”* _Don’t try to stop me._

_If she truly didn’t want him involved in this, she would not have dragged him into it so thoroughly. He couldn’t bear the thought of standing back and doing nothing, of her hurting his friends and - **worst of all **\- hurting herself. If she kept going - if she continued down this path that she was so convinced was her destiny… **he would lose her forever.** He couldn’t live with that. He had to convince her. And since this attempt wasn’t working, well… he’d just have to try the plan he’d discarded in the first place._

Steeling himself, he walked towards her, each step full of purpose.

“Cassandra, _you’re angry,_ I get it. Believe me, I know what it’s like! But you are making a mistake…”*

*cue Nothing Left To Lose**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * quotes from RTA, Season 3, Episode 14 Cassandra's Revenge Part II
> 
> OH. MY. GOODNESS!
> 
> Honestly - go listen to Nothing Left to Lose immediately. Watch it, if possible! It brings this chapter to life!
> 
> In fact, here you go!
> 
> https://youtu.be/hkZEpNsw6zA
> 
> AND I AM SO SORRY IF YOU WERE EXPECTING SOMETHING ELSE! But honestly, I just - couldn't. 😂


	10. Shattered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra can see nothing but the vengeance in front of her.
> 
> Varian will do what he must to save her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go!
> 
> About this chapter - I am still pretty new to writing fic, and I wanted to experiment with this style.
> 
> Varian's perspective is in Italics, and Cass is regular font.
> 
> I've added a ********** break when this stops being the case.

_You’re hurt. You’re angry. You’re scared. I want to help... please, just let me._

  
He didn’t know what he was talking about. How could he? He was still a child... she never should have expected more from him.

  
_I can fix this. I can fix this. **I can fix this.**_

  
You’ll never know how it feels. I was stupid to think you’d understand. How could you?

  
_She… she hit him. She’d knocked him down with the rocks, but he wasn’t giving up that easily. Cassandra… you’re so much more than this…_

  
I warned you to stay away. Out of harm’s way. But you won’t listen.

  
_You can’t just cast me aside. **I won’t allow it.** You need to come back to us… I just need to make you see…_

  
If you won’t listen… I will **make you listen.**

  
<~~~>

She’d thrown him away, locked him away, pushed him away, done **everything in her power** to get him away from her… but her mind would not stop thinking about his words.

  
_This… can’t be the way it ends… no, I can’t accept that. She needs me. **She needs me.** Doesn’t she?_

  
Who the hell did he think he was? All his prattle about talking things through with Rapunzel… did he really expect that to work? He was just like her.

_It’s fine, Varian. Sure, she’s locked you in a floating prison, hundreds of feet in the air… that doesn’t mean you’ve lost her completely. It doesn’t._

  
His ridiculous allegations about Eugene. **Eugene** , of all people. Ridiculous… she didn’t need…

  
_What… what else could he have done? No, no, what else could he do? Don’t… use the past tense… **you can still fix this…**_

  
Surely not. They had certainly - enjoyed each other, of course. Sarcastic jibes, teasing, a little competition now and then for Rapunzel’s attention…

  
_He couldn’t… he wouldn’t accept it. Cassandra… Cass… **Cassie… please…**_

  
Their sex life had been amazing, she had to admit. Very - attuned, very adventurous. He was much, uh, better than the Princess, truth be told. If she had to choose.

  
_It was… cold out here. Windy. I just… want to be in your arms again._

  
Rapunzel, at least, had followed her. She had chased her all the way to the bridge, trying to convince her to… well, hand the Moon Stone over. But… more than that. To convince her to stay.

  
_I’m sorry. I’m sorry I disappointed you. Please, just let me back inside… **I’ll be good.** Please…_

  
Eugene… he just didn’t care, did he? That single second of reaching out for her didn’t count for much… she knew the truth. He’d let her go happily. Not a single ‘I love you’ or ‘Don’t go’… he was probably just waiting for the chance to have Rapunzel to himself again.

  
_Okay. Okay, I get it. You just - need some space, don’t you, Cassie? It’s okay, it’s fine… I can give that to you._

  
That fucking rogue. He’d certainly tricked her, hadn’t he? She’d thought - he’d cared, that the three of them were in this together… but she was never of any importance to him.

  
_A fresh mind can solve any problem. If it were true in alchemy, it must be true for this. Perhaps… if I sleep it off, a little. Maybe that’ll help me find the answer._

  
Closure, you say, Varian? No. I think it’ll be best if I just remove him from the picture completely.

  
<~~~>

  
_**I can still save her!** That - little girl… she said I could still save her. To find the fourth incantation… use the… sun… what did that mean?! That… that dream… it was fucking terrifying, and it wasn’t just a dream. **I know it wasn’t.**_

  
The blue ghost was right. Stop putting it off, Cass. Let them in… and don’t give them a chance to get out.

  
_**THE SUN!** My goggles! Come on, come on... Fuck, I knew I should have replaced the lenses last week… RAPUNZEL?! EUGENE!!!_

  
Time to reveal myself. God, these rocks are amazing… a good entrance never gets old. Now, let’s do this - **Rapunzel.**

  
_Oh man, Flynn - erm, Eugene was so cool. So brave, coming across all that open space… I would have fainted._

  
Still trying to **talk** to me, huh? Let’s get some space from the boys - I can’t wait to see the look on your face when you see my new powers.

  
_We’re running out of time, we need to save Cass! Come on, **come on!** OH GOD DON’T DROP THE CRYSTAL! Phew, that was close. Now - focus the beam on the paper - it’s working, IT’S WORKING! Shit, it’s working TOO WELL, I left the fucking crystal in one place too long! **NONONO, FIRE!!!!** Memory - remember the symbols, **COME ON VARIAN!!!!**_

_I-I did it. I did it?! **I have it!** The fourth incantation… I need to get it to Rapunzel. The ghost said the Sundrop must use it… against the Moon Stone’s power. To save Cass. She… she wants to save her, right? Fl-Eugene is praising me, **I love when he does that** … and oh. He… he has a point. How the hell do I get out of here? And how do we get back inside?!_

  
**How fucking dare she…** thinking she knows who I am more than I do? We will fight, Princess. And Eugene will get just what he **deserves.**

Varian… **please** , stay out of the way like I asked.

  
_She… she’s pulling us back in. Oh God… I’m so scared. **NO, VARIAN.** Cassandra needs you - needs you to be brave, needs you to make the tough choice. She won’t see it now, **but she will.** Eugene… I’m scared. Please… lend me some of your courage..._

  
She’ll fight me. For him. He always picked sides, he always chose **you over me** … I’ll make you accept who I am now, **finally,** and get rid of Eugene at the same time. What did Ghostly Girl say earlier? Two birds, one stone.

  
_Of course she left him locked up. She didn’t want him in here… she told him to stay out of the way. She didn’t… want to hurt him. I-I don’t want to hurt her, either, but this is **the only way to save you, Cassie.** Rapunzel… the final incantation. The only - the only way… to save our girl..._

  
Another… incantation? What did you do, Varian?! And you - you gave it to **her?!**

Fuck… it doesn’t matter. I’m stronger than her, even if she has another stupid power… and now everyone will know that.

  
_She doesn’t want to fight, but It’s the only way… I’m not giving up on you, Cassie. There is nothing you can do to make me stop caring about you. **NOTHING!** I’ll do whatever I have to do… to save you._

  
This… it can’t be. How is she beating me?! And for him, of course - her precious Eugene. No. Nonono **NO!!!! VARIAN!!!! What the fuck did you do?!**

  
_I’m sorry. It… it was the only way. You’ll see - once you’re safe. You’ll forgive me._

  
Another **fucking** incantation… and you gave it to Her. **I never should have trusted you**.

  
<~~~>

  
The explosion’s blast, created by the clash of the Sun and Moon Stone, is unavoidable. Cassandra looks up frantically as her body is launched into open air - instead of securing an escape route, they meet Varian’s. Her eyes widen in horror as his scream reaches her ears; she loses sight of his body as he falls out the opposite side of the tower.

> **NOOOO!!!!**

_His screams echo in the air around him, unheard by anyone. There was no way out of this - this was it. His tears are carried away as they fall by the velocity of the wind. I’m sorry, **I’m so sorry Daddy.** Cassie, **Cassie…** I knew I’d love you until my last breath…_

There was no way he’d survive that fall. This was her fault. **All her fault.** His light was extinguished from this world; by her very own hand, it had been doused. His hopes, his dreams… she’d destroyed them all. She should have known she would. She should never have touched him… **everything she touched was doomed …**

  
**********

  
The force of his fall is broken by someone - their body shakes from the impact, but somehow, **_somehow_** , Varian is unscathed. _How am I still alive?! She - she must have caught me, like when I fell from the horse yesterday! God, that feels like a lifetime ago - I can’t believe she pulled this off. She kept me safe, she must have! She... **she chose me, again! **She somehow managed…!_

Voice full of hope, he managed to push out a shaky, “Cassie?!”

“Varian! See, here he is… and I led us right to him!*” a deep voice booms out. Varian’s eyes slide into focus, seeing broad, impossibly large arms encasing him. _That… that isn’t right, her arms - are they swollen?! Is she okay?!_

He looks up into the beaming face of the giant, kind, dependable man who’d broken his fall. “L-Lance?” The realization that he’d been caught _not by her… but by Lance…_ processed slowly in his brain - the pained shriek that leaves him is near inhuman.

“It’s me, buddy. Not Cassandra. Don’t worry. She won’t ever hurt you again. You’re safe now! We rescued you!”

Lance adjusts himself, pulling Varian closer, arms circling protectively around his body. Unable to form words, Varian leans into his neck, sobbing all the while.

<~~~>

The guilt attacks her with every second that passes, pumping through her veins with rage. Forming a platform of rock to land on, she immediately launches herself to the edge, tears falling freely down her face… _no, no, no, he couldn’t be gone - Varian, please don’t be…_

 _ **Oh my fucking God.** It’s a miracle!!!_ She sees Varian, somehow impossibly whole, clinging to Lance’s neck as he cries his heart out. With no one to see it, she feels safe enough to allow her own tears to fall, relief sweeping through her, mingling with her guilt, anger, betrayal… **_heartbreak…_**

_He was safe. He was safe with his friends - and he’d be all the safer with every step away from her._

She knows their paths would inevitably cross… he was committed to the place she’d vowed to destroy. _**It didn’t matter, though.** She’d never harm him, ever again… and the best way to do that was…_

Even from here, she can see the distinctive blue stripe in his hair. She can picture those shockingly blue eyes so clearly… she holds her fingers to her lips, tossing a kiss in his direction. _Unseen, yes, but she hoped desperately that he would feel it, somehow._ The tears have ebbed their flow, and she wiped them away slowly. She takes a deep breath as she watches Lance turn to carry him back inside the tower, hastening to escape the clearing.

_That was it. One final look. **Goodbye, Varian.**_

Her eyes pull upwards, studying the tower as she deliberates how best to climb back up to the top. Ghostly Girl would be waiting for her to recoup.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *quote from RTA E14 Cassandra’s Revenge Part II
> 
> OH MY GOD DID I JUST -
> 
> What a ride!
> 
> This is a perspective piece on the thought processes behind everything that happened after Nothing Left to Lose. I hope it all makes sense.


	11. (Dis) Connected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra and Varian must get through their parting of ways.

He’d spent the trip back so far in silence - Rapunzel and Eugene kept trying to _talk to him,_ questioning him incessantly about what happened while he’d been… _away_. Couldn’t they tell that he wanted to be left alone?! 

Eventually, he’d had enough. He’d ran up ahead of the group, desperate to escape their voices. He moved quickly, not wanting them to catch up, despite his muscles aching from the exertion - the remainders of last night were far more prevalent than he would have expected. _His thighs were absolutely burning, not to mention his stomach - **and his nipples.** They hadn’t hurt much earlier, but they were - tender. And now, with the constant chafing of his shirt as he walked… GOD, did they ache. Still, the physical pain was much more preferable to the constant, insistent reminder of Cassandra that beckoned with every step. The beautiful smirk on her face as she played with them, her prodding fingers and eager lips, her gently teasing voice - _

He jolts as a hand gently encases his shoulder, and _now he’s really pissed off._ “Eugene, if you try to ask me one more time what happened, **I swear I’ll** -”

“Hey, buddy. Just me,” Lance said soothingly. “Not asking anything - just wanted to walk with you.”

“Oh.” He looked into those soulful brown eyes; _given that he wasn’t trying to mask it at all, the amount of worry in them was now concerning Varian_. “I’m - I’m fine, Lance. No need to worry about me.”

“It’s kind of hard not to. You were just kidnapped, Varian… don’t talk about it yet, though, if you’re not ready. Like I said, I just want to walk with you. If that’s okay.”

“It’s… fine, I guess.”

They continued walking in silence; Varian, deep in thought, and Lance, an unsure but steady presence at his side.

Varian wallowed; _it seemed as if every recent memory was tinged with sadness now. He’d tasted - happiness, maybe for the first time in his life; at the very least, the first time since he’d - turned. And now? She was gone. He let her slip away; and all he can taste is regret. _As the tears pressed up a third time, Varian gritted his teeth painfully. He didn’t want to cry here - not in front of Lance. _Not again._ He needed something… something to distract himself. Knowing himself, of course, he knew his thoughts wouldn’t leave Cassie; _he needed to find some good in there. Somewhere, something - untainted..._

His fringe fell down yet again, and he brushed it away impatiently. His hair frequently had a mind of its own, but today it was just - _ridiculous._ It was practically waving in front of his face, the damn blue streak most of all - no matter how many times he brushed it away, it refused to stay.

As he moved to shove it back, he pondered the blue for the millionth time. _According to dad, it had come from some long-forgotten alchemy experiment, back when he was small - so small, he must have crawled to whatever element had given it to him. It was a thinner texture than the rest of his head, which made it all the softer. Not quite as soft as - Cassandra’s. Though… surprisingly similar… if he hadn’t been so distracted with the armour, maybe he could have examined hers. Both of them had blue in their hair now, though hers was a full head of it, and much brighter. Hmm, come to think of it - his did seem considerably lighter right now - in the sunlight, he supposed._

_As desperate as it seemed - it was nice to think of their near-matching locks as some sort of - connection, he thought sadly. Even though her own had come about rather more in the way that Rapunzel’s had. While Cassandra’s hair wasn’t unbreakable, that he knew of, at least, he wondered what properties it did hold - there had to be more. Many more. The Moon Stone, previously unexamined, completely unknown in the realm of science; how many secrets he would have been able to uncover from it with his alchemy… _

_Not that he’d ever get a chance to do so now._

Eugene’s voice pulled him from his thoughts as he sped up to catch them; Varian’s heart started beating heavily as resentment coursed through him at the sound.

“Wow, you guys must be _really_ looking forward to getting home, you’re moving so fast -”

“Nuh-uh, Eugene. He doesn’t want to talk to you,” Lance said quickly, pulling a step behind Varian, providing a physical barrier between the men.

“What? No way, Varian loves me! Go on, tell him, kid!”

Varian stayed silent, anger seething just below the surface. _Out of everyone - HE was the last one he wanted to talk to. If it weren’t for him, she would be here right now… Varian would never have failed to save Cassandra if Eugene hadn’t hurt her so badly in the first place -_

“Ummm, Varian, come on. You _know_ you want to tell me about what -”

“ **SHUT UP!!!** ” Varian exploded before he could help himself. Guilt bubbled up as he attempted to rationalize with his own mind - _it wasn’t Eugene’s fault_ \- but he’s too busy trying to stop himself from crying again to formulate an apology. His hair fell down, and Varian leaves it for the moment, happy for the blocked view.

“Leave him alone, Eugene.” Lance’s voice, usually jovial, carried a weighty warning in it. “He needs space.”

“But why do you -”

“Because I’m not _pestering him._ Now go.”

“Sheesh, fine. We’ll talk - later, I guess.” Reprimanded, Eugene stopped and waited for the rest of the group.

Once he was sure he was gone, Lance matched pace with him again.

“Thanks… for that,” Varian said as he brushed the streak back. _Short and sincere - the tears were still pressed against his throat, and he didn’t want to risk talking too much._

“No problem. He means well, but he can be… pushy.”

They continued walking in silence. Just before his thoughts shifted away, back to Cass _(where they belonged)_ Varian marvelled for a moment at _just how little_ Lance expected from him. _He was so - grateful for that._ To be alone with his thoughts, while not being _alone_ … it was all he could have asked for.

They continued along exactly like that until Corona came into view.

“Hey.” Lance’s voice startled him - he looked over automatically. “I know you probably just want to get home, see your dad -”

_Oh God. He couldn’t face him. Not… not yet._

Lance continued. “ - but if you want, we’re doing a - birthday thing for Eugene when we get back. Just cake, in Rapunzel’s room - just us and the girls. Not a huge thing.”

“Pretty sure they’ll just - interrogate me there, too, so…” His eyes fell to the ground forlornly.

“Not if I don’t let them.” Varian heard the smile in his voice as he continued. “Besides, you know Eugene - loves being the centre of attention, that guy.”

Varian chuckled lightly for a split second - he stopped immediately as pain seared his heart. _He shouldn’t be fucking **laughing **right now. Cass was back there, all alone, he’d **hurt her** … FUCKING HELL, I NEED TO FIND A DAMN HAIR BRUSH._

“Wow. She really did a number on you, didn’t she?” Varian glared at Lance, a hand frozen mid-brush on his forehead. “Sorry! Sorry. Not talking about it. I forgot. But - I’d really like it if you came with us. And I know the others would, too. We were really, _really_ worried about you, buddy. And… we’re your friends. We want… well, yeah. It’d be great if you came.”

 _Celebrating now? He had nothing to celebrate… it felt like he’d never feel happy again._ About to turn him down, he looked up at him. Strong, dependable Lance - his friend. Who had saved his life just hours ago. _He - owed it to him, he supposed._

“All right. I’ll - come with. For a little bit.”

Lance grinned; Varian returned the gesture with a pained smile. They walked in silence for a few more minutes - as they approached the bridge, Lance coughed to get his attention one more time.

“So… just so you know… if you ever want to talk - no pressure, of course, but if you need someone to just listen -”

“I know.” He stared at the ground intently. As they walked over the bridge, his blue eyes linked with his friend’s warm brown ones. “I will… when I’m ready. Don’t worry about me.”

Moving slowly, cautiously, Lance put an arm around his shoulder. He pulled him into a side hug when Varian didn't jerk away. “You’re my friend, Varian. I’ll always worry about you.”

<~~~>

“Come now, Cassandra - aren’t you happy I’ve been freed?”

Cass glared at her formerly blue companion’s form; now that she was solid, she found it increasingly difficult not to punch her in her stupid, lying face. “Happy?! You didn’t - you didn’t fucking tell me this would happen. **Why on earth would I be happy?!** ”

“Now, now - no need to swear. Let’s take a deep breath and have a civilized conversation -”

“ **CIVILIZED?!** You fucking lied to me, you don’t get to -”

“I did not lie. I just didn’t reveal - everything.”

“Same thing.”

“Well, _you_ certainly didn’t seem to think that when it came to the alchemist.”

Cass’ rebuttal fell from her lips. _Varian… at least he was safe, now._

Her mentor took advantage of her silence. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to get your hopes up, Cassandra. I thought about what a nice surprise it would be for you -”

Her anger flared again. “Yeah, right. And it just so happens you were pushing me into the fight **knowing** I would lose -”

“No, no. The clash of the Stones was needed to free me; I had no idea what the outcome of the fight would be. I truly thought you would have bested the Princess, but…”

Cass can feel the disappointment in her gaze, and her eyes dropped to the floor. _It wasn’t planned, then… she just wasn’t - good enough. Again._ She crossed her arms uncertainly. _She… for some damn reason, her body is craving a touch… Varian’s hands were so warm…_

Her companion sighed - Cass’ eyes met the now-purple pupils hesitantly. “It’s quite alright, Cassandra. You just - weren’t ready yet, I suppose. But now that I’m here, really and truly here… things will be better, now. You’ll see.”

Cass turned quickly, pacing to relieve the pent-up energy. _It’s not like she had any desire whatsoever to get that touch from **her.**_ “You - you know the blast pushed me out the window, right? And… and Varian, too, he nearly died -”

“Oh my. I had no idea! Thank the gods you can take care of yourself… and the alchemist, too? Well, his death is not - not the worst thing that could have happened, I suppose -”

Her eyes snapped upwards. Rage flowed off of her in waves as her voice deepened, holding far more than just a threat. “What - the - **fuck** \- did you just say?”

“ **Cassandra.** The alchemist discovered the fourth incantation, and chose to give it to the Sun Drop instead of you. Pardon me if I find that inexcusable.”

She gritted her teeth, hard enough to be painful. “It’s not - like that, he was just -”

“Oh? Making excuses for _him_ , now, are we? You seem to be falling into old patterns…”

“I’m - I’m not, I just know Varian didn’t -”

“ _Open your eyes_ , Cassandra. **He betrayed you.** He’s chosen the Princess’ side, which puts him in direct opposition to our goal.”

_No… no, this is Varian we’re talking about here. He’d never do anything to - to hurt me…_

“ **Our plan didn’t work,** ” she continued, unrelenting. “He would have been a powerful ally, it’s true - but, given his choice - that now makes him a powerful enemy. One we will have to **take care of** -”

“ **NO.** I _won’t_ \- he’s not my enemy, he’s -”

Her companion sighed condescendingly. “Oh, Cassandra… I know it hurts, but it’s the truth. If you’re not ready to see that… well, I suppose we have a bit of time for you to come to terms with the facts.”

 _That’s enough of that._ Cassandra glared at her before turning on her heel and stomping away.

“Take some space, dear - you’ll see I’m right soon enough!” she called after her. An evil, manipulative grin spread widely across her face; Zhan Tiri now muttered to herself as Cassandra left the room. “The Moon Stone Alchemist has fulfilled his purpose - and now, he will need to be removed from the picture. **Before** he realizes his long-dormant powers - have been _**activated**_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOWZAS!!!! So - um - here we are!
> 
> Announcement 1 - 
> 
> This work has now evolved INTO A SERIES, thanks to all of your amazing support!
> 
> I started writing once I posted Chapter 2, tbh. Not sure how long it will be yet - but I can guarantee at least three parts!
> 
> So - um - SURPRISE!
> 
> Announcement 2 - 
> 
> I am trying out a Request page for One Shots!
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/29308488/chapters/71974002
> 
> So - there we have it! As bittersweet as this ending is, I hope y'all are as excited as I am for Part 2 of The Cassarian Chronicles!
> 
> Hit that subscribe button if you haven't already to stay updated!


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